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SashaButters

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SashaButters last won the day on March 27 2022

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  1. Matilda ground her teeth together. She was trying to be nice, but as she looked up from her own schoolwork for the fifth time to catch Hortensia doodling in her notebook instead of reading her assignment, she was losing her patience. Fast. “Mom isn’t going to let us stay home if you don’t do any of your work.” Matilda said. She liked going to school. She did. But this…was so much better. Hortensia let out a deep sigh and dropped her pencil before letting out an exaggerated moan. “How can you just sit there and do school work all day? It’s so boring!” Hortensia complained. She looked at the clock. Had it really already been three hours? “I guess we could take a break.” Matilda said. Hortensia threw down her pen and let out a cheer before launching herself up from the kitchen table. “My arse is killing me.” Matilda’s face fell. “God, not like that. Quit it. I hate when people look at me like that.” Hortensia groaned. “Like what?” “Like I’m going to break. No one talks to me normally anymore. I’m starting to actually want to go back to school and get treated like shite.” “Why?” Matilda asked with a sour face. “I spent all that time wishing to go to school only to realize I had it better just doing my own thing.” “I just want things to go back to the way they were.” Matilda realized it wasn’t school she missed, but her old life. But going back to school wasn’t going to get her mom out of prison, or change what had been done to her. “I told you to stop looking at me like that.” She growled. Matilda averted her eyes. “I can make a better lunch than the school can.” Hortensia perked up at the mention of food. It was only 10: 30, so brunch then. Even better, because school didn’t serve brunch. “I can make a quiche.” “What the bloody hell is a quiche?” “You mix a couple ingredients, like eggs and stuff and then you ba-” Matilda’s face fell. She wasn’t supposed to use the oven unsupervised. “Never mind.” she said glumly. “Sandwiches it is.” “Sandwiches? What happened to ‘I can make a better lunch than the school?’” “I’m not supposed to use the oven by myself.” Matilda said with a scowl. “You’re not by yourself.” Hortensia said with a shrug. Matilda shifted in indecision. “Quiche.” Hortensia cheered, fist high in the air. “You don’t even know what a quiche is.” “But now I want it.” Matilda groaned. She had opened up a can of worms she couldn’t get herself out of. Maybe Hortensia had a point. She went to get a bowl, but stopped. It felt too wrong. Matilda bit her lip. She didn’t like being bad unless she had to. “What? What is it?” “I don’t want to get in trouble.” Matilda mumbled. She had been fighting with Jenny on and off most of the summer, but things were finally good. She liked not being in the spotlight. No one was bothering her here. No one was interrupting her to ask what she was reading or marvel at her. Hortensia rolled her eyes. “You’re. Not. Alone.” Hortensia repeated. Matilda sighed. She’d feel better if she called and asked just in case. “Seriously?” Hortensia asked as she reached for the phone. “Where’s the fun in that?” “Fun?” Matilda scrunched up her face in confusion. “Getting in trouble isn’t fun for me.” “Not the getting in trouble part; it’s about the thrill of getting in trouble if you get caught.” “That just gives me heart palpitations.” She shook her head as Hortensia began to ask what that was as she dialed the number for the school. She had never needed the phone book. She only needed to see the number once in order to memorize it. “I’m entering it into our database now.” Jenny would say as she held up a piece of paper with a name and phone number for Matilda to see. A voice answered on the third ring, not her mom, but someone from the office. Naomi Stevens, 43, worked in the school office for thirteen years, and had the loudest speaking voice Matilda had ever heard. “Hello, Mrs. Steven’s, could I please speak to my mom?” She forced a smile out of habit which earned her an odd look. “Oh, Matilda! Hi, sweetheart! I heard you’re not feeling well! I hope someone’s there taking good care of you.” Watching out for her? She stared at the girl whose finger was currently knuckle deep into her left nostril. “Something like that.” Matilda said. “And I’m feeling fine, but thank you for your concern.” “Oh, always so polite.” Naomi squealed so loudly Hortensia could hear. She rolled her eyes. Hortensia didn’t like anyone from the office. She said they treated her poorly, but that was probably only because she was rude to them first. “Oh, is your mom’s boyfriend there?” Matilda scowled. “Uh, no, Hortensia. And I’m watching her.” “Hey!” Hortensia complained. Matilda grinned at her. “Hortensia? You don’t mean… Hortensia Smith?” Naomi said, sounding on guard. Matilda held a fist to her lips to keep from laughing. “No, I mean Hortensia Biedrzycki.” No one ever attempted to say her legal last name. “Yes, her.” Naomi said before tutting. “What’s she doing at your house?” “Umm, she lives here.” “She lives there?” “Yeah, she’s kind of my foster sister now, or something. Mom’s her guardian.” “Oh, is she now?” Matilda winced. She didn’t realize the office didn’t already know. She could hear the piqued interest in her voice. Matilda could picture Naomi waving the other women over and pointing at the phone in her hand as they eagerly hung on her every word. Only Naomi burst out laughing. Matilda stared at the phone in confusion before putting it back to her ear. “You're so well behaved you’ve lured your mum into thinking raising kids is easy, and now she thinks she can handle Mnt. Everest.” Matilda snickered. “So that’s why you haven’t been here? Is she sick?” “It’s complicated.” Matilda said. She didn’t fully understand what was going on, and Jenny had forbidden her from asking Hortensia any questions even though she was dying to probe. After a few more moments of polite back and forth, Naomi finally transferred her call. “Matilda, is everything okay?” Her mom sounded worried. “Mom! I’m really sorry bu-” “What? What is it? Is Hortensia okay?” “What?” She looked at Hortensia who stared back at her looking puzzled. “She’s fine, but I think I accidentally told Naomi she’s living with us before you did.” “Oh.” Her mom let out a relieved breath and a shaky laugh. “That’s okay, it’s not like it’s a big secret. What’s up?” “Well, since Hortensia’s here, and I’m not alone, I wanted to know if I could cook something?” There was a pause. “What were you going to make?” “A quiche.” Another pause followed by a drawn out sigh. Matilda grimaced. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked. “That sounds so much better than my leftovers.” “I could bring you some.” Matilda offered. A little bribery wouldn’t hurt. “No, you don’t have to do that.” A pause. “Would you?Do you think she’s okay to leave the house? Put her on the phone.” Matilda handed her the phone and gave her a thumbs up before getting to work. “I’m fine.” Hortensia said. Matilda peeked over her shoulder occasionally as she mixed the ingredients. She had gone quiet for a minute, only breaking up the silence with the occasional “okay” or “fine.” Eventually, she handed the phone back. “Make sure you hold her hand when crossing the street.” Jenny said. Matilda rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay.” “I mean it. It’s for both your girls' safety. If she spaces out, you’ll need to guide her by the hand.” Matilda’s eyes briefly flicked over to her. She had seen Hortensia do that a couple of times since she had moved back in. She’d stop whatever it was she was doing and go rigid. It was…odd. She had never seen her do that before. She wouldn’t respond to anyone. Jenny usually took her upstairs for a bit until she snapped out of it. “What do I do if that happens?” “Call me.” “How do you usually snap her out of it? Does she come to on her own or…?” “Just…” Jenny said. “Call me if anything happens and I’ll try and come home.” “Okay.” Matilda said with a shrug. “And don’t forget to take a nap this afternoon.” Matilda clenched her jaw in annoyance. “But make sure the oven’s off before you do. Triple check please.” “Hortensia’s more likely to blow up the house.” Matilda grumbled. “We should give her cooking lessons.” Jenny said. “Oh, and maybe she could teach you how to draw.” “Oh no, I need both hands to make this quiche, I’m going to have to let you go.” Matilda said. “Ha. Ha. Okay, be safe. Call me if anything happens. I love you both.” “Love you too, bye.” Matilda hung up and shook her head. “She wants to teach you how to cook. You’ll blow the house up.” “I will not.” “Or poison us.” “I will not.” “Tsp and Tbsp aren’t the same thing!” “I know that much!” “They’ll find our corpses when they don’t hear from Jenny, half eaten cookies in all of our hands.” Hortensia pursed her lips together, but couldn’t keep back a chuckle at the image. “Is there even an ingredient I can mess up on that would cause that?” “Hmm, not unless you added something you weren’t supposed to, like arsenic, or cyanide, but that would be premeditated murder, not an accident.” “I meant like, if I misread and added too much of something? Could that kill us all?” “I think you’d have to purposely be trying to kill us. At worst, you’d make us all sick, with salmonella or something. There was a guy who got cockroach poison and saltpeter confused and killed a whole floor of patients in a mental hospital once during World War 2.” Hortensia made a face. “Then there’s Jim Jones, of course.” “Uhh, yes, of course….who’s that?” “You know, the cult leader from the 80’s who convinced over 800 people to drink poisoned Kool-Aid.” “Why do you know this?” Hortensia asked. “I read.” Hortensia narrowed her eyes. “And not from one of those boring documentaries on the History channel I keep catching you watching?” Matilda opened her mouth to retort, but shut it again. “Ha! See, you do like the telly.” “One channel,” Matilda mumbled. “Of course, you’d have to like the most boring channel on the network.” “History isn’t boring. You want boring; I’ll give you boring.” She hopped off the step stool and ran for the remote. Zinnia’s favorite. The Home Shopping Network. It would be on for hours! How anyone could sit and watch an hour straight about a purse… When she turned on the telly, it was a news report, the same one from this morning. She had been so busy with school work she hadn’t been paying attention, but now she stood and watched with rapt attention. No matter how many times Matilda had pestered Jenny, she had refused to tell her what exactly had happened. Something about a camp? She knew the gist of it, but as she listened to the news broadcast, the missing pieces fell into place. “I thought you were making food?” Hortensia asked, sticking her head out from the kitchen. “Is that what happened to you?” Matilda couldn’t stop herself from asking. Hortensia averted her eyes and shrugged. “I don’t know.” she mumbled. “How do you not know?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Hortensia said. “Food!” “Let me finish wa-” Matilda stopped. The telly flicked itself off. “Food.” Hortensia repeated. Matilda looked for the remote, but it was still beside her. Had she sat on it? Or had the telly burnt out? She shrugged it off and stood before making her way over to the Scrabble board on the coffee table to play a quick word. The only person who could beat her was herself. The air was tense between them when Matilda got back to work on cooking. Every attempt at conversations was met with one word answers. Hortensia seemed to be lost in thought, but at least she hadn’t gone catatonic. “Are you okay?” Matilda asked as they sat across from each other at the table each with a piece of quiche. She had done it now. She had brought up the topic she had been forbidden from asking and now Matilda was desperate to make amends. “I’m fine.” Hortensia growled at her. “Quit it.” Her brain searched for something. Anything. “What do you think of Brian?” she blurted out. Hortensia shrugged. Matilda noticed she wasn’t eating. “And you’re okay with walking to the school?” Hortensia shrugged again. “Rescue me from them!” “From who?” “The office ladies!” At this, Hortensia’s eyes finally seemed to focus on her. “Pft, I don’t see them being bitchy to you.” “It’s worse than that!” “I don’t believe you.” ….. “Oh, Matilda! How sweet! You’re such a good girl coming over and bringing your mommy lunch!” Naomi squealed. Matilda’s eyes drifted to Hortensia and gave her a look that said, ‘see?’. “Uh, yeah, I’m going to go see my mom now. Have a nice day, Mrs. Stephens” Matilda said. “She’s so cute!” They both could hear as they headed towards the back of the office. “Where do you think you're going without permission?” Another voice boomed. The girls stopped in their tracks at a new voice behind them. Mrs. Henderson, the third year teacher. “To Miss Honey’s office.” Matilda said. The woman waved her away. “No, I know you are sweetheart, I mean you.” She gestured at Hortensia, “Why aren’t you in class? Let me see your hall pass!” the woman demanded. “I don’t have one. I haven’t-” “Detention!” Mrs. Henderson roared. “But I’m not-” “Do you want to make it two?” “I haven’t even-” “Another word out of your mouth and it will be three!” Hortensia’s shoulders slumped forward in defeat. Mrs. Henderson let out a “hmph” before pushing past. Matilda burst into giggles. “You’ve been here for less than a minute and you already have detention.” Hortensia grumbled something unintelligible under her breath. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell Jenny what happened.” Hortensia looked like she had eaten something sour. They could hear whispering all around them. “She looks terrible.” Matilda craned her neck around. Mrs. Stephens and Mrs. Alto were huddled together staring at the two of them. “What do you think she’s sick with? Do you think she’s contagious? Did she say what was wrong with her?” “I was hoping she got expelled.” “Sush, I think she can hear you.” “You’re one to talk, loud mouth.” Matilda stopped walking and stared at them. They weren’t even trying to keep their voices down. She felt something heavy crash into the back of her. Hortensia hadn’t noticed she had stopped walking and collided with her, sending her crashing to the ground. Her eyes began to water from the shock of it. That was when the shouting started. “MISS HONEY’S OFFICE! NOW!” It was Mrs. Phelps this time, Hortensia’s teacher. She’d at least have noticed Hortensia’s absence, but the old woman had grabbed Hortensia by the back of her shirt and began pushing her forward like a prisoner. Matilda pushed herself up and staggered after them. What could she possibly be in trouble for now? At least Hortensia had been the one carrying the quiche, although Matilda could have done without getting smacked in the back of the head by the tray. When they turned the corner, she could see her mom coming out of her office. “Jennifer!” Mrs. Phelps said, a stern angry note in her voice that made Matilda cower despite not even being the one in trouble. “I just saw this one push your kid to the ground. You going to do something about her now?” Miss Honey’s eyes shifted from Hortensia to Matilda. “It was an acc-” Matilda tried to say, but the accusation had set Hortensia off. “I did not shove her, you blind old bat!” Matilda inwardly sighed. She always made things worse for herself. “Tens, stop.” Miss Honey said. She raised and lowered her palms in a settle down gesture, but this only seemed to infuriate her more. “What are you telling me to stop for? She’s accusing me of things I didn’t do! Again!” Hortensia had often said the school had it out for her, usually resulting in Matilda rolling her eyes. But now that she had seen how everyone treated her she was starting to wonder. “It was an accident. I stopped in front of her.” Matilda said. Mrs. Phelps turned to glare at her. “Do not interrupt me, young lady! I won’t hesitate to put you in detention with her. Children should not correct adults.” The shock of the threat was enough to reduce Matilda to tears. She had never been in trouble at school before. “Girls, go wait for me in my office.” Miss Honey said. So they waited. And waited. And waited. “Should have just made sandwiches.” Matilda mumbled. “Not like you ate any of it anyway.” At this, Hortensia peeled back the seal on the dish and cut herself out a small piece. “Happy?” Hortensia said through a mouth full. “Why don’t you eat anymore?” Matilda asked. She had witnessed her mom practically force feeding her since she had come back. They had gone from joking about enrolling her in a hot dog eating contest just to feed her lunch to not being allowed up from the table until she ate at least half a serving. “I’m not hungry.” Hortensia said. She was staring at the sliver in her hand. “Do I have to eat this?” “Do you not like it?” “I do. I just don’t enjoy food anymore.” Matilda frowned in thought. “Why? Is it the taste?” Hortensia shook her head. “The texture?” She shook her head again. “Do you think you’re fat? Are you anorexic? Is that why you’ve lost so much weight?” “What, no? I haven’t lost weight.” “You look like a zombie. Maybe you’re turning into a zombie. People food isn’t doing it for you anymore because you crave braaaiiinnnssss.” She stuck her arms out in front of her and mimed walking like the living dead. A hint of a smile appeared at the corners of Hortensia’s lips. “Maybe I should start with yours since it’s so big.” “No, no. Mine hasn’t fully formed yet, it isn’t ripe. You need a mature brain, like Mrs. Phelps.” Hortensia’s face soured. “Eww, that’s too old. It’s probably gone bad. What do you want to bet her brain looks like a shriveled nut sack?” “Eww.” Matilda said, before pausing in thought. “Is everyone always this mean to you?” She asked, changing the subject. Hortensia