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I, Infantilist


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Okay, so here's the deal. I am, at heart, a writer...a published writer. I have never in my life written anything like this before, nor do I plan on writing anymore after this particular story. I ask all of you, since this is my first time with this, to be constructively criticizing my work, and be patient since I've only recently come to accept my quark (that's what I like to call it).

With that said, here's chapter one of "I, Infantilist"--Sorry, it's a bit long!!! And I promise there are no major misspellings or poor uses of grammar! :)

CHAPTER ONE

Some people turn to cigarettes to relieve stress. Some open a bottle of alcohol and chug away. Some scream, or punch walls, or take drugs (both legal and illegal). But not me. I don’t do any of those things. I’ve found my ultimate stress reliever. No, it’s not boxing or working out (though I need to work out for my job as a bouncer). You see, to relive stress, I turn to diapers. Yeah, I said it, and yes, you’re reading that correctly. Diapers.

Run off, turn your head in disgust, tell yourself I’m a sick bastard who has problems…I’ve heard it all before. I’ve been in groups where people randomly got onto the topic of infantilism/diaper wearing and nearly began a hate group because they were so appalled by the lifestyle, while I had to keep my mouth shut to avoid any problems. So go on and get out of here if you wish. It’ll show your arrogance and failure to understand. Still, if I’ve intrigued you thus far, then perhaps you’d be interested in my story! You see, by acts of God, or fate, or what have you, I found the girl who loves me for me, including my odd wish to be babied sometimes. I could go into how much I love this woman, and how fortunate I am to have her, but I wish to tell you of the turn of events that led up to me finding her, because that’ll make this all the more interesting. I promise I won’t bore you, so if you’re ready, let’s take a trip into yesteryear! Ah, but allow me to introduce myself first! My name is Jonathon Morrow, but you can just call me John. I’m currently 22 years of age and work as a bouncer in a night club. I have my B.S. degree in Electrical Engineering, but I’m kind of in between jobs right now. Hey, the economy’s rough these days! And as mentioned before, I am an infantilist. If you don’t know what that is, just look at the first six letters in the word and you should get the picture.

You might be wondering when I discovered my little quark (you can say infantilism is normal if you’d like, but I still feel that since it isn’t widely accepted by society that it isn’t exactly something you see everyday). Well anyway, I remember having the fascination with being diapered back when I was five years old! Long time ago, huh? I watched some cartoon where this girl would baby absolutely every cartoon character she’d come into contact with. From burping to putting the characters on a changing table and changing their diapers, this girl was really into her babying, and I became jealous rather quickly, though I couldn’t explain why. I’d been potty trained for two years at that time, so why on Earth would I want to do something so unheard of? Why would I wish to be treated as helpless as an infant again, especially when I was so independent at my young age? The questions still linger today. No, I didn’t ever try wearing diapers or asking my parents if I could be a baby again, because I knew they’d be upset, and it’s just plain weird.

I remember this desire stuck with me for a few years. Any cartoon that had some form of a character being put into or putting someone else in a diaper and being treated like an infant captivated me. I suppose I could blame television for my quark, and I for a while I did, but I know there was more to it than that. I remember I kept on telling myself that wanting to be treated that way was wrong and that my parents would probably never speak to me again if they found out, so I suppressed the feeling for seven long years. Yeah, long time, huh? I know now that it was a stupid and unhealthy thing to do, but hey, it worked for quite a while! All of those feelings were lost. I no longer wanted to even associate myself with anything babyish, even when my mom started doing daycare! I was living what I thought was the normal life; hanging out with friends, keeping my grades up in school, riding my awesome BMX bike, and of course getting into some trouble in town. One time we set up traffic cones on the bridge at night and made drivers think that there was a detour…boy did they get pissed! I didn’t think the cops would come so quickly that night. Jeez, you’d think they were responding to a robbery or something! But anyway, life was great! Then, things changed. Drastically.

Like a person having a sudden recovery from amnesia, my desires and thoughts came back in full swing! I remember what triggered it, though. I was in ninth grade, and we had this stupid Home-Ec class we were forced to take. I’d say the only thing I enjoyed in the class was baking, mostly because I got to eat the food I made. Well, sometime during the winter months, we had to do a babysitting course in our class. Now I for one dislike children. Kind of ironic, eh? I like to act like an infant sometimes, yet I don’t like actual children in any way, aside from my nieces and nephews, of course!

We had to watch this God-awful video with some thirty year old dude telling us how to babysit and take care of kids. I don’t remember much of the video, mostly because I was busy doodling in my notebook, but I overheard some of my classmates talking about how ridiculous the video was. Of course, some of the females were more focused on the damned presentation than life itself. I suppose they needed to be, though, since most of them were going to be competing to get the best babysitting jobs around.

