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lalelukid posted a topic in [DD] SurveysHello to all the special people, who got (or want to get) urinary incontinent by wearing diapers 24/7. And hello also to all people, who are actually on this struggling way with incontinence desires... I´m interested in the percentage of the effort in doing this. And in detail I´m interested, how much time the process of becoming incontinent has token for you. Thank you very much for your participation! Lalelu Kid
Sigh. Confession time! At the end of this past summer/early fall, I had a major guilt cycle. I ended up tossing my entire stash (including my expensive fitted cloth diaper and onsie). Now I am soooo regretting it because...I'm still a DL! Yikes! Never thought that'd happen! (Sorry, heavy sarcasm here because I'm berating myself for being so rash [ha, rash, get it?].) Anywho... I guess I had gotten to the point where diapers were taking over my entire waking thoughts and it scared me. I kept trying and trying to think of ways to come "out of the diaper closet" so to speak so I could freely wear 24/7 if I so chose but fear kept me from outing myself to family with whom I live. That, and my stash was getting huge. I had stock-piled Abena M4s because they are my favorite diaper and they had basically taken over the back of my entire closet so I was in fear of someone finding the stash. Also it was getting difficult to keep smuggling my wet diapers out of the house for trash removal purposes every week since I was wearing almost every night and wetting heavily when I could. Diapers consumed me for most of the summer and it was starting to get scary. I panicked. I gathered everything in large garbage bags and hauled them to a discrete dumpster behind a shopping mall and tossed everything in. We're talking a couple hundred dollars worth of diapers! It felt great! Now it's the new year and I want my diapers back! Waaah! The day before yesterday I went onto XPMedical and bought 1 pack of Abena M4s, soon to be at my PO box. I can't wait! But: Still haven't come "out of the closet," so we'll see how that goes. I intend to not stockpile diapers again so that if I do have another purge cycle I won't have to worry about wasting hundreds of dollars again. And, since my stash will be smaller, it'll be less likely that someone will find it so less worry there for me. I know that lots of AB/Dls have this binge/purge thing. I've had it before where I've sworn off diapers for a while. This time around has been probably the shortest gap I've had between the "toss it" and "gimmie" phases. I'm wondering if there is anything else I can do to minimize this cycle of guilt/fear/want/acceptance and just have diapers as a "normal" part of my life instead of having them consume my thoughts every waking moment between times when I can wear and when I can't. Any thoughts, suggestions, ancedotes?