I, Infantilist

[Baby Johnny]

You do great work. I'm looking forward to more.

[Dr_J]

Yes, it HAS been forever, and I apologize deeply. However, this is finals time for me. I'm swamped with tons of work, so here is Chapter Seventeen to make up for it.

Eighteen will be up either by Mid-December or sometime before if I have time.

Here ya go!

Chapter Seventeen

“Breakfast is served, my lady.

[Baby Johnny]

Thank you for the update. I truly enjoyed it.

[zakkurah]

I realy enjoyed your writing, I've been having a bad day. I been thinking about how my life suck, and all these other melodramtic things. Read your story cheered my up. I'm a sucker for a happy endding

[Dr_J]

Okay, everyone! So, here's my Christmas present to you: Chapter Eighteen!!!!! Yayyy! It's....intense to say the least. You've been warned. So, here you go, and sorry for the super long delay

Chapter Eighteen

Have you ever had somebody find out something about you that is so utterly embarrassing, so secretive that you truly felt like you were going to die? It can happen in an instant, which makes it all the scarier. One moment you can be talking with your parents about college, and the next your parents (or at least one of your parents) can say or do something to completely ruin both your perception of them, as well as your relationship with them. Words are said, hearts are broken, and lives can be shattered. It’s during those times that you find out which people really care about you…the only thing I can say is thank God I have Jill. Allow me to explain.

I’d been home from college for winter break during my junior year, and I brought back my essentials; my computer (which I couldn’t live without!), my clothes, and my television. The sad thing was that those things made up about half of my life at the time, and all of them were crammed into my trusty navy blue Honda Accord for the drive home. “Your whole life in a car,

[lil_mikey]

Great story, I've enjoyed reading very much and cannot wait to see the next chapter.

[steal_viper]

great addition, I'm loving this story:)

[Baby Johnny]

Enjoyed the update. I know some idiots who would react like that.

[Fulldiaper]

Awesome writing and story line! Keep up the great work and give us another installment please

[Dr_J]

Here you go everyone! Sorry for the long delay...I'm not in school anymore, but my girlfriend (who I'd love to tell you about sometime ) and my job as Senior Content Manager for a new company is killing my writing time! Here it is!

Chapter Nineteen

The drive to Jill’s was full of sobs, tears, and hatred towards both my father and myself. My fears came alive and played out almost exactly as I’d imagined they would. The only difference was that I had the displeasure of feeling the negative emotions that came with them. Along with the negative emotions was a nauseous feeling in my stomach and a burning sensation in my eyes. They say that if you’re ever feeling any of these things that it’s not a good idea to drive, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and despite my stinging eyes and seemingly ailing heart, I pushed forward.

I had known it right from the start; my parents (or at least, my father) thought of me as a freak. His own flesh and blood seemed to be nothing short of a disgrace to the Morrow name. And who knew what my mom would do or say to me once she found out? The mere thought of it only brought me more sadness. My mind became fixated on Jill, and Jill’s love for me, and her understanding and compassion. It sounds a little paranoid, but at that time I didn’t think that there was anybody else who would come to accept me for who I was. If my own family couldn’t accept my flaw, then who other than Jill would?

By the time I reached Jill’s, my voice was raspy from the screaming and sobbing that I’d done on the way over and I thought that my eyes had shed every last tear. My legs grew weak when I got out of my car. The fatigue from the drive combined with the crippling effect my father’s reaction had on me made it nearly impossible for me to move.

“John, look at you! You poor thing!

[Baby Johnny]

I enjoyed the update even though it didn't go the way I expected. I was expecting John's no to being babied, but figure Jill would end up doing it anyway after a couple days of his mopping. Thank you!

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

Please tell me you are going to finish this? This story is awesome! I wish I could have read it all the way through, but unfortunately, life happens. I finally finished reading your last chapter, and I was sad that there was not more. I look forward to seeing more of the story, and I also strongly suggest that you do publish it under a pen name. I mean, it would really help the mainstream stupid society understand what it is really like for an infantilist. Perhaps, it would possibly cut down on the judging? Give it a gander and see what becomes of it.

[Dr_J]

Please tell me you are going to finish this? This story is awesome! I wish I could have read it all the way through, but unfortunately, life happens. I finally finished reading your last chapter, and I was sad that there was not more. I look forward to seeing more of the story, and I also strongly suggest that you do publish it under a pen name. I mean, it would really help the mainstream stupid society understand what it is really like for an infantilist. Perhaps, it would possibly cut down on the judging? Give it a gander and see what becomes of it.

I am planning on finishing this! I'm glad to hear you like it so much. It's hard to work on now that I'm in a relationship (with a woman who knows and accepts me for who I am ) and am working full time every week. I'll finish it sometime, and I will publish it eventually! I just have to get my foot in the right door first!