After the seemingly eternal video ended, my instructor had us get into groups of four so we could “practice

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Very impressed Dr. J, well written and would love to see more, especially if the three girls actually got to baby the guy, great story, great detail with the baby-talk..........booboo

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Very good john. Its a good story and i like how u start out in the begining sorta as a background info. Please continue and yes i agree with booboo. i wonder if the gals get to diaper him????

mommyluv

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Thanks to both of you! I appreciate your support and I'm also glad to see that you like my work! I can't make any guarantees...yet! This story for now focuses on John's development in accepting his infantilism, so it jumps to different areas of his life from old to recent.

I must say that I'm impressed by how many views I've received as well, since I only posted the story Sunday night ^_^

With that said, Chapter 2 will be up...in about 20 seconds! :D

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Chapter 2

For a while I had kept my wish to be babied on the back shelf of my brain, but I couldn’t keep the feeling at bay for too long. I remember during the last year of high school I was heavily addicted to online multiplayer games. No, not the flashy three-dimensional ones where you save the world and play as other creatures. I was into the simple text games like “Fridge Magnets

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Dr. J,

This is a very well-written story! i am guessing that a considerable percentage of it is autobiographical, especially in part two, since the descriptions of "John's" feelings and emotions are so vivid.

Chances are that quite a few of us reading this story can relate to some or all of it -- struggling with understanding our fetishes and sexual desires, feeling certain that we are unique in our "quarks", discovering (often via the Internet) that we are NOT alone and of course, the ongoing issue of acceptance and realizing that the knee-jerk reaciton of many people to something they don't understand is to fear it or ridicule it.

Many of us are in, or have been in, relationships with parents, friends, loved ones, significant others and spouses where a well-verbalized condemnation and judgment about a fetish and its participants has forced us into silence. It is highly unfortunate that, as you stated in part two of this story, that above set of people "taught me all about accepting others for who they were, who told me they’d love me no matter what, hated people like me", but your efforts to express yourself through this story will hopefully be combined with other resources to help ALL fetishers, regardless of what their particular area of attraction is, realize that "different" doesn't mean "bad" and to never give up hope that they will find and connect with that special someone who really WILL "love them no matter what."

Now, hurry up and post chapter three, because i'm anxious to find out what happened to you, oops, i mean, John, and Jill!

Latexman :)

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Wow! I'm like completely overcome with happiness and excitement! I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for all of your support!

Latexman, you just about hit the nail on the head with the autobiographical twist. Much of this is similar to what I've been through, and that is how I intended this story to be. Now, I must be honest: not everything will be true, but I will say that 90 percent of what is told here is based on personal experience. Still, I aim to make this as realistic as possible, and being a fiction prose writer/ published author, I know I can succeed :)

It's something that will connect with infantilists and DL's alike, but I really hope that someday it will help society to understand that this is real, and that we're not sick humans. It aches my heart to know that there are those who despise what I'm into, but c'est la vie.

I am in the process of working on Chapter Three, so I promise I'll do my best to get it done in a timely manner without rushing it :D

Luckily (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), work has decided to give me poor hours this week, so I have some time to bust out this story ^_^

Chapter Three will be done soon!

And again, Thanks so much!

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Dr_J

I too agree with latexman.. You will find others who share your feelings, and as for your writting.. Please continue.. You are doing a very good job. Getting very interesting.. :D

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Okay everyone :D

Here is chapter 3 as promised! Chapter Four will....come eventually. I know what I'm doing, it's just getting harder with work and people coming over to visit a lot. So, please be patient ^_^ But, for all of your lovely support, I give you the next chapter!!! Enjoy!!!!

Chapter 3

They say that college is when you finally find out things about yourself that you never thought would be possible…I couldn’t agree more. No family, no limits to what you feel like doing, many open-minded people. It’s the perfect place to unleash your full potential, as well as discover other parts of your life that had been lying dormant for years, which is exactly what happened in my case!

I’d been accepted for enrollment at the Hansen Institute of Technology on the day I turned eighteen; one hell of a birthday present if you ask me! The school was about 130 miles west of where I lived, and I must say that I was impressed by pretty much everything I saw when I visited the campus. The whole university was surrounded by trees and sat atop a hill. All of the main buildings were at the center of the campus, and the dorms…easily the greatest thing! The dorms were single rooms! There were three rooms to a suite, and six suites per building. After months of dreading the thought of having to share a room with a complete stranger, I came to find that I’d have my own room! I wouldn’t have to worry about my privacy being invaded! Freedom was still mine! The summer would move along rather quickly, what with me working like crazy and going to tons of graduation parties.

