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Well well well, DailyDiapers. You don't know me, but I know you. Oh boy, do I... My name is SketchPatch1760. I'm 25 years old and and I've been visiting your site for 10 years. That's right, 10 years. I remember when Diaperspace was a thing and Internet Explorer reined supreme. Of course, that was back when I was a teenager starting puberty. I'm autistic (high-functioning Aspurgers), suffer from anxiety and depression, and tend to act on implusive (though I'm working to fix it). This are EXTREMELY important to my story. I consider myself one of you. I've had sexual and nonsexual attractions to diapers for years. I remember getting strange feelings for the diapering scenes in Rugrats, especially the forced changing scene in Maybe Baby and Potty-Training Spike. Thinking hard enough, I can vaguely remember getting placed on the changing table at my church's nursery as a 2-3 year old. It felt great to find a community that relished in the same things as I. I even started my own ABDL account on Deviantart back in 2018 under the name SketchPatch176 and began making fanart. In 18 months, I reached 450 followers and even got a few commissions done. I made TONS of ABDL art and stories of Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Star Vs The Forces of Evil, and The Loud House. I made a lot of ABDL friends there and was generally happy. And yet...it's also been a great source of frustration and pain. When I started reading ABDL stories and getting off to them, most of them were of underage kids and teens. I still remember my first ABDL story being Baby Katie over on FoxTaleTimes. I didn't know or care at that time. The scenarios in these stories were hot and I loved picturing them in my head (later even imaginging myself in the place of the protagonist). It's only now, when the feelings still persist, that I worry. Once I got into my older teens and learned what child porn was, my enjoyment of ABDL started to turn into paranoia. Was I reading child porn? Did jerking off to stories of kids and teens getting diapered and babied make me a pedophile? To makes things worse, my mom found out about my fetish and for the last 10 years, I've been trying to convince her (and myself) that this fetish isn't illegal and ammoral. I've defended you guys countless times to her. However, the fetish still worries her and, after all this time, it worries me too. She kepts hoping that I would grow out of it and called my art "boarderline risky." This worry eventually consumed me with fear and acting on impluse, I did the impossible: I deleted my SketchPatch account. I just...I couldn't take the stress anymore. It was eating away at me and in pure desperation, I thought that purging it all would relieve me of all the pain. But it only made me feel worse. I felt like a drug addict on withdraw it was that bad. Even now, six months after the act, I still feel this way and constantly debate whether I should have done it or not. Now, I'm currently seeing a therapist, who tells me that drawing art and stories of underage characters is wrong and promotion of rape culture/sexualizing the image of children. I do see some truth in her words, but it doesn't make the urges go away. It only gave me even deeper conflicting ideas of the ABDL community. I mean, our community claims to be completely against pedophilia, child exploitation, and child porn, yet ADISC, DailyDiapers, AR Archives, ABDLStoryForum, AB/DLStories, AB-DL.com (now gone), Baby Brrr Nursery (now gone), ZityBitz, Deviantart, and many more sites have TONS of stories staring under-18 protagonists in both sexual and nonsexual ABDL stories. And that's not even mentioning the fanart community. Now, I consider ADISC and DailyDiapers to be the kings of the ABDL community, the experts. If anyone can explain this double standard to me (or at least emphasize with me and my issues), it would be you guys. So I ask you...How? How can our community constantly claim to stand against child exploitation and the involvement of minors in our kink when we are CONSTANTLY doing the opposite in our stories and fanart? I've seen everything from underage characters being sissified to forcibly diapered to even mentally/physically regressed. How can this not qualify as animated child porn? Why do we get off to stories like this?! I'm sorry for sounding so judgemental, but this stress is literally KILLING me! My soul feels like it's being yanked in a hundred different directions and my self-confidence has plummeted. I'm not totally blaming you guys, but sites like this gave the younger, impressionable me a sexual interests in stories/art of underage characters in diapers and I need help. I don't want to feel like a closeted pedo or perv all my life. Please...help me. Explain to me this double standard.