shrugged. “How do you deal with it?” Matilda was still shaken up. She had thought things would be better with the Trunchbull gone, that perhaps they were only cruel under her orders, but now she could see that was only wishful thinking. Nothing had changed. Mrs. Stephens and the other ladies in the office had seen what had happened and yet, none had come forward in Hortensia’s defense. Not with Mrs. Henderson and not with Mrs. Phelps. Matilda had tried to stick up for her, but it had only made things worse. Would Jenny make the situation right? Could she? Even if she was the boss, she often took a backseat to arguments, couldn’t handle confrontation. She hadn’t said anything to Mrs. Phelps when she had lashed out at her, had merely told them to wait in her office, and that had been, what? 20 minutes ago? What if Matilda had been in the wrong? What if she came back fuming at her for making Jenny look bad? “I’ve never been in trouble with the teachers before.” Matilda mumbled. With Jenny, sure. Matilda was self aware enough even at her age to know she could be…how did Jenny put it…stubbornly willful. Hortensia often called her a fucking know it all. Matilda liked to make up words that sounded like insults to hurl at her when they were fighting and giggle when she couldn’t find them in the dictionary. Once she had even made up a country when Hortensia demanded to know what language she was speaking. Matilda had even gone as far as to convince Brian’s kids to call her an “ovalarskin” and then look at her like she was dumb when she asked what that was. But damn it, she was her “ovalarskin” and she was feeling angry to see her so mistreated by all the adults around her. “That’s because they think you’re a little angel.” Hortensia said sarcastically. “With your ‘yes ma'ams’, and ‘please’.” “You get farther with them if you’re polite.” Matilda said. “But I think nice Matilda needs a break now.” Hortensia’s eyebrows went up. “Have you ever been in a hardware store before?” “Of course i’ve been in a hardware store. I don’t live under a rock.” “Did you know they sell li-” Matilda stopped talking as the door opened and Miss Honey entered looking exhausted and stressed. Without saying a word to either of them she unwrapped the quiche, cut herself out a large slice and collapsed into her chair. “I needed this.” She groaned through a mouthful. No one said anything as Miss Honey scarfed down nearly half the pan single handedly. Finally, she swiped at the crumbs coating her desk and brushed them into her hand. Matilda was starting to think she was going to eat those too, but she dumped them into the trashcan by her desk. She stared at the two of them and sighed. “What happened out there?” “That bi-” Hortensia started to say before Matilda cut in. “Maybe I should say, before you get yourself in trouble.” Hortensia let out an annoyed breath before waving her hand and motioning for her to talk. “They’ve been going after her since the moment we got here.” Matilda said. “Mrs. Henderson gave her a detention when Hortensia didn’t have a hall pass, and then another when she tried to explain why she didn’t have one. She didn’t let her say anything! Then the office kept gossiping about her like she wasn’t even there. I was so surprised when one of them said ‘I had hoped she had gotten expelled’ I stopped walking and Hortensia must have bumped into me. That’s when Mrs. Phelps started yelling at her about pushing me. Am I really going to have a detention? I didn’t mean to talk back, it’s just, no one was defending her at all and it made me mad!” “No, no one’s getting detention.” Miss Honey said before sighing. “I did have a long talk with the women in the office. Mrs. Stephens admitted it was only an accident.” “Then why didn’t she say that to begin with?” Hortensia said, throwing her hands in the air. “She saw the whole thing with Mrs. Henderson too!” “Matilda, how’s your head? I heard you got smacked pretty good.” “Hurts.” Matilda whimpered, rubbing the back of her head. In truth, Mrs. Phelps had caused her more grief than the dish to the back of the scalp, but she wasn’t about to admit that in front of Hortensia. Miss Honey gave her a sympathetic smile. “How about you go see Mrs. Rogers and get some ice. Oh, and bring this. See if she wants any.” She said before adding under her breath, “Before I eat it all.” Matilda giggled despite knowing she was being kicked out. She hadn’t seen her mom eat so much since she had gotten high. She obediently slipped out of the chair, grabbed the dish, and left the office. … “Now,” Miss Honey said once they were alone. She stared at Hortensia. “In your own words, tell me what happened.” “Bi-” “Without swearing.” “You said ‘in my own words’.” she grumbled before sighing. “No one wants me here. Do I have to come back?” “I think it’s still too soon.” Miss Honey said. “You’re still not eating and you still…” Miss Honey frowned in thought. “You’re not ready.” “I still what?” Hortensia asked. “You’re not yourself yet. I might have you do lessons here with Matilda for a bit, before I send you back to class. You’ve got some catching up to do. But when you are ready to come back, there will be some changes. In fact, starting now there will be changes.” Her tone had gone sharp. Hortensia sank down in her seat like a child being scolded. “I called a staff meeting while you girls were waiting. I made it very clear to them they will not be treating you like a criminal any longer. This is a school; not a prison. You are a child; not an inmate. Whatever happened between you and any member of this staff is in the past and they are to treat you like a new student with a clean slate.” “Like that’ll happen.” Horrtensia said sarcastically. “That goes for you as well, Tens. I want this to be an opportunity for you to start over. I know you’re a good kid. You are intelligent, brave, and a good big sister.” “I’m not smart.” Hortensia mumbled looking away. “You have picked up math faster than I thought possible this summer.” “A six-year-old can do it.” Hortensia said morosely. “You can’t compare yourself to Matilda, she’s in a completely different league than anyone I have or probably will ever meet. She operates on a different wavelength than the rest of us. We’re all tuned into AM/FM stations and she's broadcasting out to space. I’m not here to talk about Matilda though, I want to talk about you.” Hortensia shrugged. “I guess.” she mumbled. “Tens,” Miss Honey said, “Please look at me.” Hortensia slowly lifted her head and locked eyes with her. “I can neither make you let go of all the anger inside of you, nor can I ask you to. I can only warn you of what harboring hate for years will turn you into it. You’ve seen it in my aunt. I can not take away the pain or damage, although I desperately wish I could. I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish I could stop everything from happening to you, but I can’t. I’m only human. What I can offer you is love and a place in my mismatched, pieced together family. You’ll always be welcome, but you have a choice to make. It wasn’t fair what happened to you. It wasn’t fair what happened to you and it wasn’t fair what happened to me. You can silently hold on to this hate and let it make you bitter and cruel. Or you can take all this pain no one should have had to experience and channel it.” Jennifer reached into her desk drawer and pulled something out. Hortensia looked away as her shoulders slumped. “You want me to stop fighting with the teachers. I get it.” She grumbled. “No.” Jennifer said. Hortensia looked up at her confused. “I want you to fight them. I want you to be the biggest pain in their arse you can be.” Hortensia stared at her flabbergasted as Jennifer held out her palm to reveal a small golden letter “P” pin. “You’re crazy.” Hortensia said, looking from the pin to her. Jennifer laughed. “Who I want you to stop fighting with is the other students. Not everyone here has the courage to speak up for themselves. You know better than anyone how infuriating being treated unfairly can be. Now this doesn’t mean you get to unleash an army of ladybugs in a classroom because someone got their recess taken away for being late.” “I only did that one time.” Hortensia said. “And Mrs. Henderson is still finding dead ladybugs in her classroom three years later.” Jennifer said, causing Hortensia to snicker. “Where did you even get that many lady bugs from?” “You can buy them in a bag at the hardware store.” Jennifer shook her head. She remembered that day. It was her first year teaching and the sound of Mrs. Henderson’s screams had abruptly put a stop to story time. Jennifer had been appalled to hear that kind of language coming from a teachers mouth, and aimed at a student no less. “First you let me break things with a bat, and now you want me to talk back to the teachers?” “Within reason.” Jennifer pointed out. “That does not mean you get to call anyone names. I’ll be having this talk with all the prefects.” Hortensia stared down at the pin in her hand, closely examining it as she twirled it back and forth between her fingers. “I’ll just get in more trouble.” Hortensia mumbled. “They’ll give me detention the moment I open my mouth.” “And if you do and I find it unjustified I’ll over ride it.” Jennifer said. “But if I find out you called anyone a ‘bitch’ or ‘hag’ you better believe you’ll be serving whatever punishment they dish out. You can disagree with someone and still be respectful about it. But if I find out your abusing your position, I’ll take that pin right back.” Hortensia stared at the pin before holding it back out to her. Jennifer shook her head. “Keep it and think it over. I trust you.” And she did. She had discovered something interesting over the summer about her. The more she was treated like a delinquent, the more she acted like one. And being on hall moniter duty would give her additional time on her feet and a chance to expel the extra pent up energy that made her so disruptive in the classroom. “Any questions?” Hortensia didn’t respond, only stared down at her hand which was now empty. Jennifer craned her neck around her desk to see the pin on the ground, but Hortensia made no move to pick it up, only sat perfectly still and stared. “Hortensia?” Nothing. “Tens? Are you alright?” Jennifer turned her head sideways and put her head on her desk to look into Hortensia’s eyes. Blank. She was having one of her fits, which meant…. A wet gurgling sound soon followed. “Ah.” They would have to get to the bottom of this before Jennifer felt comfortable sending her back to class. She stood and made her way before lightly touching the girls shoulder. “Tens, can you hear me?” Nothing. She gave her shoulder a light shake. She didn’t react in the slightest. Jennifer gently lifted her face by the chin and it stayed there when she let go, eyes staring straight ahead at her, but there was nothing in them. She had gone someplace else, someplace safe. That’s what her psychiatrist said anyway. She hoped whatever this was was temporary. Jennifer picked up Hortensia’s backpack, hoping she had packed what Jennifer had asked her to. Good. There was a spare nappy. She pulled it out and rummaged around some more pushing aside empty bags of chips. Jennifer stared at them curiously for a moment. They were all cut open, laid out and looked like they had been cleaned. Hortensia had been saving them for some reason. They hadn’t been there before the hospital, but they hadn’t come from home. Jennifer tried not to keep too much junk in the house as she had found her own clothing becoming a little more snug than she was comfortable with. She wondered briefly where she had gotten them from, but it was a mystery for another time. At least she was eating something. She dug around a bit longer before checking the front pocket. There they were! Gloves! Or more like glove. She frowned. Only one. And no creams or wipes. “Looks like we’re going to Carol’s office.” “Looks like we’re going to Carol’s office.” Hortensia repeated in a flat monotone voice. Jennifer stared at her. “Hortensia? Are you awake?” “Are you awake?” “Can you hear me?” “Can you hear me?” Hortensia mimicked. Jennifer stared at her in surprise. This was… new. She waved a hand in front of her face before snapping her fingers. Hortensia didn’t react, just stared straight ahead with the same dead eyed expression. She put the nappy back where she had found it and slung the pack over her shoulder. She hoisted Hortensia up by the arms into a standing position before linking an arm with hers. Jennifer hated the idea of parading her through the office like this, but she wanted Carol to see. She ignored the curious glances as she slowly guided Hortensia through the busy front office, out the door, and across the hall where she found Matilda talking with Lavender. “Hi, Miss Honey!” Lavender called. “Hi, Miss Honey.” Hortensia repeated. The girls stared at her. “Is it recess?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia echoed the question. Lavender nodded, still staring curiously at the older girl. “Matilda, how about you and Lavender go out and play. I’ve got something I need to take care of. I’ll be a bit.” “I’ll be a bit.” Matilda looked from Jennifer, to Hortensia, and then back to Jennifer. “O-okay?” Matilda said, sounding more like a question than a statement. “Why are you repeating what we say?” “...what we say.” Lavender giggled thinking it was a game, but Matilda furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t know.” Jennifer answered truthfully earning herself an echo. “She’ll come to in a bit. Go play.” “Go play.” Matilda stared at them a moment longer before turning and heading out to the playground with Lavender. “Jennifer, thanks for the food!” Carol said, looking up from her book as they walked inside. “Thanks for the food.” Hortensia muttered. “You know if she gives up on being a doctor, a chef could be a good second.” “A chef could be a good second.” “See, she agrees with me.” “She agrees with me.” Carol rolled her eyes. “A little too old to be mimicking people.” Hortensia repeated her admonishment. “Problem.” Jennifer mouthed over her head and pointed at her. Carol stared at her curiously before wrinkling her face. She covered her nose and waved a hand in front of her face. “She usually zones out when she has an accident, but now she’s repeating everything she hears.” Jennifer whispered in Carol’s ear. Carol looked Hortensia over for a moment. “Are you sure she’s not messing around?” “Are you sure she’s not messing around?” Jennifer nodded and bit her lip. There was no life in her eyes, and the way she repeated everything in a flat monotone pitch… Something about it made the hair on Jennifer’s arms rise. It was unsettling. Carol leaned down in Hortensia’s face and began to make silly gestures, even going so far as to stick up her middle finger, something Jennifer didn’t appreciate, but Hortensia failed to react at all. “Hortensia? Can you hear me?” Carol asked before receiving an echo in reply. Carol frowned before shrugging. “Does she usually snap out of it on her own?” “Once I change her. Can I have some wipes and gloves? She packed a spare but nothing to clean her with.” “Have you ever let her stay like this and see if she wakes up on her own?” Jennifer nodded and held up a single finger. Never again. “What happened?” “Started screaming like she was having one of her fits, but more…” Jennifer frowned trying to come up with the right words. “Like a toddler having a meltdown.” Feet, arms, fists, legs and poo flying every which way. “It’s better to take care of it before it gets to that point. I have to manually move her, but she’ll stay that way, see.” Jennifer lifted up Hortensia’s arm and it stayed in the air. Carol’s expression turned grim. She looked like she wanted to say something, but shook her head and went to retrieve the supplies. When Jennifer finished, she came back out to find Carol combing through a very large volume. It was the same one she often caught Matilda going through, the nursing textbook with all the graphic pictures. “Has she come to yet?” Carol asked without looking up. “Takes a bit usually, ten minutes at most, but she’s often very disoriented. I try and be there when she wakes up.” “Have you talked to her doctor about this?” “Yes, her psychiatrist says her spacing out is a trauma response.” But Carol shook her head. “That’s not ‘spacing out’.” She slid the book over so Jennifer could read the paragraph. She bent down and read the headline. Akinetic Catatonia. She breezed though the article, not understanding half the medical jargon, but stopped when she saw the list of symptoms. “What’s negavatism?” Jennifer asked as she read through the list. She didn’t like how much this sounded like her. She liked the treatment and causes even less. Schitzophrenia? Brain tumors? Electro convulsive therapy? “You saw how she didn’t respond when I was making faces and talking to her.” Jennifer pinched the bridge of her nose and slid the book back. “Jen, she might need inpatient care.” “No.” Jennifer said. “I am not leaving her at some mental hospital and wiping my hands of her. She’s a child!” “I’m not saying drop her off and forget about her, it’s just something you might need to consider. She needs help.” “And i’m getting her help.” She could feel herself growing defensive. She took a deep breath. “It could be as simple as a change in medication. I’m only talking worst case scenario, i’m not a psychiatrist.” Carol said. They both looked up at the sound of rustling plastic. She was coming to. Jennifer went to her side as Hortensia slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position. “Easy. Easy.” Jennifer whispered as Hortensia wobbled and held her head in her hands. “Do you know where you are?” Carol asked. Hortensia nodded. “Do you know how you got here?” Hortensia nodded again. “Can you speak?” “Yes.” She mumbled before staring at Jennifer. And then she said something that made her stomach drop. “You’re poisoning me.”