The end of August came, and my stuff was packed: my computer, my television and gaming system, my clothes, some posters, a shelf, an abundance of food and a fridge that my parents had bought for me. My whole life packed into my car. The two hour drive into a town I’d never even heard of would soon be my new home.

I couldn’t wait to study Electrical Engineering and meet new people and faces. I’d heard so many things about college that far surpassed any type of high school setting. There weren’t as many fights, people partied and socialized with others regardless of social status, and most importantly, I’d be able to get a decent job once I was finished. What does high school get you? A lifetime guarantee that you’ll be flipping burgers or cleaning hotel rooms. And finally, the one thing that truly excited me the most: I’d finally, after so many years, be able to try wearing a diaper in the comfort of my own dorm! All of these things made the drive seem much longer than it actually was, but I’m a patient guy, so I knew it’d be well worth the wait.

Once I arrived at HIT (yeah, sounds silly, doesn’t it?), my heart was overcome with excitement. My parents soon arrived and parked their car next to mine, and after I signed in to the residence halls and said hello to a few strangers, I began unpacking. My parents helped me (well, more like my dad helped. My mom was never one to do any strenuous lifting, strenuous lifting being anything over ten pounds…) In merely an hour I was settled into my room. My rock band posters lined the walls, my computer was all hooked up and ready to go, and my closet shelves were stacked high with a ridiculous amount of food.

“John, is this everything?

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The story continues to go well -- and only 150 miles apart, huh? This is making me anxious for the fourth chapter, because i want you to hurry up and get to Jill's visit! Better yet, hurry up and get to the part of the story where he transfers to her college, moves in with her and becomes her baby IRL, 24/7... !!! LOL :D

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Lol Latexman!

Come now! That would no longer make this a prose, now would it? :D If I did something so extreme as that, then this would be someone else's fantasy story! You shall see what develops here, and please don't forget that all of this is leading up to where Mr. Morrow is now! So, expect some twists and whatnot!

:biker_h4h:

And again, I'm glad to see you like it!

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Lol Latexman!

Come now! That would no longer make this a prose, now would it? :D If I did something so extreme as that, then this would be someone else's fantasy story! You shall see what develops here, and please don't forget that all of this is leading up to where Mr. Morrow is now! So, expect some twists and whatnot!

:biker_h4h:

And again, I'm glad to see you like it!

Hmmm, "twists and whatnot"... now you've set my imagination adrift without ANY rudder! Let's see, i'm going to guess that on one of their future frequent car trips to spend time together that this young man will be in a car wreck, will wake up in a hospital to find that some bladder damage from the impact has made him permanently incontinent and he is destined to spend the rest of his life in diapers. But, Jill comes to visit him and tells him that it doesn't matter to her, because she has a HUGE diaper fetish and can think of nothing better than having her own grown-up diaper kid around, and they get married in the hospital's neonatal unit. Instead of announcing that "you may now kiss the bride", the preacher will say to Jill, "you may now change your new husband, because his diaper has overflowed and he just peed all over the floor". Before he can object, she slides a large pacifier into his mouth and leads him to a changing table.

Am i getting close to the next phase of the story? Sometimes my psychic abilities short out when my diaper gets too soggy, so i'm not always clear on all of the details...

LMAO :whistling::roflmao:

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Hahahaha! :D

Wow! You have quite the imagination! But sadly, nothing of the sort will come from this. Some things will happen, but again, they will be used to develop John Morrow's character even further. Just hang in there, buddy! Chapter 4 will be coming soon!!!!

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Hahahaha! :D

Wow! You have quite the imagination! But sadly, nothing of the sort will come from this. Some things will happen, but again, they will be used to develop John Morrow's character even further. Just hang in there, buddy! Chapter 4 will be coming soon!!!!

OK, i'll try to rein in my imagination. So, to keep it more believable, i'm going to assume that in Chapter Four, you plan to reveal that "Jill" is actually the now-grown love child created during a night of passion between Elvis and an alien from Pluto. However, the slight incompatibility between their DNA resulted in Jill being born with no bladder muscles and leading to a lifetime of diaper dependence. But, John isn't as bothered by that information when he finally meets her as he is by her blue skin and three eyeballs...

Am i getting closer?? :screwy:

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Well, she WAS at one point a child! hahaha.

It's not as "twisted" as you think. Ir's a realistic twist, though! Just wait!!!! :D

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You will most likely be upset with me. Chapter Four is now done, but with a well-thought out cliffhanger. I did this for two reasons. One was that it is a long chapter, and two is that I know you'll have to come back for more :) Not that I'm worried about people not liking my work.

So, here goes, and I'll continue working!!!