[dmavn]

Thanks alot for making me cry..

[Dr_J]

Yes! After weeks of working and losing my creative juices, I wrote Chapter Twenty! Here you go!

Chapter Twenty

Christmas time was usually a time I looked forward to every year. Family gatherings, phone calls to my near-deaf grandparents and other relatives, and of course, seeing the reaction on the faces of everyone who I’d bought gifts for. That particular Christmas wasn’t as good, but I must admit that Jill helped to make it bearable.

She loved the lingerie I bought for her, and in return she gave me a brand new brown leather jacket. This thing was the real deal; that distinctive smell, the smooth feel of the texture, the somewhat squeaky sound that came out with every slight movement of my arms. This wasn’t your ordinary “pleather

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT

By the way, you have my story beat! You are another of the very wonderful and awesome writers on this board. I love your style. It flows so beautifully, and it is very easy to read. Not to mention, it keeps you captivated.

[Dr_J]

It's been a few weeks, I know, but I've had some serious problems lately that have stopped me from writing. Still, I've finished the most recent chapter So please enjoy!

Chapter 21

“I’ve known for so long, mom, and I had to keep it to myself out of fear that something like this would happen!

[steal_viper]

great chapter, good level of detail with the accident. I can't wait for more!!!

JD

[Dr_J]

Hey folks! I'm terribly sorry for the long wait! I was busy all week, and in addition to that, this chapter took a lot out of me. I'm hoping I can get the next chapter done much sooner, but we'll have to see! Please enjoy

Chapter 22

“Is he going to be all right, doctor?

[junyour]

Great chapter. I almost wish my family would tolerate it in me as much as Jon's family will apperently try to understand his needs. Hurry with the next chapter please

[Dr_J]

Yes, it HAS taken me this long to write this chapter, and you will see why. Again, as I warned you the last time, these next few chapters are very upsetting, but they're needed in order to progress the story.

I apologize for such a long wait, but the good news is that with this damned chapter finished, I can finally move on and complete this story once and for all! So, here it is!

Chapter 23

Three days in the hospital was all it took before I was ready to leave, although the doctor was a bit hesitant to release me. Sitting in a hospital bed to get better as opposed to sitting in Jill’s bed to get better didn’t make much of a difference to me. After all, I was given my antibiotics and instructions to get better. That was all I needed.

Mom, dad, and the doctor still insisted that I take the semester off to get better, but I knew what would happen if I did that. I’d get caught up in a job, and by the time the fall semester rolled around, I’d lose interest in returning to college. I had to at least make an effort, and since I was on good terms with most of the instructors in my field, I was sure they’d cut me some slack.

Despite the numerous offers my parents made to stay with them until I recuperated, I still chose to stay with Jill for two reasons: the first being that I was instructed to rest in bed for at least a couple of weeks, which would’ve meant that had I stayed with my parents, there’d have been no way for me to see her, and the second being that I didn’t want to stay in the same house as my father. Time had to tell whether we’d make amends, but until the outcome revealed itself, I wanted as little to do with him as possible. That is, at least until my emotional wounds mended.

The smell of Jill’s house, that combination of cinnamon and fabric softener, was far better than the smell of antiseptics and latex. As a matter of fact, everything about Jill’s house was better than the hospital. The bed was more comfortable, the food didn’t taste like crap, and I was with my girlfriend the entire time I recovered! And let me tell you, Jill really took taking care of me seriously. When she wasn’t working, she waited on me hand and foot to make sure that I only had to get up when absolutely necessary. She also babied me on a weekly basis, which included baths and being fed meals in the bedroom. If I ever become old and decrepit and am required to remain in bed for extended periods of time, I’m making sure I get the same exact treatment. Being babied not only made me happy, but I also think it contributed to a speedy recovery.

By the end of the third week, I’d felt a hundred times better than I did when I first left the hospital. Classes started only a few days later, and I’d managed to walk around the house when Jill wasn’t around to practice for when I was back in school. Two of my courses were online, so I only had to be inside of a classroom on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The rest of my time would be spent in my dorm so I could rest up and make a full recovery. I’d even talked to my professors about my situation. Both completely understood and offered me three extra days of absence if I needed them.

When moving day arrived, Jill helped me pack what little I had into my car and my mother had agreed to meet me at my dorm to help me set up base and unpack some of my things. An hour and half later, we arrived at college and got my things to my room. My mom of course showed up late, but she made up for it with a massive stock of chicken noodle soup and a new feather quilt. Since I’d left most of my things in my dorm during winter break, it didn’t take long for me to settle back in, and surprisingly it only took my mom asking me twice if I was sure I didn’t want to take the semester off before she gave up. I remember she reluctantly left that day, almost as if she’d felt I was making a huge mistake. I didn’t let it get to me, though.