  2. Her mom was crying. Hortensia’s mind was going blank from the stress. She sat across from her at a table in the prison visiting center. “Why didn’t you tell me?” her mom asked, doing what she had referred to as “ugly crying”. Hortensia sank down, glad for the nappies extra cushion on the hard bench seats. She was trying to hide her watering eyes. She didn’t want to do this in front of everyone. Miss Honey, Brian, Matilda, Hazel, Zach, Nick, Aiden, Cynthia, Mrs. Rodgers and a police woman with a notepad were all here, having a “brainstorming session.” It was her moms idea, like a police interrogation with everyone, all at once, pointing fingers at each other and a cop taking notes. Her mom wanted to feel involved in the investigation and the warden allowed it given the “special circumstance”, so long as the officer in charge of the investigation was present. She wanted to meet them all before her transfer in two days. Wanted to meet Brian. And anyone else male Hortensia had been spending time with. All four of them had tested negative. She couldn’t believe her mom had made an eleven, and thirteen-year old get tested for an STD. Now everyone knew. And they demanded answers. Answers Hortensia didn’t have. “I don’t know.” Hortensia mumbled for what felt like the hundredth time. She looked down, chipping away at the fake wood table’s finish with her fingernail. “Sometimes, I just hurt.” There were specific times she could point to where something hadn’t been right. Like that summer a handful of years ago. She kept… sharting herself. That happened sometimes when she farted, but it had been happening worse than usual that summer. And her arse had been killing her. They had even sent her home from camp over it, and lectured her about her personal hygiene. “That’s why your fanny hurts so bad; you're sitting in poo and your skin got irritated.” The camp nurse had said. Her mother had not been happy to drive four hours round trip to pick her up. All because she’d been sharting herself and not wiping properly? But she couldn’t help it. The pain had been unbearable. She couldn’t stand the thought of one more hot and sticky, bug infested night in the forest. She couldn’t do any camp activities. She couldn’t sit for meals, and she couldn’t sleep. Finally, she had broken down in tears mid tennis match and demanded to go home. Everyone told her it was because she wasn’t wiping properly, but Hortensia had been sure the pain had started before the accidents. No one ever took her seriously. It made her blood boil. She had always wanted people to listen to her, and now that everyone was here hanging on her every word, Hortensia wanted to duck underneath the table and hide. This week had been humiliating. So many questions. So many people in her personal space. When would this all end? “You must have some idea!” her mom said. “I can’t.” Hortensia mumbled. “Tens, no matter what you say, you’re not going to get in trouble.” Jennifer said. “You wouldn’t believe me.” This meeting had been a mistake. Everyone had been at each other's throats. Her mom blamed Brian and Jennifer, Jennifer blamed Aiden, and Aiden and Cynthia blamed just Jennifer. “You’re the one who needs to be tested!” Cynthia shouted, pointing a finger at Miss Honey, who gawked. “I would never lay a hand on her!” Miss Honey hissed. “Never lay a hand on her?” Cynthia scoffed, “your hands have been all over her this whole time!” “That’s not the same thing!” Miss Honey argued, but Hortensia could feel Miss Honey remove her hand from her back just the same and put them under the table. Hortensia reached for it, and Miss Honey gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “What do you have against her?” Hortensia demanded. Cynthia looked surprised. They both gave Miss Honey dirty looks. “Why’d you make me beat up her car?” “Nobody made you beat up her car, you’re just refusing to take responsibility for your actions.” Cynthia said. “Aiden hit me in the face and told me if I didn’t make her quit he’d have the guards beat up mom!” “Oh, not this again!” Eve groaned. “It’s stories like this that make us not believe you.” “There’s no way for me to even get the guards to do that even if I wanted to. Your story telling needs work.” Aiden said, with his massive arms crossed across his ginormous chest. “Yeah it is! You could bribe them or something, I don’t know!” Hortensia said. “With what money? My business just went under!” “There was a day we found Hortensia with a bloody lip right before the incident with my car.” Miss Honey said. “I had assumed it was a teacher she had had an altercation with, but the teacher denied it.” “And we saw you at her house right before she went mental.” A voice threw out. All eyes turned to Zach and Nick who had remained quiet until now. “He’s the massive bloke we saw fighting with her.” Nick chimed in. “No! Th-that wasn’t me!” Aiden said. “How many 300 pound Islander men are there in this town?” Mrs. Rodgers asked. “Quite a few.” Cynthia growled. “His whole extended family is here!” “So you're throwing your own family under the bus?” Mrs. Rodgers asked, eyebrows raised. Cynthia went quiet. “I’d like to know what you have against Jenny as well. This whole time you’ve been dragging her through the mud. It feels personal.” Hortensia could see her mom’s eyes flicker between her and Aiden. “You were telling the truth?” Eve asked so quietly, Hortensia wouldn’t have heard if she hadn’t been staring directly at her. Hortensia nodded. She turned to Aiden. “Why did you tell my daughter to break Jennifer’s car?” “You can’t believe this garbage, Eve, you know how she is. She has those temper tantrums and loses control.” Aiden said. “And I didn’t tell her to break her car!” “They saw you there.” Eve said. “You aren’t someone who can be easily mistaken.” “I was just there checking up on her, and she got mouthy.” “So you hit her in the face?” Eve asked. “A spanking I could understand, but…” “It was a slap! Open palm!” Aiden said. “She was bleeding.” Miss Honey said, glaring daggers at him. “My ring must have caught her lip.” Aiden mumbled. Her mom stared at both Aiden and Cynthia as if seeing them for the first time. “Honey, what did Aiden tell you, exactly?” “He told me if I helped him get rid of Miss Honey he could keep you from getting transferred, and if I didn’t, you’d get hurt.” “Why?” Eve asked him. Hortensia could see the cop in the corner furiously scribbling down their conversation. “Because she’s a dyke who shouldn’t be allowed to run a school full of children!” Cynthia spat. “All that work to get rid of the first dyke, only to get replaced by another!” The room went silent. “Why does everyone think I’m a lesbian?” Miss Honey asked. “Everyone knows you had an incestuous relationship with your aunt!” Cynthia said. “My aunt abused me!” “You know,” Mrs. Rodgers said calmly. “ I really have my doubts that Jennifer's sexual orientation has anything to do with this. See, the only reason you’d know Jenny was being abused is if you saw a certain letter they found in your best friend’s safe. So either you helped Eve blackmail Agatha Trunchbull, or you two are the ones who did and framed your best friend. How about you tell us about this company that went under? You wouldn’t happen to be in the publishing business, would you?” Hortensia could see the color drain from both of their faces. “What was that company called again?” “A.C.R Publishing.” Miss Honey said. “Ah, yes, and that wouldn’t happen to stand for Aiden and Cynthia Redding Publishing, would it?” Mrs. Rodgers asked. “We don’t have to sit here and take this bullshit anymore!” Cynthia shouted. They both stood up. “No, my mistake.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “It’s not Aiden and Cynthia Redding Publishing, is it? It’s Aiden and Christopher Redding Publishing.” She pulled a folded up piece of paper out of her pocket and tossed it on the table. “Jennifer, did you know there’s this thing called the internet where you can look up almost anything? Like businesses, and criminal records.” Hortensia picked up the piece of paper and blanched. It was a mugshot of a familiar looking man. “You leave my brother out of this! He’s turned his life around!” Aiden shouted. Cynthia was trying to pull him away by the arm. “Hortensia, what was it you were going to say?” Jennifer whispered in her ear. “You said, you didn’t think anyone would believe you? Now’s the time to say it.” Hortensia nodded, took a deep breath, and shouted to be heard over the arguing. “Do you remember that time you sent me to summer camp?” Everyone stared at her. Hortensia sank down in her seat. “When you had to drive four hours to come pick me up because my arse hurt.” she mumbled. “I remember that!” Eve said, but then frowned. “You don’t think it happened there, do you?” “I don’t know.” Hortensia said at the table, but it was her best guess. “I just woke up after the first night hurting.” “Camp Summercrest?” Matilda asked. Hortensia stared at her. “How’d you know?” “There was a shirt for it in the lost and found box. I was wearing it when you had to take me home that one time when I…” Hortensia let out a weak chuckle. She saw Miss Honey reach for the paper next. “It’s him.” Miss Honey said, dropping the paper as if it burned her. “Who is he?” “His brother.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “And?” she was staring at Hortensia and motioning with her hand for her to continue. “The youth pastor at our church.” Suddenly the room exploded in a cacophony of voices. Her mom and Cynthia were screaming at each other. Aiden had run. The cop taking notes was yelling for guards to stop him. Hortensia put her hands over her ears. She wanted to go home. Her stomach cramped. She could feel the nappy filling with hot liquid and she began to cry. … “You did good, sweetheart.” Jennifer said. “I know it’s hard to answer all those questions, but I’m so proud of you for being brave.” They had just gotten back from a real police interrogation where they both gave victim testimonies. She wiped her hands clean with a wet wipe and bunched up the soiled nappy before tossing it into a garbage bag. “I don’t remember.” Hortensia said. “I do.” Jennifer whispered. She knew he was the one who had assaulted her all those years ago. “There’s something called DNA. When you were in the hospital, and they did all those invasive tests, they took samples from you. They found male DNA inside you, and they’re going to test it against the samples they took from him.” “Okay.” Hortensia said softly. “And you know who else is in a lot of trouble?” Jennifer said, a slight grin on her face. “Cynthia and Aiden.” Hortensia smiled slightly. All thanks to Hortensia’s drawings. Jennifer had finally peeked at copies of them at the police station, but they hadn’t been what Jennifer had expected. They were horrific, but it wasn’t a story of Hortensia’s abuse, it was of Billy’s. The story featured a young blonde girl riding on her daddy’s shoulders. She liked being up high, and being able to see things she wouldn’t normally see. Like the inside of vehicles. And as the father and daughter were walking down the street, the little girl noticed something strange. “Daddy, what’s he doing with Billy?” The little girl asked. The tall, blonde haired man looked to where she’d pointed. He quickly removed her off her shoulder and put her on the ground. “Run home as fast as you can.” The man said. The little girl ran, but not home. She ran behind another car and watched. She saw her daddy nearly rip the door open and drag the man out. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Her daddy screamed. But the man pulled something black out of his pocket. There was a loud bang and suddenly, her daddy was on the ground. There was a red puddle forming around him. He stared up at her with wide vacant eyes, with a hole in his face. One of his eyes was gone. Jennifer knew that face well. She had seen it all over the pages of notebooks. The strange man did not know the girl was watching him. He was panicking. The man was large and strong, just like his brother. He picked up her daddy and threw him in the back of his truck along with Billy and covered them with a tarp. Then he got out and walked across the street to a familiar looking house. Aiden’s house. Hortensia had witnessed her father’s murder as a very small child. Too young to understand what she had just seen, but traumated none the less. Jennifer sighed and laid down on the bed next to her before wrapping her in a tight hug. “I’m going to miss you when you go back home.” Jennifer said. “You’re like my second daughter.” “You think mom will get out?” “As long as she doesn’t follow up on her threats to hit Cynthia over the head with a crowbar.” Jennifer said. “Speaking of…” she let go of the girl and rolled onto her feet. She offered Hortensia a hand up. “I have a surprise for you in the backyard.” Jennifer led her out blindfolded to where Brian, Matilda, Hazel, Zach and Nick all stood around eagerly before removing the blindfold. Hortensia looked around, frowning in confusion. “My surprise is a junkyard?” Hortensia asked with a laugh. The backyard was covered in tarps, and on them was a mismatched assortment of broken tellies, cracked statues, chipped vases, and other damaged items. “Yep.” Jennifer said, a wide smile on her face. She picked up a pair of safety goggles and put them on Hortensia’s face. “You’ve been going through so much, I figured you needed to blow off some steam by partaking in your favorite pastime of…” Jennifer handed her a bat. “breaking stuff.” Hortensia stared wide eyed at the array of junk and then at the bat. “You mean I get to…” Hortensia grinned. The first real smile Jennifer had seen in a long time. She gestured to the pile of junk. “Go nuts.” Jennifer watched the kids go nuts taking turns smashing things to bits. She even took a few swings herself before joining Brian on the patio. “Thank you for finding all this stuff.” Jennifer said. They had been going from yard sale to yard sale buying cheap, breakable looking items for the last month. “Half of it was in the dumpster behind the Salvation Army.” He grinned. Jennifer smiled at him before taking his hand. “I bet they won’t notice we’re gone.” She said. He chuckled and held her close for a moment. “What did you have in mind?” He asked. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “What is it?” “My test results.” She said. “If she can do it, so can I.” He took the paper and read it before grinning, eyebrows raised. “Were you afraid of needles?” “That was not a blood test.” She shuddered. He laughed and kissed her. “And what would my brave girl like to do?” “Everything.” she whispered. “Ana-” “Okay, maybe not everything.” He laughed and took her hand before kissing it. “You’ll tell me if you want to stop, right?” She nodded. He put his forehead to hers. “I love you, Jenny.” “I love you too.” she whispered before taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs. … “Thank you Rachel, that’s right. I’m standing in front of West Bishop Church off London Ave where a local youth pastor has been taken away in handcuffs. Residents in this town are in an uproar. The man in question, Christopher Redding, is under suspicion of using his position to commit sexual acts against children. An investigation was launched when one of the children in his congregation was brought in to the local hospital where she was found to have several injuries consistant with sexual assault and a high level of a unnamed prescription sedative in her system. Police investigated Mr. Redding after a tip from another victim where multiple bottles of this same medication were found in his possession. The police believe Mr. Redding was slipping the sedatives into the grape juice used for communion and giving them to pre-selected children. Now police are asking for the cooperation of the public. Parents who have attended this church are being asked to sit down and have a difficult conversation with their children. A special task force has been formed as numerous potential victims have begun to come forward. Other members of the Redding family have also been taken into custody at this time on suspicion of aiding and abetting, blackmail, falsifying official documents, hindering a police investigation, second-degree murder, and abuse of a child under fourteen. Police have also confirmed Mr. Redding has been named as the prime suspect of the slaying of the nearly half- dozen bodies found earlier this summer. Dubbed as the Buckinghamshire Boy Butcher for his preferred choice of victims, this serial killer has left the city gripped in terror over the summer, but tonight, that fear may finally be over. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families at this time. If convicted, the DA has announced he will be pushing for the death penalty. Back to you in the studio.” “Prayers? Psh, what a load of shi- Oww.” Hortensia grumbled and rubbed at the side of her head. Miss Honey turned off the tv. “Pay attention.” Matilda said, arms crossed across her chest. “Who left you in charge?” Hortensia grumbled. “I did.” Miss Honey said. “You’ve been out of school for a while, it’s time to catch up. I have to go to the office for a few hours. Poor Mr. Trilby’s been dragged out of retirement to help keep the place running since I’ve been gone.” “Where did your class leave off?” Hortensia pointed to a chapter. Matilda scoffed. “How were you only in chapter twelve? I’m going to graduate highschool before your class gets through this.” “Fine smarty pants, what chapter are you on?” Matilda scoffed again. “I finished that thing a month ago.” “A month ago? It hasn’t even been three full months into the school year. This is supposed to last all year. It’s a textbook.” “And this is why I pulled her out of the classroom.” Miss Honey said. “You guys were so slow!” Matilda groaned, her fingers dragging down her face for emphasis. “It was torture.” “You thought Mr. Larson’s class was slow?” Hortensia asked, eyebrows creased in disbelief before snorting. “What level of hell did you think you were in when you walked into Miss Honey’s class for the first time?” Hortensia chuckled. “The fourth.” Matilda admitted. “You didn’t like my classroom?” Miss Honey asked. “I did once you started giving me my own work to do, but those first few days.” Her eyes opened wide in mock horror. Miss Honey laughed. “I thought school was going to be educational. I walked in expecting to see the periodic table of elements, and got hit with the Abc’s.” “Maybe in high school. You couldn’t possibly have thought all the other runts were as smart as you?” Hortensia asked. Matilda shrugged. “I didn’t know I was smarter than them. It’s not like I had ever spent time with other kids my age.” Matilda said. “You had an older brother. Didn’t you see his homework?” Matilda scoffed. “As if he ever did his homework.” … Jennifer poked her head into Carol’s office. She was sitting at her desk staring down at a book. Jennifer knocked on the door as Carol slammed the book she was reading closed. “Jen, you’re back.” Carol said, a guilty smile on her face. “Slow day?” Jennifer laughed. She didn’t care if Carol was reading if it was slow. She wasn’t her boss. No wait, yes she was. “Two paper cuts and a crushed pinky finger.” Carol said with a shrug. “Not much to do without our problem child sending me skinned knees and bloody noses. How is she?” Jennifer sighed. “About as well as you can be going through something like that. Still incontinent though.” Jennifer said. “At least I’ve managed to get over it. Poor kid’s embarrassed enough without me gagging in front of her.” Carol grimaced. “At least she’s older and you don’t have to change nappies.” Jennifer grimaced. “Jen, she’s eleven-years-old. She is more than capable of cleaning up after herself.” Jennifer shook her head. “It’s complicated.” Jennifer said. “What’s complicated about it? Tell her where the cleaning supplies are. What are you babying her for?” Jennifer knitted her eyebrows together. “Because she isn’t capable of it.” Jennifer said. “The pain is gone, but it’s like her soul leaves her body the moment it happens. She’s like an empty shell until she’s clean. I have to literally lead her by the hand. She says she doesn’t remember the attacks, but our psychologist thinks the sensation of the sudden, involuntary, uh, pooping and the feeling of not being in control is triggering flashbacks.” “Her body remembers.” “Yeah, something like that.” Jennifer said. “It’s… hard to see her like this. ” “You’re like the Patron Saint of Lost Children.” Jennifer clenched her teeth. “I’d rather not be associated with any religion.” Rumors were spreading amongst the community of prior allegations. “They knew what he was doing with those kids. They were protecting him. Not the kids, but him.” “There’s more than a few people ready to scalp him.” Carol said. “Did you see that interview they aired of one of the parents?” “The one they had to bleep out every other word?” Jennifer asked with a slight smile. “He’s either getting lynched or murdered the moment the guards look away. He’ll get what’s coming to him. Even the other inmates don’t tolerate crimes against children.” “That’s what Brian said.” Jennifer said. Speaking of… She looked around the room. “Is there anyone here?” She whispered. Carol shook her head. “We, um…” Carol raised her eyebrows. “Had sex.” Jennifer mumbled. Carol grinned. She pushed a chair towards her. “You should have led with that. Sit. Spill.” “Oww!” Was all Jennifer could say. Carol gave her a sympathetic smile. “It’ll get better.” “The second time was better.” Jennifer agreed. “Third was the best.” “Third?” Carol nodded her head in approval, a large smile plastered on her face. “Look at you! Was it as scary as you thought it would be?” “The first time was. I was nervous he’d think I was too grotesque.” But he had gone out of his way to show her the scarring didn’t bother him. She blushed. She’d keep that memory to herself. “What was his reaction? Did he say anything?” He wasn’t talking, but his mouth had been plenty busy. “Umm, no.” “You use a condom?” “Carol!” She sighed. So nosey. “Neither of us have anything and it’s not like I can get pregnant.” “And did you get that verified by a licensed doctor like I told you to?” “Umm, no.” Jennifer admitted, shrinking back under her gaze. “Getting tested was bad enough. The nurse took one look, called the doctor in, who called another doctor in. I felt like half the clinic was staring at me. I was starting to wonder if I should start charging admission to come into the room.” “Well, I’m relieved to hear you don’t have Syphilis, and I’m proud of you for getting checked. It can cause much more serious health risks than a few sores if you leave it this long untreated.” “Not so loud!” Jennifer said with a cringe. There were already enough rumors about her without STD’s added to the mix. The women who worked in the office were gossip mongers. “They’ll hear you.” “Oh yes, you’ve missed all sorts of juicy gossip.” Carol chuckled. “I’ve been hearing all kinds of things about you and your boyfriend all week.” “He visited me at work one time.” Jennifer cringed. He hadn’t done anything. “And how would anyone know anything about him? He looked like any other parent with their kid.” She stared down Carol. “Unless someone let something slip…” She crossed her arms, fingers tapping anxiously. “Carol…” Carol shifted her eyes, a guilty grin twitched at the corners of her mouth. “I walked in on some ladies chatting in the teacher’s lounge.” “...And?” “I was only trying to help set the record straight…” Ignore it. Ignore it. Just ignore it. “What were they saying?” Jennifer asked, taking the bait. She was going to regret this. “That you were dating a woman from the bank.” Jennifer let her head fall in an exaggerated show of dismay. “Why does everyone think I’m a lesbian?” “So I told them the bloke with the kid the other day was your boyfriend.” “Oh, is that all?” She sank down in her chair in relief. “Want to hear my favorite one? These girls have quite the imagination.” “Fine, out with it.” “He’s been your secret lover for years, and he killed Agatha Trunchbull on your orders so you could openly be together.” They stared at each other in silence before erupting in laughter. “Hey, can I ask you something weird?” Jennifer asked. “There’s something I had been meaning to ask you since the revelation of the drugged juice.” “What’s that?” “It brought up a memory of getting something similar poured down my throat.” “Something to knock you out so you don’t fight back or make a commotion.” “Yeah, but I was wondering, something you told me about back then made me wonder. Did you have any memory gaps around the time you were held hostage?” She saw a strange look in Carol’s eyes. “Why do you ask?” “ I figured I had been drugged and that’s why I don’t remember much. But there is something I do remember. My aunt kept a bottle of expensive tequila in her desk drawer. I remember him finding it and pouring himself a drink.” “Is it still there? Party in your office?” “No, I think…we already drank it.” Jennifer said, studying her confused face. “I wasn’t watching what he was doing with it, but I remember he was holding it at one point. I was so angry at her I stole the bottle a few days later and put it in the vent in my room. You told me we drank it all when we were held there.” “Are you saying you roofied me?” Carol asked before letting out a sigh. “That…explains a few things.” “Like what?” “Like how I woke up with no idea where I was for the last five days with enough drugs in my system to sedate a horse. The hospital accused me of either stealing the drugs and going on a bender or trying to commit suicide. One day I was sitting in my car and saw you riding your bike and it started coming back, bit by bit.” “So you didn’t come back because…you forgot about me?” Jennifer asked. Carol grimaced and hung her head. Jennifer began to laugh. She couldn’t help it. This whole situation was so crazy. “I don’t know why, but that makes me feel better. Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been going around this whole time thinking you abandoned me, well, since you told me about it.” “How is ‘I forgot you existed’ any better? I’ve felt terrible about it. Then I thought it was because of the carbon monoxide, but five days wouldn’t cause that, you’ve been breathing it in for years.” “Maybe it was both? Like a perfect storm of events. Drugs, carbon monoxide and trauma.” “Traumatised? I wasn’t the one traumatized. You and the kid, yes, but-” “You were held prisoner for five days with three other people eating nothing but expired MRES and beat up. Of course you were traumatized. It isn’t a contest.” Jennifer said. “Eve said we all thought we were going to be killed.” “It was looking that way.” Carol admitted. “At least the kid was young enough not to know what was going on.” “I saw her pictures at the police station.” Jennifer said. “Those were…” Carol let out an exaggerated breath. “No wonder she’s so messed up.” “She said she only drew a recurring nightmare, but our therapist thinks there’s truth to it. I think he’s the adult body they found with the kids.” “Yeah, yeah, I think so too.” Carol said. “Well,” Jennifer said standing up. “I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on. I’ll let you get back to your book.” “Is she coming back to school soon?” Carol asked with a stretch. “I don’t know what we’re going to do. She keeps having these dissociative episodes. I might have to do what I did with Matilda and put another desk in my office and have her do independent studies.” Carol snickered. “Good luck getting anything done.” “No kidding.” Jennifer said as she walked out the door. The office staff greeted her warmly when she walked in. They asked her how her “vacation” was. One woman even thought she had gone to the Bahamas with her boyfriend. “One of my kids is sick.” Jennifer explained. They wished Matilda a speedy recovery. Jennifer didn’t correct them. She sat at her desk and scowled at the large pile of forms waiting for her. She was starting to understand why Agatha kept tequila in her desk. She really hated paperwork. Jennifer was only halfway through when the phone rang. Please don’t be Matilda. Please don’t be Matilda. It was.
  3. All Hortensia could do when she opened her eyes was cry. She couldn’t move. The pain was intolerable. She had tried to sit up, but it felt like everything was ripping open inside her. She could feel something warm and thicker than urine sliding in between her butt cheeks. Blood. Fear gripped her. All she could picture was a nappy full of gore. They had tried to hide it from her, but she had seen. It had bled a lot when she had scratched the odd lump she found open a couple of nights ago as well. “Miss Honey!” She cried out. Her voice had a panicked whine she didn’t recognize. Miss Honey bolted up, took one look at her face and lunged for the pill bottle. “Water…water…I’ll get you some more.” She ran to the bathroom and came back with a little cup. Hortensia raised herself to her elbows and swallowed the pill down. “It broke open! I’m bleeding!!” she cried. Miss Honey ripped the blankets off her and yanked the nappy open in the back before letting it slide back into place. “You’re okay, sweetheart.” Miss Honey said softly behind her head. “You’re not bleeding anymore.” “But I can feel it! It opened up when I tried to move!” “It’s not blood, it’s alright. You’re okay.” It’s not blood. It wasn’t, there’s nothing there. “Were you able to get any sleep?” The woman's hand had begun stroking her hair. Hortensia shook her head, too busy trying to fight back down the frightened tears to answer. She must have dozed off at one point because Miss Honey had no longer been reading to her, but had been asleep beside her. Most of Hortensia’s night had been spent listening to Miss Honey talk in her sleep. In any other circumstance it would have been amusing. Matilda hadn’t been kidding. You really could have a whole conversation with her in her sleep. “I’m sorry.” The hand that had been running through her hair was yanked away. “I promised I wouldn’t push myself on you and here I am doing just that.” “Do I have to go to school today?” Hortensia asked into the pillow. “It really hurts!” “No, honey, don’t worry about school right now. You need time to heal.” Hortensia let out a relieved breath. She had been dreading school all night. How could she be expected to sit still in a hard plastic chair all day? She could hardly push herself up. “Do you want to try getting up?” She did not. She shook her head and closed her eyes. “You need to get cleaned up sweetheart, you can’t stay like that. It will only make it hurt worse.” Hortensia grimaced and pulled the blanket up over her head. “Tell you what, let me go say good morning to everyone and call the school. Then I’ll come back and we’ll get you in the shower. How’s that sound? It’ll give you a chance to get your bearings a bit before we get you on your feet.” Hortensia grunted in acknowledgement. Anything so she could go back to sleep. “Don’t fall asleep; I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Sure. Sure. “Tens, sweetheart. It’s time to get up.” The blanket was pulled off her. Hortensia’s eyes slowly opened. “You don’t want a rash on top of everything else.” Psh. A rash. What was a rash compared to everything else? “Give me your hand. We’ll take it nice and slow.” Reluctantly, she grabbed for Miss Honey’s offered arm and pulled herself into a sitting position. “That’s it. How do you feel?” “Dizzy.” Hortensia mumbled. The infernal burning had turned into a dull ache. “Hold onto my arm, you’re almost up. Take your time.” As Hortensia was making her way to her feet, she was aware of more warmth accompanied by a faint noise, like a wet gurgle. She could feel the color draining from her face. She let out a strangled cry. Miss Honey’s eyes darted left and right, searching for the source until they finally fell on her. “Are you sure it’s not blood?” Hortensia asked in a small shaky voice. “It happened when I tried to get up.” “Doctor said that could happen if you strain.” Miss Honey said gently. “I wasn’t pushing it out!” “No, not straining to go, but straining your body, like if you cough or sneeze. The muscle in charge of keeping everything… contained needs a bit of R and R and is taking a little break. I know it’s out of your control right now.” “I can’t go to school like this!” “I told you not to worry about school. One thing at a time.” She was led by the arm into the bathroom where Miss Honey turned on the faucet. She stared at her for a moment as she shuffled around. “Do you think you’ll need any help?” Hortensia remained silent. It was a simple question, but she couldn’t get herself to say no. Her mind had gone blank. She didn’t want to make a decision or answer any questions, she just wanted to go back to bed. “Tens?” She could feel her eyes begin to well with tears. “It’s alright, honey, let me help you.” “I want to lie down.” Her body felt heavy and sluggish, like she was moving underwater. She felt her shirt get lifted over her head, leaving her standing naked except for the soiled nappy. “Soon. You don’t have to take a full shower, I’m just going to rinse you off. It’ll be real quick. See? Look at this.” Miss Honey eagerly pulled the shower head off the holder. “They make detachable ones now!” “Yeah,” Hortensia mumbled as Miss Honey let it dangle on its cord. “We had one at the house. I had to hose Matilda down with it.” “Hmm, maybe we should get Matilda to come clean you up, seems only fair.” “No!” “I’m only joking.” Miss Honey said gently. “I wouldn’t do that to you.” Hortensia watched her dig around in a couple cabinets before tearing a plastic bag off a roll. “Go on and step in.” She clung to Miss Honey’s arm for balance as she slowly lifted a leg over the rim of the tub before repeating the process, wincing with pain as she did so. Miss Honey held the bag open in front of her. Hortensia stared at it, then up at the woman who flashed her a sympathetic smile. “For the nappy.” Hortensia reached for the tabs and froze. Another gory image crossed her mind. Panic welled within her and she shut her eyes, sure now more than ever Miss Honey had lied to her. Her throat constricted with emotion. “Do you want me to do it?” Hortensia nodded her head, eyes still shut tight. She heard the crinkle and rip of the tabs. “Oh, this isn’t bad.” “Is there blood?” “Is that what you're afraid of?” “I’m not scared.” Hortensia said, though her voice came out sounding meek and fearful. “There’s a little bit, but it’s nothing like it was.” Miss Honey said. “Do you want to see?” Hortensia shook her head. She could hear crinkling plastic before feeling warm water begin to spray at her waist. “Does the water feel okay? It’s not too hot or cold?” “It’s fine.” Hortensia mumbled. Miss Honey turned her this way and that, but Hortensia still refused to open her eyes. “Do you want to try going potty?” Hortensia thought of the toilet, imagined sitting on it, imagined organs coming out. “No.” she whimpered. She was starting not to care if Miss Honey thought she was being childish. She wished her curiosity hadn’t gotten the best of her when Miss Honey collapsed. She had nearly lost it herself. She had even puked all down the front of her gown. “Are you sure? You were dry. You must need to pee.” She did. The running water wasn’t helping. She let out another scared whimper and nodded. “That’s what I thought. I’ll dry you off and you can sit on the toilet for a bit.” She adamantly shook her head. That would make her organs come out easier. “Are you hurting too much for that?” She nodded. It wasn’t a complete lie. It did hurt, but the pill had kicked in now. It didn’t eliminate the pain, but it took the edge off, made her feel less like she had taken a jagged knife up her arse and more like she had had the biggest, dryest shit of her life. “It’s alright, you can pee there, just, can you turn to the side and squat down? I don’t trust that booty of yours. Hold on to the railing with your other hand. That’s it. You can open your eyes, there’s nothing to be afraid of, sweetheart.” Hortensia shook her head again and slowly lowered herself down sobbing as she did so. She had only meant to pee, but her back end had relaxed as well and she could feel it burning as it exited her. Hot blood. She began to sob harder. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” Miss Honey kept whispering. “It’s only liquid. You’re not hurting anything. Go on and let anything that needs to come out, come out.” She was too afraid to push. What if a piece of her was only hanging by a thread? What if that was all it took? What if she started pooping out an intestine? She had to feel herself just to be sure nothing was hanging out, letting out a hiss of regret. “No, no. Don’t touch. Try and keep your hands off. I know it’s hard when you know you’re not supposed to.” Hortensia slowly opened her eyes and stared up at her. “There’s those pretty blue eyes. It’s okay. Are you all done?” Hortensia nodded and pulled herself up. Miss Honey rinsed her off with the shower head one more time before shutting off the water. She dried her off with frantic speed and led her back to the bedroom. Probably afraid I’m going to shit on the floor, Hortensia thought. Yep. She was pulling out another nappy and motioning for her to lie down. The other ones were better, she mused. These reminded her of hospitals and old folks' homes. What was that word Matilda used to describe old people? Geriatric. “Do you want to put your medicine on, or do you want me to do it?” Hortensia motioned for her to do it and closed her eyes. Bed. Her eyes popped open as Miss Honey began applying something cold somewhere she was just told not to touch. She’d do it herself next time. “This is Lidocaine, it’s going to help take away some of that burn.” She felt the sprinkle of powder before the sides came up. Now she could go back to sleep. “Do you want to come downstairs or do you want to sleep?” Hortensia slowly rolled over into her sleeping position. “Sleep.” she said into the pillow. There was added weight to the mattress as Miss Honey sat down beside her. She opened her eyes and stared up at her. “Can I ask what’s scaring you at this moment?” Miss Honey asked. “It’s dumb.” “I very much doubt it's dumb if it got you this worked up.” “I-I keep thinking it’s blood and intestines coming out.” Hortensia admitted. “I saw, last night, after you fell.” “Oh, sweetheart, no, that’s not dumb. That scared me too. And when you said you thought it had opened up and was bleeding… I’ve never been so happy to look down a child's pants and see poo.” Miss Honey said with a smile. Hortensia let out something between a laugh and a sob. “If it makes you feel any better I don’t think...” Matilda wandered into the room. “You can poop out your intestines.” she finished. Matilda stared at them with a look that said what conversation did I just walk into? “Your butt hole can turn inside out.” Matilda offered. “It’s called a prolapsed anus.” “Matilda!” Miss Honey hissed. “Not the time!” “You’re the one talking about pooping out organs! And it’s not like we're eating.” Miss Honey sighed and shook her head before whispering, “Get some sleep. I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.” … Jennifer was about to ask Matilda how her night was when Hazel appeared at the landing. “Daddy’s making breakfast.” She screamed up the stairs. Jennifer winced. Too early. How could such small kids yell so loud? Breakfast was a sweet gesture, but Jennifer didn’t think she could eat. Her stomach was still churning after dealing with Hortensia. She was proud of herself for not gagging in front of her. It wasn’t Tens’s fault Jennifer was squeamish. She sighed. She survived her first poopy nappy, she just didn’t think it would be for a pre-teen. “I’m not hungry, but thank you.” She said when she sat down at the kitchen table. Brian was at the stove making everyone pancakes. “How is she?” He asked. Jennifer put her head in her hands and shook it. She was so terrified of seeing blood she kept her eyes shut and cried the entire time. Her throat constricted. “She’s overwhelmed.” Jennifer managed to croak out. Brian sat back down at the table and let out a heavy sigh. “I couldn’t stop thinking about Hazel last night.” Brian said softly. “Who am I letting around her? Do I really know them? It wasn’t just The Neighbors, it was her moms best friends.” I’ve had to rely on people to watch her a lot this year. To think it was the person you trusted the most.” “I suppose that's why Eve’s pointing the finger at you, easier to believe it's a stranger.” “Pointing the finger about what?” Matilda asked. Jennifer went quiet. Little ears were listening. “About what?” Matilda asked again, more frustrated. She didn’t like being treated like a child. But this wasn’t something she was going to share with the kids. “Eve thinks she picked something up while she was staying with us.” Jennifer said. “But I think she picked it up from the neighbors. If she picked it up there, that means she gets to live with us.” “But what if she got sick here?” Hazel asked. Her eyes locked with Brian’s. “Then someone’s going to die.” She said softly. Brian chuckled nervously. “I believe it. You were pretty angry last night.” They could hurt her, but touch her children and there would be hell to pay. “But don’t worry, we know she didn’t get sick here, because the test shows she has had a history of getting sick at home.” “That’s sad.” Brian said. Matilda wrinkled her nose. “Is this what’s been making her poop her pants? Your room smelled like a barn.” Jennifer scowled as the girls giggled. “Matilda, I need you to be mature about this.” She never thought she’d be telling Matilda to be more mature. “Tens is very sick and can’t help it. She needs our love and support right now.” “Okay.” Matilda mumbled. “And whatever happened between you two. I need you to let it go.” Matilda remained silent. “I’m serious. She really needs a friend right now.” “Fine.” Matilda grumbled. "Do you think Hortensia will want any pancakes?” Brian asked. “Oh, no, she’s slee-” “Yeah.” Jennifer snapped her head up to find Hortensia standing in the kitchen entrance wearing a very mismatched skirt and blouse from her closet. “What are you wearing?” Matilda giggled. “I don’t have any clothes.” Hortensia said. “I’m not coming down naked, so I guess I’m a teacher today.” “A blind teacher.” Matilda giggled. Jennifer was surprised she had come down at all. She looked wobbly on her feet, with a glazed look in her eyes. “I thought you wanted to sleep.” she jumped up and offered her her seat. Hortensia slowly eased herself down. Jennifer heard a soft crinkle and breathed a sigh of relief. That was her favorite skirt. “I heard there was food. I’m starving.” Hortensia mumbled. “Haven’t eaten since yesterday.” “Yeah, that’s how breakfast works.” Matilda snorted. “Of course you’d come down for food.” “Meant lunch.” She sat hunched over, eyes closed, head held up by her palm. “It’s hard to talk.” “You can take my seat.” Brian said, returning to the stove. “How many would you like? Three? Four?” “One.” Hortensia said. “I thought you said you were starving?” Matilda scoffed. Jennifer frowned with concern. She had seen Hortensia eat. She had been feeding her all summer. It was like feeding a horse. “Are you sure you only want one?” she asked. Hortensia nodded. “How about two? Do you think you could eat two?” Hortensia shrugged. “Two it is.” Brian said. “Jenny?” “Fine, I'll eat one.” “Two it is.” Brian repeated. When he set a plate of them down in front of her she nearly gagged. They had large brown spots all over them. Not the best morning for chocolate chips. “They're good!” Matilda exclaimed. And they were. Jennifer set her fork down with a groan. “I haven’t had this much sugar for breakfast since the time Matilda tried to roofie us.” Jennifer said. “Umm, what?” Brian asked. “You know, when she mixed in those edibles. I told you the story.” Brian’s lips creased into a tight line as he avoided eye contact. “That’s not what ‘roofie’ means.” He whispered the rest in her ear. Nope. Nope. That’s not what happened. But there was something about that… Her vision began to swim. He was handing her a flask, telling her to drink it. “It’ll help you relax. It’ll hurt if you don’t relax.” “No, please don’t!” He grabbed her by the back of her hair and pulled her head up. He began to pour something like extra bitter grape juice in her mouth. She swallowed it down and choked. “I just wanted you to get me out!” she cried as she backed up as far as she could away from him. “I’ll get you out, I just want a small favor first.” “Jenny?” Brian asked. “Are you okay?” “Yeah, yeah. I just ate too much.” Jennifer said. “I think I need to sit on the couch for a bit.” She looked over at Hortensia’s plate. She had barely eaten. “Did you not like them?” “You nearly licked the batter bowl last time I made these.” Brian said. “Wasn’t hungry after all.” Hortensia mumbled. “Do you want to go back up stairs?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia shook her head. She looked like she was going to drop. “Do you want to come sit on the couch with me?” Hortensia nodded. “Yeah, let’s go sit down.” She grabbed her lightly from under the arms and helped her to her feet. “Why are you making that face?” Matilda asked. “Cause it hurts.” Hortensia grumbled. “I thought you were sick.” Matilda scowled. “Matilda, can you get the dishes, please.” Jennifer asked to distract her. “Can I use my powers?” “Yes, fine.” Matilda let out a woop and dishes began to fly. “That never gets old.” Brian said. “It does.” Several voices said at once. Jennifer stopped in her tracks. Her living room was full of ghosts. Jacob, Amber, Billy, and three boys she didn’t recognize. They all stared at her expectantly, in various stages of thereness. All the boys were transparent, but both Billy and Jacob seemed to be barely visible, almost blinking in and out of existence. The only one who seemed the most whole was Amber. Jennifer wondered if it was because she was the most recent. Had time taken away the other's lifeforce? “It’s a little crowded here.” Jennifer mumbled. “What?” Matilda asked. She looked around the room. “There’s no one here.” Her face fell. “Are you telling me to leave?” “No. No, sweetheart, you’re fine. Why don’t you put on a movie for Tens. Something happy.” They had been collecting more and more family friendly VHS tapes from yard sales. Didn’t want another episode of walking in on the kids watching Silence of the Lambs again. She had had to explain to Hazel it wasn’t actually about baby sheep. Matilda had been sent to her room for putting it on knowing full well it was not a farm movie like Babe or Charlotte's Web. “Land Before Time?” Matilda suggested. “That’s not happy.” Hortensia mumbled. “Not Littlefoot's mom. That makes me cry.” Hazel said. Matilda’s face paled. Of all the movies she could have picked… Jennifer dug through her stack of videos. Fox and the Hound? No, not the scene of Todd being left in the forest. Charlotte’s Web? No, she dies and the babies leave him. The Never Ending Story? That gave Matilda nightmares about horses for weeks. Homeward Bound, Forrest Gump, Air Bud. Why were all these so depressing? “The Princess Bride, Hook or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!” Hazel exclaimed, jumping up and down as she karate chopped the air. “Hey! Settle down!” Brian said, walking in from the kitchen. “Let Hortensia pick since she’s not feeling well.” “Nightmare.” Was all Hortensia had managed to get out. Nightmare Before Christmas it is, Jennifer thought, looking for the case amongst the pile she had amassed over the summer. She looked down and groaned. “Girls, you need to rewind the tapes after you finish watching them.” She slipped out Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but that too was unwound. She slipped it in the VCR just in case she got it backwards, but the credits popped up on the screen when she hit Play. Matilda bent and picked up The Nightmare Before Christmas. “Race you.” she said, gripping the tape in both hands. “Let’s see who's faster, the VCR or me.” Jennifer’s eyes flickered to the eager faces, both living and dead. She hit rewind. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles won by a landslide. Matilda couldn’t use her powers without moving her eyes. They kept going round and round with the tape. Hazel, Matilda and four dead boys sat on the floor in front of the telly. “You can stretch out on the couch if that’s easier for you.” Jennifer said, taking a seat on the couch. “If you put your head in my lap you can lay down.” Hortensia seemed to weigh her options before slowly easing herself down. “There you go.” The girl leaned against her shoulder, but seemingly ran out of gas and stopped. It didn’t look very comfortable, so Jennifer re-positioned her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder so that she was cradling her against her chest. Hortensia’s eyes had closed and within minutes, she had fallen asleep in her arms. She absentmindedly brushed her fingers through Hortensia’s hair as she studied her features. She thought of the girl trembling in fear in her bathtub and sighed. Matilda had gotten bored with the movie and had wandered away, Brian was asleep in the armchair, but Hazel and the ghosts were watching intently. Amber was sitting on the arm of the chair beside him staring longingly at her daughter. It was the first time Jennifer had seen her not preoccupied with the only two living people who could interact with her. She was different from the other ghosts, she was still non corporeal, but she could interact with objects and touch her while the others could not. “Hey, Hazel.” Jennifer said. The girl bent her head backwards to look up at her. “Why don’t you go get in your daddy's lap.” The little girl stood and catapulted herself into Brian. Not quite what she had meant. Jennifer winced as Brian let out a startled cry of pain, but she couldn’t keep the amused grin off her face. “Hi,” Brian said. Hazel was giggling but suddenly stopped. “It got cold all of a sudden. Is the AC on?” He asked. Jennifer shook her head. Amber was trying to hold them both. His face suddenly fell. “Is it okay that she’s getting into that stuff?” Jennifer looked away from the bittersweet scene and followed his gaze. Matilda was sitting cross legged on the floor going through the contents of a bag. Hortensia’s hospital bag. She was reading through the after visit summary. “Matilda! Get out of there!” Jennifer shouted, but the look on the girl's face told her it was too late. She had already seen. “That’s not a stomach virus.” Matilda said. “No, it’s not.” Jennifer said softly. “Get out of that stuff, come sit with us.” “What-” Matilda started to ask, but Jennifer put a finger to her lips and pointed at Tens, who was fast asleep in her arms. Matilda stared at the two of them for a long time. “Does this bother you?” Jennifer asked. Matilda was silent for a moment before shaking her head. Jennifer scooted over as much as she could leaving a small gap between her and the armrest. She patted the spot, Matilda stared at her for a moment before laughing. “I’m not going to fit.” But she climbed up anyway and made herself fit. Jennifer put an arm around her and held both girls tightly against her chest. “How?” Matilda whispered. “I don’t know.” Jennifer whispered back. “Hasn’t she said?” “Let’s not talk about this.” Jennifer said. Brian stretched before meeting her eyes. “I’m going to do that test today.” Brian announced. “Would it be too much trouble to leave Hazel here with you? I know you have your hands full.” “Not at all.” Jennifer said. “What test? I like tests.” Matilda said. “Only you.” Hortensia mumbled, eyes still shut tight. “I don’t think you’d like this test.” Brian said. “It’s a medical test.” “Oh.” Matilda said.. “Do you really have to stick a q-tip in your ure-” “Okay, no more of that topic.” Jennifer said. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you read Carol’s old textbooks.” “Yeah, that…that’s umm…” Brian scratched at his head before shuddering again. “Unsettling.” he mumbled. “I like knowing stuff.” Matilda said with a shrug. “I know you do, but it’s a very inappropriate topic for you to be spouting off about.” Jennifer said. “Especially at your age, and in front of the other children.” She waved her hand amongst the sea of confused faces. “Hazel is a child, not children.” Matilda said. “Remember what I told you about keeping topics age appropriate.” Matilda rolled her eyes. “And not asking Brian inappropriately personal questions.” “Fine.” Matilda grumbled. “I think it’s a blood test.” Brian said before adding. “I hope.” His eyes darted from Jennifer to Hortensia. “Is that what they stole my blood for?” Hortensia mumbled. Brian visibly relaxed. “Maybe.” Jennifer said. “Are you going now?” “Yeah, best to get it out of the way. Peace of mind,” he looked around the room. “For everyone.” Jennifer wanted to assure him she didn’t think it was him, but still, she’d feel better about his presence around the kids with hard evidence. Her mind had been haunting her with “what iff’s” since she heard of Eve’s accusations and it scared her. Scared her that the possibility of Brian being a predator had never crossed her mind even once. She really had sent someone else's child off with him without a second thought. No wonder Eve was angry with her. Would she have thought twice about it if it had been Matilda? When had she let her guard down so much? Because he had kids? Or was she just being biased because she had fallen in lo- “What?” Brian asked. “What’s that face for?” “N-nothing.” She said quickly. She busied herself by kissing each girl's head. Once Brian had let himself out, and the movie had ended, Hazel’s attention had turned back to them. “Where’d daddy go?” Hazel asked. The girl had been so transfixed with the screen she had tuned out Brian’s goodbye’s and explanations. “He has to go get blood work done.” Jennifer said. “He hopes.” Matilda snickered. “Why?” Hazel asked. “To make sure he’s not sick.” Jennifer said. “Why?” “Because Tens is sick and we need to know where it came from.” “One time, this girl came to Sunday School sick and she got everyone else sick too.” Hazel shared. “It’s important to stay home if you're not feeling well.” “I hate church.” Hortensia mumbled. “They make me go.” “Was never a fan of it myself.” Jennifer admitted. “You’d never know Miss Trunchbull was deeply religious, but she was.” “The pews hurt my butt, and it’s boring.” Hortensia mumbled. Jennifer patted her back. She finally didn’t say arse. Small miracles. “Are we going to school today?” Matilda asked. “Not today. You girls might be doing school work at home, or Hortensia will be joining us in my office.” “Why?” Matilda asked with a frown. “Because she’s not feeling well and it hurts her to sit.” “Syphilis doesn’t hurt.” Matilda said. “Faker.” “There’s sores in my butt.” Hortensia said softly. “They hurt.” And on the front. “Matilda,” Jennifer hissed. “She is not faking it. And how would you know if it hurts or not?” “Sure.” Matilda said unconvinced. “Because I read. The sores aren’t itchy or painful.” “It does if you scratch it open.” Hortensia groaned. “It’s infected.” Jennifer said. How she had even found it in order to scratch it open Jennifer couldn’t understand. It was a knuckle deep, at least. No way she had found it wiping, like she had said. But would Jennifer have been able to get her out from their care in time if she hadn’t been in pain? Probably not. “Oh.” Matilda said. “Your infection…got infected?” “Something like that.” Jennifer said. “Let’s not talk about this right now.” Not in front of Hazel. “I’m sorry I laughed at you for getting a tube up your butt.” Hortensia lamented. “It hurt so bad!” “Why’d you get a tube up your butt?” Matilda asked, face wrinkled in disgust. “Remember what happened when you were constipated?” Jennifer whispered. Matilda shuddered. “What did they do that for? We all know you can poop just fine.” Matilda snickered. “Stop it.” Jennifer hissed. “Miss Honey fainted.” Hortensia said with a soft chuckle. “You did?” Matilda asked, shocked. “Why?” “I, umm, got a little woozy.” She figured it was a mix of seeing the blood and hearing Hortensia screaming in pain. “They put it in wrong and cut me.” Hortensia said. “A whole bunch of blood came out.” Matilda’s face paled. “That’s because you jumped when they put it in. It’s a very sensitive area. The slightest thing could open it up, that’s why it’s important to lie still. ” She held up one of Hortensia’s arms, which was covered in bruises from the Iv line. “How many times did they try to put an Iv in before they got it?” “Twelve!” Hortensia hissed. “And were you lying still and letting them try?” Hortensia grumbled under her breath. She’d take that as a no. Thankfully, the subject had soon changed. Jennifer was in the middle of listening to Hazel’s description of her classroom when she felt moisture on her arm. She looked down and found Hortensia’s face buried in the crook of her arm. She had either fallen back asleep and started drooling or… Jennifer could see her body violently rising and falling with choked sobs. “Honey, are you okay?” Jennifer whispered as she rubbed her back. “Do you need a change?” she asked after a pause. Hortensia shook her head. “Did the pain pill wear off already?” She looked at the clock. She couldn’t have any more for at least another hour. Again, she shook her head. “Would you tell me what’s wrong?” Shake. “Matilda, could you take Hazel up to your room and play?” She watched as the girls slowly ascended the stairs and turned her attention back to the distraught lump in her lap. She had started off leaning against her chest, but over the course of the morning, she had slowly dragged herself into Jennifer’s lap without her noticing. All promises of Jennifer keeping her hands to herself had gone out the window. It had been a dumb thing to say anyway. Hortensia wasn’t an adult who needed space, she was a child. A broken child who needed to be loved and comforted. “Please talk to me.” Jennifer whispered, running her fingers through Hortensia’s hair. “E-e-e-very-thing’s a-a-always m-my f-f-f-ault!” Hortensia sobbed. “No, Tens, this isn’t your fault.” Jennifer said softly. “It’s my fault for picking at it! It’s my fault it bled! It’s my fault they couldn’t get the Iv in!” “Sweetheart, I wasn’t blaming you. I just wanted you to understand why you need to stay still. I know it’s hard to do when you’re scared. I’m sorry I made it seem like I was blaming you.” Hortensia didn’t respond, only cried until she didn’t have the energy left in her to cry anymore. “You’ve been strong for so long.” Jennifer whispered when Hortensia had finally settled down. “How have you been keeping this to yourself all this time?” She didn’t answer. “When I was only a few years older than you, I asked a very large man for help. Instead of rescuing me, he took advantage of me.” Jennifer explained. “What do you mean?” Hortensia mumbled. “He raped me, and the person who was supposed to look after me let him.” Jennifer said. “Does this sound anything like your situation?” Hortensia shook her head. “So Cynthia wasn’t letting Aiden…” Hortensia shook her head again. “I wasn’t raped.” Hortensia said. Jennifer shut her eyes. Hortensia didn’t understand. She was in denial. “Whatever he told you, whatever he made you believe to get you to agree, it was still rape. It’s called grooming.” Hortensia shook her head. “They got it wrong. I wasn’t raped. I’ve never been raped.” Jennifer frowned. “Sweetheart, even if you agreed to have sex…” The doctor had told her it was definitely an adult. “I’ve never had sex.” Hortensia said. “I didn’t even know what sex was until Mrs. Rodgers gave me that talk.” she shuddered. “Tens, you don’t need to lie anymore. You’re not in trouble, you’re safe.” “I’m not lying! I- I don’t, I don’t know what’s going on!” Fresh tears were sprouting in her eyes. So Jennifer did need to explain. “Tens, you have a sexually transmitted infection. Those sores came from someone else who has sores. Their genitals had to have come into contact with yours. And no, you couldn’t have gotten it from a toilet seat or bath water. Whether you agreed to it or not, they are in the wrong. An adult did this.” Hortensia looked confused. “I didn’t.” Hortensia said. “What about when you were little? When you told people Aiden…” Hortensia shook her head. “I was stupid and didn’t know what ‘rape’ meant. I had heard the word and asked mom what it meant. She said it was when someone touches you when you don’t want them to. Aiden was tickling me and I didn’t want him to…” “And no one explained?” “Everyone started making a big deal out of it. I was too scared I’d get in trouble to explain. Mom took me to the doctor, and they said it didn’t happen. Then I had to go to church for counseling, and they said I had made it up because I was upset over dad leaving us.” “So then Aiden…” Hortensia shook her head. Jennifer wasn’t sure she believed her. Was she protecting him? “Tens, I’m going to be blunt with you. Someone raped you, repeatedly. We know this for a fact, there is no mistake.” “But…no. I couldn’t have been. I’d know.” “Yes, honey.” She could hear the phone ringing. “I need to get that. It’s probably your mom.” “Don’t tell her.” Hortensia mumbled into Jennifer’s arm. “She already knows.” Hortensia reluctantly wiggled out of her lap and Jennifer raced upstairs to get the cordless phone. She winced as the prerecorded message played from the jail. It was Eve alright. She accepted the charges and tore the phone away from her ear. “JENNIFER! WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?” The voice on the other end of the line screamed. “She’s here.” Jennifer said once she thought it was safe to put the phone to her ear again. “She’s with me.” “And your boyfriend…?” She growled. “It isn’t him!” Jennifer defended, but stopped. “He’s getting tested now. He’s not here. I’m not taking any chances.” “You keep him away from my daughter!” “Eve, it’s Aiden.” She said softly. “Is that what she told you?” Eve demanded. “Well, no, but-” “It’s. Not. Aiden! You think I don’t keep an eye on who I let watch my only daughter?” “I-I’m not saying that, but-” “He tested negative.” Eve said. Jennifer felt her stomach fall. If not him…who?
  4. Jennifer felt her heart splinter when she saw her. Hortensia was lying on her side in the fetal position, blanket up over her head to shut out the world. Jennifer pulled up a chair by the bed and sat. She reached a hand toward the lump and froze. Jennifer wanted to hold her, and comfort her, and cry with her, and tell her everything would be alright. Instead, she let her hand fall back down in her lap. If she touched her, Hortensia would panic. “How did you know?” a voice behind her asked. Carol was sitting in a chair in the corner. Jennifer hadn’t even noticed her. “You told me she never said she was being abused, but you still knew.” It was in the way she flinched when she was touched. Jumped when her name was called. The rages, the bedwetting. There were so many red flags. “There were signs.” The lump on the bed rolled over and stared at her. Jennifer tried to study her face, but it gave no hint to how she was feeling. She just looked tired. “Don’t ask me anything.” Hortensia demanded. Jennifer bit her lip. She had so many questions, but she nodded and remained quiet. “There’s been a lot of people in and out.” Carol explained in a low voice. “Want to take a walk?” “In a little bit.” Jennifer said. She wanted to sit with Hortensia for a while. She dug in her backpack and pulled out her stuffed dog. “I brought you someone.” Her wall fell for just a second and Jennifer could see the vulnerability and fear in her eyes before her face went rigid and emotionless again. Still, Hortensia accepted the dog and brought it under the covers with her. “I do have one question for you.” Jennifer said softly. “No.” Hortensia said flatly. “Were you the one who made me those pictures hanging in my office?” She knew she had. She had seen the evidence in her backpack, but she wanted to hear it from her. Slowly, Hortensia nodded. “Do you like them?” “I love them.” Jennifer said. “I had no idea you were so talented.” Hortensia shrugged before gesturing to her backpack. Jennifer handed it over. She watched as Hortensia dug through it and produced two envelopes. She handed one to Jennifer and kept the other in her lap. Jennifer opened it to the picture she had seen before. She re-read the note in its entirety. She let out a sound between a half laugh and half sob. She had signed the note Hor-paininthearse-sia. “You are not a pain in the arse.” Jennifer said firmly. “You are a wonderful girl who has been through something no one should go through, especially not as a child.” Hortensia didn’t look convinced. “You’re coming home with me. You’re not going back. You’re not moving away. You’re not going to that camp.” She wasn’t even sure there was a camp anymore. “You’re safe.” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Jennifer was about to ask if she could hug her, but Meaghan had strolled in rolling a cart with something that looked awfully familiar. “It’s time. Are you ready?” Hortensia stared at the contents of the cart and sank further into a ball. “Why?” Jennifer asked. “Doctor has ordered an anoscopy.” Meaghan spoke low so only Jennifer could hear. She must have seen the confusion on her face. “It’s a test so he can get a better picture of what’s going on inside, but we need her to empty her bladder and bowels first. This is standard prep.” “I already went.” Hortensia grumbled. “Remember?” She gestured to the bed. Jennifer didn’t want to know. Why did kids have super hearing only when you didn’t want them to? “We need you completely empty, so we’re going to give you a little something to help speed up the process.” “Am I going to have to drink something nasty?” Hortensia asked. Jennifer stared at the bag of fluid and tubes sitting on the cart with an uneasy feeling. “You won’t taste a thing.” Meaghan said with a sympathetic smile. “I promise.” “Ready for that walk?” Carol asked. Jennifer looked from Hortensia to Meaghan. “Coffee isn’t half bad in the cafeteria.” Meaghan offered. Jennifer went to Hortensia’s bed side. “Do you want me to stay or go, honey?” Hortensia’s eyes were darting around the room looking from face to face for answers. Jennifer could tell she sensed something unpleasant was about to happen. Someone else came in pushing a commode and left. Hortensia’s face soured. “In here? In front of everyone?” “Only who you want.” Meaghan said. “Nobody!” “You’re very brave.” Jennifer squeezed her hand and stood. “Why am I brave for taking a shit in a bucket?” She saw the tubes. Jennifer could see the gears spinning in her head. “They're going to do what they did to Matilda!” Her face filled with panic. “No! No!” She was scrambling to get away. The facade was gone. “Don’t let them! No! DON’T TOUCH ME!” She was trying to get out of bed. “I NEED ASSISTANCE IN BED SIX!” “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Jennifer was trying to keep her from bolting. She was hooked up to the I.V. line. She was going to rip it out if she tried to make a run for it. “It’ll only be uncomfortable for a minute.” Meaghan said. She was flanked now by two orderlies. “Tens, it’ll be over soon. They’ll do their test, and then we can go home and you can soak in the tub.” “It has to happen, kiddo, this is important. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way like the Iv.” Jennifer didn’t want to imagine what it took to put an Iv in her. But Hortensia wasn’t listening, she was thrashing against the orderlies who were pinning her down on the bed and sobbing. Jennifer stood horrified. “Isn’t there another way? Can’t she drink something, or wait for it to come out on its own?” Jennifer asked. “No, sorry, we need to get this done as soon as possible for the investigation.” Meaghan explained as she hung the bag of saline on the Iv pole. “It’s only going to hurt if you fight. You need to relax.” One of the orderlies had rolled her onto her side where Jennifer could see a soiled hospital gown and pad. “If you want any kind of privacy, you’re going to have to stop fighting, or this is going to happen in front of a whole room of people holding you down.” Jennifer bent and picked up the dog that had rolled onto the floor. “Hold your dog and it’ll be over soon.” Jennifer whispered. She sat in the chair. She knew she’d regret staying, but she couldn’t get herself to leave. She reached out and grabbed one of Hortensia’s hands. “Or squeeze my hand.” Hortensia was still sobbing, but at least she had stopped thrashing. She felt a hand squeeze hers. Jennifer nodded to Meaghan. “Do the men need to stay and hold you down?” With a sob Hortensia shook her head. “That’s a brave girl. It’ll be okay.” Jennifer whispered. “Do you want me to leave or stay?” Hortensia let out an unintelligible sound. “I’ll be in the cafeteria.” Carol said. “Are you going to stay with her?” “Don’t go.” Hortensia said in a pitiful small voice. “Do you want me to stay?” Hortensia nodded and wiped her face. “Let’s move these papers out of the way.” Meaghan said. She reached for the folder but Hortensia snatched it before she could grab it. “Do you want me to put them in your backpack?