I went to therapy for 5 months now, because of my social anxiety, co-dependency. The therapist was not much help, he did not address my emotional damage from years of emotional abuse from my father, and he just went on to tell me that i just need to get a job, or go to college, which i feel too stressed to even think about doing right now. I even tried what he told me, and searched for a job, i did not find a job i was capable of doing, and every time i tried, the anxiety, and stress only got worse. Now my parents are getting a divorce 3 days before Christmas, and my father absolutely refuses to pay child support, because he says that he has provided for them enough, just by taking them to school, which is a ridiculously small amount of support. Since he refuses to pay child support we are going to have to go to court, which is absolutely terrifying to me because of my social anxiety. He also is trying to get custody of my little twin sisters who are both 13, which is causing even more stress, and anxiety because i know he will not emotionally support them, or make sure they are eating right, and i care deeply for my sisters. I have also been trying to find a relationship, because i just can't deny the feeling that i have, that i would be much happier, and maybe even be able to deal with this better, because i would have emotional support. Yet every time i try, people tell me that i need to get therapy and "Fix," myself first before i even think about a relationship. To me, that would be denying my feelings, because it is very important to me to find someone who i will love, and will love me just as much. It's so important to me that i actually cannot stop thinking about it, not even for a day, i don't know why this is, but all i know is i can't distract myself enough to not worry about it, because it's that important to me. Also, i have a ton of pressure on me, because we are very poor right now, we are barely paying our bills, and almost had our electricity and gas shut off, and my parents are expecting me to get a job because i am the only one old enough, and not physically disabled, other than my father, which is looking for a job right now. My older sister which is 21 years old, is always on her computer, every single day, all day, and when my mom tried to suggest going to therapy for the issues that she has, she just flipped out, saying she doesn't even want to try getting help for herself. When i heard that, i just felt so angry, and depressed, because i have been giving it my all to try getting better, and get a job. It's like she doesn't even know how stressed i am about it, or just doesn't care. It is just very, very stressful to know that you are basically the only hope of supporting for the family, and then your only sibling that could possibly help, turns their back on you, probably without even realizing it. And she is older than me by almost 3 years. I am so stressed from all of this, that if my parents even get into a small argument, i get paralyzed from anxiety, and i can't even breath correctly, and then i get really weak, and exhausted afterward. I sometime even start shivering, and can't stop until i calm down. Honestly, i don't even know how much more i can take, or if I'm going to collapse and die from the stress some day. I don't know what it will take to get better anymore. I'm just very confused, and overwhelmed, yet I'm only 19 years old, and i haven't even been able to get on with my life because of all this. I'm sorry if this is a bit much, or long, but it is all the truth.

I've came to the realization that the world doesn't need me. I'm only good at filling in space apparently. I was looking for a new job, but everything pays so little. I need more to live on. I want a place of my own. I can't see how people do it on less then 10 dollars an hour. it's impossible. Everything cost so much. I can't even afford rent here. I have to live with my asshole of a father. Part of me wants to just quit. The other part want to rip people in half. I've searched for jobs all around me. THERE'S NOTHING. They all pay too little. The job I have now is so terrible. I do my job and half of my boss' work on top of it. At this point I just hope my body gives up soon. I have no idea what to do. I've tired getting a degree, since everything needs it, but I couldn't pass no matter how hard I tried. I failed FOUR times. I would study and somehow still fail. Someone please take the pain away I don't want to hurt anymore.

Couldn't find another post on this, but I was just wondering what people have to calm themselves down when they are overwhelmed from anxiety,or other things. I have a few "time out bottles" that I like to use,

So me and my best friend are over in Boston for the summer on a work/travel visa. I thought, 'hey this is a great chance to get some good diapers only available in the states' ok here's the rub, he doesn't know I'm a DL, we're sharing a room so privacy is kinda in short supply. I figured its only a couple of months without diapers i'll be fine. But the stress of job hunting has made me long for a night in my diaper relaxing not worrying. So i'm turning to you guys for advice. Should i tell him? Should i let hime stumble over my diapers(if i order them) ?or should i suck it up and bury the feelings (i'm irish, supression is second nature to us)