Jill, on the other hand, asked if she could stay with me that night. HIT’s Spring semester was always set up so students could either return on the Saturday or Sunday before classes started, and so Martin Luther King Day fell on the first Monday of the semester. It sounds odd, but hey, it worked. None of my roommates had shown up yet, so Jill and I had the place to ourselves. Nothing beats a wintry afternoon in a cozy living room with the woman you love, especially when you’re still recovering from an illness.

She gave me the special treatment that afternoon. The only time I moved from the couch was to go to the bathroom. Jill cooked me soup when I felt hungry, ran her fingers through my hair while we watched a movie, and cuddled up close when I felt cold. And, of course, she babied me. After all, we wouldn’t get to see each other as often with college starting. I was just glad I’d be finished in another year and a half. Maybe it was the illness, but I really got tired of college. Still, I knew I couldn’t slack off just yet. The finish line was getting closer, and there was no time to futz around.

My lovely girlfriend babied me exceptionally more than usual that night. She took an extra long time with the diaper changes, baby-talked my ear off, and fed me nice and slow. I think it might’ve been because we wouldn’t be able to see each other as much, what with school and all.

The night ended almost as soon as it arrived. It was a sad moment for both Jill and I. Until I recovered, I wouldn’t be able to drive back and forth to see her, and with her varying work schedule, there was no guarantee that she’d be able to visit every weekend. We were both stuck between a rock and a hard place with no room to budge. The only way out was to work together, and that’s exactly what we did. We talked on the phone every few days to avoid the dreaded silence and boredom of a once-a-day phone call. When Jill missed me, she’d send me a video message or we’d simply use our webcams to see each other. It was these things that gave us just enough room to get out of the rut we were in.

By the beginning of February, I felt normal again, with the exception of my voice still sounding a bit gruff. I could take full breaths without my lungs hurting, I wasn’t coughing up anything nasty, and the antibiotics I was given were all used up. Even the doctor was surprised when I made a second visit so he could see how I was holding up. The urge to point in his face and say, “You were wrong!

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

I absolutely loved it. And the way you write does draw up emotions in the reader. I really hate the father. He is a self-righteous asshole. Everyone is supposed to accept the asshat for his abuse and his stupidity and the horrible way he treated his child all of these years, and he never ever had to appologize for it, but he can't accept something so harmless as infantilism. I'm glad he died! Stupid bastard. Perhaps, he will burn in hell for eternity! then, he can wish he said sorry! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

If you got that response out of me, and I' just one of your readers, you really, really have to continue. Your writing is out of this world. It is one of the absolute best! Do you feel brave enough to publish it? Perhaps, it would help more people understand infantilism. It is a damn, good story, and I cannot wait to see the rest.

[Johhnny18]

I love the story and the father got what he deserves.

[Dr_J]

I absolutely loved it. And the way you write does draw up emotions in the reader. I really hate the father. He is a self-righteous asshole. Everyone is supposed to accept the asshat for his abuse and his stupidity and the horrible way he treated his child all of these years, and he never ever had to appologize for it, but he can't accept something so harmless as infantilism. I'm glad he died! Stupid bastard. Perhaps, he will burn in hell for eternity! then, he can wish he said sorry! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

If you got that response out of me, and I' just one of your readers, you really, really have to continue. Your writing is out of this world. It is one of the absolute best! Do you feel brave enough to publish it? Perhaps, it would help more people understand infantilism. It is a damn, good story, and I cannot wait to see the rest.

I'm glad you like this so much! The father is very understanding...a shame that his demise came too early for John to continue to try salvaging what little they had left. But this will make John's life take a turn for the worst.

And yes, I do feel brave enough to publish it. Perhaps not under my real name, but still, it will be published. I want them all to know about this. And by writing it this way, with that realism that John is a man, too, I think it will help people realize that we're not much different, aside from this lifestyle.

[Dr_J]

Here is the much anticipated 24th Chapter! Sorry about the wait! It's been hard to write, both because it's a touchy subject and because of college.

Chapter 24

Not in a million years did I think my father’s life would end so soon. Neither he nor my mom ever mentioned that he was having any complications or health concerns. I couldn’t really fathom what my mom had told me on the phone. I was confused at first, as if my brain couldn’t compute what had happened. Death’s Black Hand took him swiftly and far too soon. You might think my father got what he deserved, and while I was upset with him for everything he’d said and did, he was still my father. I still loved him.

When I’d gotten off of the phone with my mom, Jill asked me what was wrong. My hands trembled violently as I said, “He’s dead.