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia nodded. Jennifer took them. She was about to slide them in when she froze. The ghost man was standing in the doorway pointing at the folder in her hands. This is what he had wanted her to get. “I’m going to start.” Meaghan said. Hortensia let out a nervous whine. “It’ll be okay.” Jennifer said, squeezing her hand and slipping the folder into the pack at her feet. She could look at it later. Meaghan handed her a green bag. Jennifer took it. Her eyebrows creased in confusion as she looked it over. “I remember you from last time. You looked a little green.” Jennifer forced a smile. “I’m not going to throw up.” “She’s not going to make it to the commode. Don’t watch this.” Meaghan whispered before placing another pad on the bed. “I’m going to clean you up a tad. This might be a little cold.” She said, turning her attention back to Hortensia. “A LITTLE?” Hortensia shouted, nearly jumping. “Try and stay as still as possible for me. I’m going to put it in on the count of ten, alright? One-” Jennifer was aware of two things. Hortensia’s screams of pain and the bones in her hands being crushed. “I know it hurts, and I’m sorry…” “TAKE IT OUT! TAKE IT OUT!” “I can’t; I’m sorry. It’ll be over soon, just try and bear with it, just a little longer.” “IT HURTS! IT HURTS!” “You’re hurting her!” Jennifer said, horrified, It wasn’t like this for Matilda! What was happening? “Is this because of the sore?” “The doctor will tell you more when he takes a look.” Jennifer stared at the bag, willing it to drain faster. She had never heard a child scream like this. Her body broke out in a sweat, her slippery hands nearly sliding out of the girl's crushing grasp. Go faster. Go faster. “Whatever you do, don’t look over here. Stay in your seat as you are.” “What’s going on?” Jennifer asked. Was something wrong? Was she going to be okay? Then the smell hit her. She began to cough. She could taste bile. Jennifer tried to take slow deep breaths, but began to gag. “Make sure it gets in the bag.” Meaghan said without looking up. “I’m fine.” Jennifer choked out before dry retching. She could do this. She could do this. The girl screaming and sobbing was enduring far worse. She should be concerned, not grossed out. “We’re all done. You did it. I’m going to pull it out.” She could see Hortensia’s body visibly deflate. There was indeed no hope of making it. Matilda had been different. Why wasn’t she making her hold it and watching the clock? “There you go. I bet that feels better now.” “I can’t. I can’t move.” Hortensia cried. “It’s alright hun, I knew this was going to be messy going in. Go on, let it out there. We’ll get you cleaned up in a bit and then I’ll get you something for the pain.” “Pain first! Pain first!” Hortensia begged. “I’ll get you situated, don’t worry. You finish up and I’ll put in the order, but I can’t inject it into your Iv until everything’s sterile again. Meaghan exited out the curtain as she heard another patient complain about the smell. “You did it. You’re done. It’s all over.” Jennifer said softly to the crying girl on the bed. She lightly brushed her thumb over her hand. “It-it hu-hurts so ba-ad.” “She’s getting you something. You’ll feel better soon. You might even be able to sleep for a few minutes.” It was getting late. She wondered if Matilda was in bed, or if she was trying to stay up waiting for them. She pictured her asleep alongside Hazel, oblivious to the evils of the world. She could feel her eyes burning with tears. “I’m so sorry, Tens. I’m so sorry this happened to you.” “D-did Ma-Matilda cry t-t-too?” Hortensia asked. “Yes, she did.” Jennifer said with a sniffle. “She couldn’t hold it either.” It certainly wasn’t to this extent. “I’m surprised they didn’t have you on a bedpan like they did her.” “Hurt too much.” Hortensia said letting out a shaky breath. “What is it that hurts?” “My arse!” “I know that, but where? Is it the outside, inside? The opening?” “I don’t know, it just hurts! Stop asking me questions!” “Alright, I’m back. Are you all emptied out?” Meaghan asked, coming up behind Jennifer. Hortensia nodded. “Have you peed? I don’t see any pee.” Hortensia shook her head. “I need you to pee as well.” “On myself?” “Hun, we aren’t saving any of this. I mean, if you really want to go in the commode, but at this point, let’s just contain the mess to one place.” “I’m not looking.” Jennifer said. She could see Meaghan digging through drawers for supplies as she flexed her now free hand. “You’ve got quite the grip.” “Have you peed yet?” Meaghan asked, slipping on fresh gloves before setting down a package of wipes, a fresh gown and more pads on the counter. “I-it’ll g-g-get on and h-hurt more.” Hortensia cried. “I can fix that. Lift up your top leg.” Meaghan slid a folded pad in between her legs. “There, no problems now?” Hortensia shook her head. “Good, there you go. All done? Can I take it out?” Hortensia nodded. “If you want to go to the cafeteria and get some coffee now you can while I get her situated. The doctor should be here in about thirty minutes. We won’t start the test without a guardian present.” Jennifer bit her lip and stared at the tear streaked girl’s face. Her stomach was roiling from the smell, and the thought of fresh air was tempting…but no. She wouldn’t leave. “I’ll wait with her.” Meaghan nodded and began filling a pink tub with water. “Alright, Hortensia, I’m going to get this gown off you.” Hortensia curled herself back into a ball, now naked and shivering. “Are you cold, honey?” Jennifer asked. The girl nodded with a sniffle. “She’ll be done in a few minutes, and then you can have a fresh blan-” her words trailed off as she saw her old gown. Meaghan had quickly bunched it into a ball, but not fast enough. It wasn’t just brown, but bright red. Jennifer jumped to her feet. “No, don’t loo-” Something foul was burning her nostrils. She let out a soft moan and opened her eyes. Her head was pounding under the bright fluorescent lights. Someone she didn’t recognize was waving something small and white under her nose. She turned her head to get away from the acrid smell. “She’s coming around.” they announced. “Told you not to look.” Meaghan said, coming into view before bending down and helping her into a chair. “How’s your head? You hit the ground hard.” “I’m fine.” Jennifer mumbled. “I just wasn’t expecting…so much blood.” Meaghan put a finger to her lips. “Don’t scare her more than she already is.” She whispered. “That’s the thing with injuries in and around the anus. The skin is very thin, tears easily, and bleeds like the dickens. That’s why it’s so easy to get an STD. I would have kicked you out had I known you were this squeamish.” “I’m fine.” Jennifer grumbled. She stared at Hortensia, who was already now clean, and wrapped in a blanket. “How long was I out?” “Only a couple minutes.” “You work fast.” “Not as fast as a dose of Hydromorphone.” Meaghan gestured to the bed. “She’s asleep?” Jennifer asked, surprised. Good. She frowned for a moment in thought. Her chair by Hortensia’s bedside was now occupied by the dead man. He looked so… sad. She didn’t know ghosts had any feelings, but his body posture alone seemed to prove otherwise. Jennifer pulled up her chair beside him and studied the two of them. What was his connection to her? Why did all the ghosts seem to stick to her in particular? Was it because she was closer in age to most of them? She had said they had wanted her to play with them. “Who are you?” Jennifer whispered. His victims were the sick and vulnerable, but he looked neither, apart from being dead. Was he gay? Did he get murdered after a one night stand? Aiden clearly had a preference for boys. Hortensia’s eyes slowly fluttered open. “Hi, sweetheart, are you feeling any better?” Jennifer asked, but her eyes weren’t focused on her. “Daddy?” Hortensia whispered. Jennifer felt her heart sink. Daddy. Her vision was beginning to blur with tears. She grabbed Hortensia’s backpack and stood. “Honey, I’ll…I’ll be back.” Tears began to freely fall as she stood in the elevator and put her head against the wall. So that’s what happened to Hortensia’s dad. That’s where he’s been all this time. Dead. And less than a hundred feet from where his daughter played. How could life be so cruel to one person? A child no less. She found Carol sitting alone with a to-go cup of tea at a table. She flopped down in the chair across from her and put her head in her hands. “Why?” Jennifer asked, wiping her eyes with her wrist. “Why did this have to happen to her?” “Sometimes the monsters in this world aren't the shadows in our closets, or underneath our beds. The monsters are the people hiding in plain sight. Our neighbors, or our own family members…you know this.” “I know.” Jennifer sniffled. She felt Carol rub her back. “Hortensia has always been, and most likely will always be, a very troubled girl.” Carol said. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Jennifer looked up at her horrified. “Of course I want to do this! How could you ask me that?” “This isn’t going to be like taking in Matilda, and you have to consider her safety as well.” Carol said. “You can’t think of her as a project either. You can’t fix this. She will most likely carry this for the rest of her life.” “She’s not a project! She’s a person! A child! A deeply wounded child.” Jennifer said before sighing. “She reminds me of Agatha. She was also the victim of incest. She’d get drunk and tell me all about it. I often wonder, would she still be the vile monster she was if someone had stepped in and showed her even an ounce of kindness?” “Nature vs. nurture.” Carol said. “Sometimes monsters are made, others are born evil.” “I’m not going to let her be consumed by hate.” “That’s up to her, not you.” Carol said. “The police were asking me questions about Brian.” Jennifer looked up from rummaging in Hortensia’s backpack. “Why?” “Eve’s pointing the finger at him.” “WHAT?” “He is on their radar, so don’t be surprised if he tells you the police dragged him in for interrogation.” “But..but…no! He would never! How could she think that?” “You did leave her daughter in the care of a man she didn’t know.” “But-” “I don’t think it’s him, relax. A test for Syphilis will rule him out. He doesn’t have any sores on his penis, does he?” Jennifer adamantly shook her head. Carol nodded. “I think this is something that’s been going on for a while. I won’t be surprised if they find old wounds that have already healed.” “Her dad’s not in prison. He’s dead.” “She told you that?” “It’s his bones they dug up.” Jennifer shook her head. “I think Aiden killed him and has been the one pretending to be him to manipulate her.” “Obey Aiden. Listen to Aiden. Do as you're told. I thought there was something off about those cards.” “What if Cynthia put the letter in Eve’s safe to frame her? She was alone with the kids in Eve’s house when Matilda was injured.” She began dumping the contents of the backpack into the table. She found the folder she was searching for and pulled it out of the cluttered mess. It was much thicker than the one with the single picture. She opened the folder and then shut it immediately. She stared at Carol wide eyed. “It’s him. The tall man.” She couldn’t look at him. Carol took the envelope from her and opened it. She flipped through the pages with a stoic look on her face before setting it down. “And that’s who assaulted you?” Jennifer nodded. “He’s massive.” “What was in the folder?” “Nothing you want to see.” Carol stood up with the folder in her hand. “There’s the cop who was asking me about your boyfriend. I’m going to give it to him. They need this.” … “There you go. You’re almost inside.” Jennifer whispered. She had her arm looped around Hortensia’s for support as she slowly waddled up the walk. “We’ll get you upstairs, and then you can soak in the tub before bed. You can use the one in my room, it’s bigger.” She pushed her front door open and tiptoed inside. Nothing but the glow of the television illuminated the house. Jennifer would have smiled if she didn’t feel so numb. The girls were sacked out together on the couch and Brian was asleep in the arm chair. She led Hortensia upstairs, wincing with every step as Hortensia did. She started the bath and added a cup of epson salt to the bottom. Next she helped her get out of her clothes and out of the diaper, wincing as she saw more blood. She balled it up before Hortensia could see and threw it in the trash. “There you go. How’s the water?” Jennifer asked as she helped ease her into a sitting position. Hortensia shrugged and stared straight ahead. “How’s your pain?” “It hurts.” She mumbled. “I’ll give you a pill after your bath.” Jennifer said, kneeling by the tub. “It’s going to be okay.” she whispered before kissing the side of her head. “I’m going to help you get through this. You’re not alone.” “Do you understand what’s going on?” Jennifer asked as she lathered up a washcloth. “Why you had to go through all this tonight?” “I’m sick.” Hortensia said softly. “And do you understand how you got sick?” Hortensia nodded. “This isn’t your fault, sweetheart. I want you to know that. You did nothing wrong.” Hortensia hung her head and began to sob. Jennifer’s throat ached with emotion. “No matter what he told you. You did nothing wrong. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.” “I-I- I don-don’t w-want-t-to- talk a-about it.” “I understand, sweetheart, I do.” She quietly washed her hair before pulling the plug on the bath. “But if you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll always be here for you.” She offered her a hand up and helped her out of the bath. “Where do you want to sleep tonight?” She asked as she toweled Hortensia’s hair dry. The girl remained quiet. “Would you like to stay with me tonight?” She slowly nodded her head. Jennifer led her to the bed and laid the towel down. “Go on and lay down. Whichever is most comfortable for you.” She dug for the supplies they had sent her home with. It was as Carol said. This was not a one time thing. They had found evidence, both vaginal and rectal, for current and past abuse. It was a miracle they didn’t find more permanent damage. It was going to take at least two months to heal physically. Emotionally was an entirely different story. She rubbed the medications and ointments on before sealing up the diaper. The both of them were going to have to get used to this routine. Her sphincter would take time to heal and strengthen. A wave of guilt crashed over her for her teasing. Hortensia had, in her own way, been calling out for help all this time. The list of injuries were extensive. Fissures, tears, scars, sprains, lacerations, the list went on. No wonder she couldn't stay seated. She handed her a shirt from out of her closet to wear and tucked her in. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go talk to Brian and let him know we’re back.” She turned to go, but stopped. She had to make sure. “Was it him? Brian?” Hortensia shook her head. She breathed a sigh of relief and made her way downstairs. “We’re back.” She whispered in his ear. He jumped awake. “You’re welcome to stay on the couch. It’s already three.” He rubbed his eyes and looked around. “How is she?” Jennifer shook her head. “It’s bad. I’m surprised they released her. They gave her a shot of penicillin. Lots of very invasive tests, questions, and procedures. She’s a mess.” “How are you?” “Also a mess.” She answered honestly. Tears had begun to slide down her face. He stood up and gave her a long, tight hug. She needed that. “How could someone do that to her?” She quietly cried into his shoulder. “Did she say what happened?” Jennifer shook her head. “She shuts down every time someone asks, but she had these drawings. I couldn’t get myself to look at them. Carol said I didn’t want to see them.” She clung onto Brian for a few more minutes before letting go. “I need to go give her pain medicine and go to bed. She’s sleeping in my room with me, so don’t come in.” She bent down and kissed Matilda’s head. The little girl stirred, but remained sleeping. “Goodnight.” She whispered and waved before heading back up the stairs. She got a cup of water from the bathroom and a pill before handing them over. “Did you get it down? It’s big.” Hortensia nodded and handed her the cup back. “Good girl.” She set it down on the nightstand next to her and climbed into bed before rolling over to face her. “I don’t know what the right thing to do in this situation is.” Jennifer said softly. Hortensia opened her eyes and stared at her. “I know what I want to do. I want to hold you, comfort you, and cry with you, but that might not be what you want. So I’m not going to touch you unless necessary. Everyone deals with this differently. But if you ever want or need to cuddle, or need a hug, or just need some affection. Come to me. Come climb in my lap while I’m in the recliner, put your head in my lap when I’m on the couch. And if you need space while you process all this, I’ll give you your space. Whatever you need Tens, don’t be afraid to ask.” “Will you read to me?” Hortensia asked softly. “Of course.” She reached for the book she had been reading on her nightstand and froze. Err, maybe not that one. She got up and went to Matilda’s room and pulled The Wonderful Wizard of Oz off the shelf. She slid back into bed and began reading until she could hear Hortensia’s deep even breaths beside her. Jennifer tore a piece of paper off a notepad and stuck it between the pages before turning off the light and shutting her eyes. “Goodnight, Tens,” Jennifer whispered. “I love you.”
