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Showing results for tags 'sphincter'.
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I was replying to someone else about training your bladder muscle to stay relaxed and I remembered I used to have meditation sessions where I used guided imagery to imagine my sphincter muscle weakening and giving up. Here’s some visuals that I created for myself over the years: 1. I have some sort of medical condition where my bladder control progressively and irreversibly weakens. 2. I had some sort of cutting edge non invasive surgery where a stent was placed in the sphincter muscle preventing it from clenching. 3. Using my massage wand on my bladder and pelvic area and imagining that it was a magical device that makes the bladder not function correctly. 4. I have an unusual medical condition where clenching the bladder releases a neurotoxin that slowly kills the sphincter muscle. The more I clench the worse it functions. This one was particularly effective for me! 5. My entire bladder including the muscles and all the nerves and their connections to the brain was somehow swapped out with an artificial more primitive bladder system that does works like a baby’s bladder. Sometimes I imagine this is either a consequence of, or treatment for #4 above. 6. I am toddler who doesn’t understand that people can stop them selves from peeing when they feel the sensation to go. I don’t get understand what the sphincter muscle is used for. I can’t be the only one who did this, right? -
So if anyone has followed my posts in the past they would know I've been trying to get a double sphincterotomy lately. For those who haven't, let me explain. I'e always loved wearing diapers for as long as I can remember. About 18 years ago I got into a bad car wreck and have had urge incontinence ever since. Now I certainly do like the diapers but my urges are annoying at best and painful at worst. I've had every med for incontinence, and even a few surgeries to try and eliminate my urges. This has actually made things worse for me as I would just flood my diapers before, but now I also have an obstructive sphincter which means I have a hard time peeing as well. This is like a double wammy on me now since the longer it takes for me to pee the more painful my bladder gets. I'd like to also point out that my urges are most likely a result of neurogenic bladder caused by spinal shock and spinal bruising from my wreck. As such I do not have a conscious control over my bladder that I could choose to give up. This means the 12 month program, or just keeping it relaxed down there, just won't work on me. Nor will hypnosis. About 8 years ago I came to realize that there just wasn't a "cure" out there for me- no matter what my urologists wanted to try. That's when I started looking for ways to make me pee openly without my bladder ever filling up. Thereby eliminating my urges out right, and as a bonus, allow me to sleep through the night. The hard part has been finding a urologist that first, won't focus on solely curing me with more pills. And second, will actually listen to what I want, to help me cut my losses and focus on improving my quality of life. I think I may have found one at my local mayo clinic though. My first appointment with him seemed to have gone pretty good, but now he seems to be wavering a little. He now want's to do another urodynamics test on me- the third one now in a single year. His main concern seems to be that urogists just haven't done sphincterotomies in 6 years now (where was I 8 years ago then). I've written him a personal letter in the hopes it will persuade him to do it, but it seems this is still all in the air. I'm worried this won't work out for me as I see no other realistic alternative for me. I'm still holding out to the hope he will focus on doing me good instead of failing that and doing no harm, but we'll see.