Chapter 4

The next morning I woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside. The sun barely shone through the blinds, but my body told me that it was time to get up. After I stretched, I threw my covers off and stood to my feet to stretch. I looked down and remembered that I was wearing a diaper, and it was a good thing I remembered, because I almost walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth! The clock read 8:00; two hours before I had to be in class. I knew that it was time to take the diaper off, and so I did. No way would I even try to wear one underneath my clothes. This was a personal matter, and the thought of wandering around in public with my secret practically screaming beneath my boxers made me cringe.

I carefully slid the diaper down since it hadn’t been taped on too tightly, threw my boxers and pajamas on, hid the now useless diaper, and took a quick shower.

That must have been the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced! I’m not so sure about actually using a diaper, though…that’s just…not my thing, and I imagine that anyone who would want to baby me would find that rather disgusting. I don’t need to take it THAT far. Now, for Jill…she needs to know. Ah, Jill…tonight or tomorrow is when you will find out.

I took a deep breath as I exited the shower and prepared for the day. This confession would take both thought and courage…I was missing the courage part of the plan, though a part of me was begging to let everything out.

That night after dinner and some Frisbee with my suitemates, I headed back into my room and worked on some assignments. Jill would be on the messenger soon, and when she signed on, it’d be time for me to spill my guts out.

Just as I finished a crappy essay for my English 101 course, Jill’s name appeared on my screen. Within seconds she IM’d me with a hello, and we started chatting. We told each other about our day and what we had planned for the weekend, as well as how excited we both were about her coming up to visit me. It was a conversation that was no different from any other, until I finally mustered the courage to admit what was beginning to feel like my flaw.

Me: Hey, Jill. Have you ever known something so big that you were too afraid to tell anybody, but at the same time you wished to tell someone about it?

Jill: Honestly, I can’t say that I have, haha.

Me: Ohhh. I see.

Jill: Something wrong?

She knew…through a screen, she could tell.

Me: Kind of =\

Jill: Awww. Well, do you want to talk about it?

Me: I can try, but…you see, I’ve never talked about it before with anybody, and it’s been bothering me for quite some time now…almost thirteen years.

Jill: Jeez! Thirteen years?!

Me: Yeahhh. Well, it’s personal. I’m afraid of what people would think if they found out, and I’d heard my parents criticize and ridicule people like me before.

Jill: John…are you-are you gay?

Me: Hahaha! Nooo! Not at all!

Jill: Oh haha. Sorry! I just wanted to make sure.

Me: Well, rest assured. I’m definitely straight as an arrow!

Jill: Good! Well then, I don’t mean to pry, but what is it? That is, if you don’t mind telling me.

My hands trembled violently and smacked the keyboard. I felt a combination of sorrow and confidence as I tried to type out what I wished to say.

Me: Okay. Here goes…sorry, this may take a while!

Jill: It’s okay!

Me: You know how you joke around and call me a baby? And how you like to jokingly treat me like one sometimes?

Jill: Yeah?

Me: Well…I…I like that. I like to be treated that way, but like in real life, too.

I cursed myself for pressing the “Enter

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Dr_J

Well since u already prewarned us that you are going to keep us in suspense with the next chapter, I cant wait as to what happens btwn john and jill. Its very good so far. :) Would have wanted to "kill ya" if you would have ended it with out telling us there is more.. haha!

Keep up the work :thumbsup:

mommyluv

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Well, this chapter was certainly disappointing. i was totally counting on Elvis, some aliens and the revealing of Jill as their love child, or at least the next Democratic candidate for President, but nooooooooooooooo, all we get is a sexy, romantic and erotic tale of someone taking a huge risk and finding that it is paying off with a beautiful, understanding and cuddly lady.

But she doesn't even have blue skin or three eyeballs...WHAT KINDA story is this turning into? Yuck!!!

LOL

Seriously (and i HOPE you know i'm joking!), this continues to be a great story and i'm thoroughly enjoying reading it! However, i kept looking for a cliff or someone named Cliff at the end, but i can't even find someone hanging anywhere...

:P:D

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So glad to see you all enjoy this! I promise you the next chapter is chock-full of babyish goodness :) I'm having a blast writing it, too! Just wait...by tomorrow...I think it'll be done!

Just don't expect it to end after that, though! :D

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Wow! Just wow! His university life just seemed so similar to what I have. Just wish I can find someone like Jill. Your writing is truly amazing. Definitely looking forward to your next installment. :D

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Hooray! Chapter Five is here!!!! Hope you've all been enjoying this! This Chapter will probably be your favorite...I know I had a good time writing it. Just remember that it's far from over! Without further adieu...here is Chapter Five :D

Chapter Five

Jill and I walked into my bedroom. She held her bag close as I again shut the door and locked it. I had to keep my bases secured!

“Okay, John. Now, where are these diapers that you bought?

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