  5. There's been one person who's guessed everything right, and i'm like... damn it xD
  6. I was afraid of it getting pulled after all the work I’ve put into it cause it’s a sketchy topic, but it’s been kind of obvious it was going in this direction for a while
  7. Just one more hour, Jennifer thought as she stretched. Who’d have thought being the boss would be so… boring. It was nothing but paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork. “How’s it going over there, Matilda? You’ve been so quiet today.” Jennifer asked. “Hmm?” the girl looked up from her textbook. Jennifer wished she could tune out the world so easily. Everything was so distracting. The window, where she could see the kids outside playing. How she wished she could join them again. To be able to turn off her mind and forget about the world for thirty minutes, where nothing else mattered but the ball in your hand or the jump rope under your feet. “Is Hazel co-” Matilda started to say, but stopped when the ringing phone cut her off. “Yes, they're coming over tonight.” Jennifer said, butterflies beginning the swarm in her stomach at the thought. She picked up the phone. “Hello? This is Miss Honey.” She frowned. The top form teacher. Now what? Hortensia. Disruptive. Again. What a surprise. Jennifer shut her eyes in annoyance. Why couldn’t she deal with her for once? She was leaving in two days. If she wouldn’t stay seated in her chair then make her stand in the corner or something. But before she could even get a word in, Mrs. Pearl was already sending her to Jennifer’s office. Great. “Guess who’s coming?” Jennifer said sarcastically after hanging up the phone. Matilda snorted. “Maybe she just misses us.” Matilda giggled. “Should I open a window just in case?” Jennifer pressed her fist to her mouth to keep herself from laughing. Carol said she had been sent home for soiling her clothing again yesterday. She sighed when she heard a knock on the door. “Come in.” Jennifer called out. She put on her best rigid and strict face. A feat which was getting easier with her everyday. She was done playing around. But the face that poked their head around the door wasn’t Hortensia. It was Brian. Jennifer stared at him, eyes wide and grinned. “What are you doing here?” Not that she was complaining. She stood up and came around the desk to give him a hug. “Thought I’d come by a little early.” He held out an iced coffee to her. “Thank you!” She gasped, as her eyes widened. “Woah, that’s a lot of pictures!” a small voice said from around Brian’s legs. Hazel was staring wide eyed around the room. “We wanted to add our own.” Jennifer beamed. “Go on and show her what you drew for her.” Brian coaxed. Hazel handed over the piece of paper. Jennifer looked it over eagerly as Hazel pointed to every stick figure in her family, standing and waving in front of her house. Underneath it had her name and age. “And that’s you, Matilda, and Tens next door.” Jennifer’s smile faltered a moment. She did understand Hortensia was not her kid, right?” “I love it, sweetie, thank you. I’m going to hang it up here with my other favorites.” She taped it up next to the framed oil pastel portraits and giraffe. “Woah, who did those?” Brian asked. He came closer and examined them. “Did you buy these? No, wait, that’s Matilda in this one, isn’t it?” “Someone set them on my desk. I have no idea who. I wish I knew, I’d have them teach art classes.” “You’d think someone this good would put their name on the bottom.” Brian mused. “Where’s Tens?” Hazel asked. There was a knock on the door. Jennifer grinned and opened the door. It was time for her first round of punishment. “Hello, Hortensia, please, come in.” “Ten’s!” Hazel cried excitedly, bear hugging the girl the moment she stepped inside. Hortensia let out an audible “oof”. The older girl looked very uncomfortable. “Not so tight!” Jennifer warned. Didn’t want the kid to soil herself again. “Hi.” Hortensia managed to get out. She had her backpack dangling from one arm and a pained grimace on her face. “Will you come over and play a game with us after school? Please, we’re playing Dungeons and Dragons!” Hazel said. “Dungeons and Dragons?” A new voice asked. “Oh! The boyfriends here. Jen, you do realize you're dating a nerd, right?” “Hi Carol.” Jennifer said. “And yes, he is a nerd.” She was well aware of this fact. She found it endearing. “Did you need something?” “Oh, is that iced coffee?” She asked. “It’s so hot.” Jennifer cradled her cup protectively to her chest. “I’ll settle for the key to the supply cabinet, thanks.” Jennifer tossed her a keyring. “Well, I’ll let you get back to work, just wanted to give you our offerings and let you know we’re in the area earlier than expected.” Jennifer smiled and held up her cup. “Very much appreciated.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “I was really bored with this.” She gestured to her desk. “I can’t concentrate today.” “Maybe a quick kiss will help.” He put his lips to hers before pulling away. “This is very…” Jennifer grinned before kissing him back. “Very distracting.” she whispered. “Will you come?” Hazel pleaded. “Please.” “You’re welcome to come over, if you want.” Jennifer said. Hortensia bit her lip. “I can’t.” Hortensia mumbled. “I’m grounded.” That’s right. Tens was here for punishment. She had gotten distracted. “Have a seat and wait for me. I’ll deal with you soon.” She walked Brian and Hazel out to their car, and told them to go ahead and let themselves in. She headed back to her office with a spring in her step. Fifty more minutes. Her head was so full of thoughts of cuddling up with him on the couch that she almost ran head first into a man standing in the hallway. “Oh, I’m so sor-” Her voice trailed off. She spun around. Where had he gone? One second he was there, and the next… “Are you alright, Miss Honey?” one of the prefects asked. “Have you seen a man in here? Just now. Tall. Blonde.” “No, Miss Honey, I haven’t seen anyone.” Jennifer rubbed her eyes. Maybe she was tired. She hoped she had the energy tonight to stay up. Last time he was over she had fallen asleep on his shoulder during the movie and drooled on his shirt. He was still teasing her about it. Maybe that’s why he had brought her coffee. “Nevermind, I’m imagining things.” she walked towards her office, an uneasy feeling now in the pit of her stomach. She opened the door and jumped. He was there, standing over Hortensia, staring down at her. “Can I hel-” He vanished! She let out an inaudible moan. Another ghost! Why? Hortensia slowly turned in her seat to stare up at her. “Did you see that?” “See what?” “That man standing behind you! I just saw him out in the hallway, and then just now.” She let out another yelp. There was a transparent woman sitting in her desk chair with her finger to her lips. She heard a faint “shh” in her ear before the woman vanished. Boring, yes, she missed her boring day already. How nice of her boyfriend to stop by and bring her coffee and the ghost of his dead wife. “Don’t go.” Hortensia said softly. Jennifer looked to her and then to her empty desk chair. “You saw her?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia nodded. “That’s Hazel’s mom. I like her.” she said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “I met her when I was staying there. She visits me sometimes.” Jennifer's mouth hung open. “She visits you?” Why were different ghosts attracted to her? Amber and now this man Amber didn’t want her discussing. Not like she was going to take orders from a ghost. “Who’s the man?” “You Da man!” Jennifer let her face fall into her palm. “There was another ghost when I walked in standing behind you.” “There was?” Hortensia looked around the room. “Have you seen other ghosts besides her?” “A couple of kids.” “I’ve seen a kid in animal pajamas.” “Oh, yeah, I’ve seen her too, but she’s not one of them.” “Do you know who these children are?” Hortensia slowly nodded her head. “Well?” “The kids they dug up.” Jennifer felt her stomach flip. “Billy’s one of them.” “Billy? I-” Her words failed her. “It’s hard to focus in class when four ghosts want to play with you.” Jennifer opened her mouth and then shut it. All the talking and disruptive behavior… She’d be sending her off to a psychiatric consult if she hadn’t herself been haunted by her boyfriend's ex. “I haven’t seen them.” Jennifer said. “Yeah you have, you tried to get one of them to solve the math problem you put on the board.” Hortensia said. Jennifer couldn’t remember. She had been so focused on showing Mrs. Pearl Hortensia was smart. Very smart. Not Matilda smart, that was a whole nother level of intelligence, but if she could just apply herself, she’d easily get top marks in her grade. Jennifer put her head in her hands. This was too much. “There’s one right behind you.” Hortensia said. Jennifer spun. “Just kidding.” Oh this kid… Why had she been sent to her again? “ I can’t sit anymore.” Hortensia stood up and leaned against the wall, knocking a few pictures to the floor. Jennifer scowled. Now she remembered. She was refusing to stay seated. “Sit. Down. Hortensia.” Jennifer growled. The girl frowned and stared at the chair. Finally she shook her head. “Really?” This girl was getting on her nerves. Insinuating circumstances or not. “It hurts.” she mumbled. “What hurts?” “My ar-my butt. It burns.” Jennifer pinched the bridge of her nose and looked up at her. She frowned. She could see the grimace of pain on her face as she shuffled in place. Jennifer looked at the clock. Thirty minutes left. “Have you talked to Mrs. Rodgers about this?” “Why? She only has ice.” “Not this year. C’mon, follow me.” Jennifer stood up, “Matilda, we’re going to Carol’s office, I’ll be ba-” She stared at the girl hunched over on her desk, face planted in a book. Jennifer grinned. Don’t need a nap, huh? So that’s why she was so quiet through all this. She left her office, Hortensia shuffling along behind her. “Jennifer, hello, what can I do for you? Ready to share that iced coffee with me?” She was not. “I brought you a present.” She nudged Hortensia forward. “My butt hurts.” Hortensia moaned. “How thoughtful.” Carol said, lips pressed together as she eyed her. “Have fun.” Jennifer grinned. … “Alright, you know the drill.” Carol said. She hitched her thumb back towards the beds. “I guess you can lie down until school lets out.” Hortensia shuffled in place. “Do you have anything for it? It really hurts.” Carol frowned. “Not really much I can do. Your best bet’s soaking in the bath when you get home.” “There’s only a shower.” “There isn’t a tub in the house?” “In their bedroom, but I'm not allowed in there.” “Not even if you’re hurting?” Hortensia shook her head. “Does it itch?” She nodded. Carol scratched the back of her head in thought. “Alright, here.” She went to her desk and dug in her purse. “Go in the bathroom and wipe yourself down with this.” “A wet wipe? That’s all you have?” Hortensia scoffed. “It’s medicated, and it's mine.” “What’s it for?” “Piles.” “What’s that?” “Hemorrhoids, it’s an older person's problem, nothing for you to worry about. You probably didn’t clean yourself well enough, and that’s why it’s irritated.” “Does it cause sores?” “Hemorrhoids? Yes, quite painful.” “I think that’s what I have.” Carol scowled. “You’re a little young for that. Have you been constipated?” Hortensia shook her head. “I scratched it open and now it hurts!” “Rule number one: Keep your fingers out of your arse. I can’t believe I have to tell an eleven-year-old this. Go, go clean it. And wash your hands!” Hortensia glared at her before marching to the bathroom in the office. Carol sat at her desk and made a note of it in Hortensia’s folder. She frowned as she looked through all her past notes. This kid sure had been in her office a lot recently for butt related stuff. First soiling herself, now this. She was positive this had to do with hygiene, but she had said there was a sore. She flipped through the older notes. Reason for visit: Skinned knee. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Twisted ankle. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Crushed fingers. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Upset stomach. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Hurt feelings. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Panic Attack. Given Ice. Nothing unusual last year, but the year before that was interesting. Reason for visit: Rage attack. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Rage attack. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Rage attack. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Painful urination. Given Ice. Reason for visit: Pink Eye. Given ice. Reason for visit: Rage attack. Given ice. Reason for visit: Rage attack, Given Ice. Reason for visit: Soiled self. Given ice. Reason for visit: Pain in rectum. Given ice. Why so many rage attacks that year? She went back another year. Her stomach began to sink. She was noticing a pattern. Pain. Rage. Pain. Rage. She could hear a moan coming from the bathroom followed by crying. Shit! She didn’t like what she was seeing. Why hadn’t she noticed this before? She got up and knocked on the door. “Everything okay in there?” More sobbing followed by a “NO! It hurts!” “Come lie down when you can. I need to talk to you.” The bathroom door opened and a tear streaked face emerged. She followed her back to the beds and pulled up a chair. “You were in here for rectal pain two years ago. What caused it?” “I don’t know.” Hortensia said. “You were in my office for five rage attacks that month alone.” And that wasn’t counting all the attacks where they didn’t send her in. “Did something happen?” Hortensia shrugged. “This is important. We need to know.” Hortensia shrugged again. “Damn it, Hortensia! If something happened, you need to tell me!” Carol let out an agitated sigh. The girl had shut down. She went back to the cabinet and pulled out a pair of gloves. “Take off your pants. I want a look at that sore.” “I didn’t realize you were a arse doctor.” Hortensia said sarcastically. “You want to go to Camp Indoctrination?” Hortensia shook her head. “Then take off your pants, underwear too.” Carol locked the door as the girl got undressed. She bent down and looked. It was irritated, but that’s all. “I don’t see a sore.” “It’s inside.” Carol wanted a raise. She slipped the gloves on and spread it open. Fuck, that wasn’t a hemorrhoid. That almost looked like a…Her stomach dropped. She ripped off the gloves and collapsed in the chair. She had seen this plenty of times in her career. She felt numb. She stared at the girl before patting her on the back. “Get dressed. You need to go to the clinic.” “What? Why?” “Because you’re sick.” “Cynthia’s never going to take me.” “I’m taking you.” Hortensia stared at her a moment before sliding her underwear and pants back on. “If I’m not home in an hour I'll get in trouble.” Carol couldn’t make any promises, but if her hunch was right she wouldn’t be going back. She prayed she was wrong. …. “Jenny…” Him moaning her name was the sexiest thing she had ever heard. She had him pinned down on her bed, stroking him. Jennifer squeezed him harder, as she pulled away from his face and gasped for breath. She let out a soft disbelieving chuckle. She wanted him. It wanted him. Slow down. There were other things she still hadn’t tried. She reached into her nightstand drawer and felt around. She pulled out the bottle of cream. “Give me your finger.” she whispered. She squirted a glob of gel on it. “Put it on me.” He clumsily felt around, until she remembered what Carol had said. She moved his finger in place. Her head fell limply onto his chest. Her hand was on top of his keeping him in place. It was so warm. The difference was like night and day. She let out an involuntary groan. “Yes. Yes. Like that. Right there.” She moaned again. She was vaguely aware he had finished. She tried to resist the urge to wipe it off on him. “You’re so vocal tonight. It’s hot.” He whispered. “We’re definitely using that stuff again.” The phone was ringing by her head. She ignored it. They could leave a message. She was close. He was rubbing small, tight, circles. The feeling from the other night was coming over her. A moment later there was a knock on the bedroom door. She gritted her teeth. Not now Matilda! “MOM, MRS. RODGERS IS ON THE PHONE!” “TELL HER I’LL CALL HER BACK!” Jennifer shouted. She could hear a muffled voice outside her bedroom. “SHE SAYS IT’S AN EMERGENCY!” Reluctantly, she reached for the phone with her non sticky hand. “Hello?” She tried to keep her voice as normal and even tone as possible, but his fingers were still doing their thing. She listened. Hortensia was in the emergency room? She removed his hand from her panties and sat up. “Why? What’s going on?” She had only sent her to Carol’s so she wouldn’t have to deal with her. She didn’t know it was serious. “I will explain when you get here.” She hung up and jumped out of bed. “Everything okay?” “No, it’s Tens, she’s in the hospital.” She searched the room for her pants as visions of a mangled child splayed out in a hospital bed danced through her mind. Oh, what if she got hit by a car walking home? Or a bus? “I need to go.” “I’ll drive you.” They both threw their clothes back on and hurried down the stairs. “There you guys are.” Matilda said, sounding annoyed. “We’ve been waiting for you. How long does it take to show him your coin collection?” “Sorry, I’m very passionate about coins.” Brian said, a sheepish grin on his face. “Can we play now?” Hazel asked. “Sorry, change of plans. Hortensia’s in the hospital. I need to go see if she’s okay.” Jennifer said, grabbing her keys off the counter. She looked up and froze. The ghost man was back, now in her kitchen, gesturing impatiently for her to go. “Please tell me someone else sees him.” Everyone looked around before staring blankly at her. She’d take that as a no. They all piled into his van, ghost man included, as Jennifer gave directions. But as they got to the intersection, the ghost began pointing and gesturing to go left. Jennifer frowned. To get to the hospital, they’d have to turn right from here, not left. He continued to point left. The only thing left of here was the school, but why would he want her to go back there? She didn’t have time for this, but the man seemed desperate. Curiosity won out. “Go left, to the school. I left something there.” The ghost nodded his approval. If it wasn’t important, she could always grab her stuffed dog. “I’ll be right back.” The ghost also got out and gestured her forward. She followed him to her office. Everyone was gone now and the school was eerily quiet. She put the key in the lock and opened the door. She went to her desk and retrieved the worn stuffed animal. “Is this what you wanted me to get?” No. He was pointing down at the floor. She came around to the other side and saw a backpack sitting by a chair. Whose was this? She picked it up and opened it. She recognized that notebook. “You wanted me to get her backpack?” Jennifer asked. The ghost nodded and gestured for her to leave. “Why?” He again pointed to the door. Okay, okay. At least one of them cares about her homework. She piled back into the car with the stuffed dog and backpack and directed him to the hospital. When she got out of the car the ghost had rushed inside ahead. She hurried along after him, feeling like a dog owner getting pulled along by the leash. When she got inside she frowned. Carol was waiting for her. Along with a female police officer. She came forward, and before Carol could get a word out, the officer spoke. “Are you Jennifer?” “Yes?” She asked, confused. She looked to the officer then to Carol, who stood quietly with a grim stoic expression on her face. “I have some questions I need to ask you regarding Hortensia.” “Is she okay? What’s going on? Did she do something? Is she in trouble?” “She’s being removed from her current residence pending an ongoing investigation. You have been listed as her emergency contact. Are you prepared to take her in? If not, she will be placed in a group home.” “Yes. Yes! I’ll take her!” Her heart swelled with happiness. Finally! But… why? “Did something happen?” “You were right.” Carol said somberly. Jennifer’s stomach dropped. No! “Bruises?” Jennifer asked. That’s what she had been on the lookout for. “No, I’m afraid it’s much more serious than that.” She could feel stomach acid rising in her throat. “I found a sore in her anus.” Jennifer grimaced. “What? Is it serious? Is it infected or something?” “Yes, and yes.” Oh, no. She must be really sick. “I brought her here as soon as I saw it. I wanted a second opinion just to be sure it wasn’t a hair follicle or zit she scratched open or something before I raised any alarm bells.” “Okay?” “But the test came back positive.” “Positive for what?” Carol averted her gaze. “Positive. For. What?” “Syphilis.” … “I’M GOING TO KILL HIM! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!” Jennifer was straining, fighting, screaming and kicking to get out of Brian’s grasp. They were in the parking lot. Security had kicked her out. He had her pinned in place with his arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The more she thrashed the tighter he held on. “You need to calm down!” “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. I’M GOING TO KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH!” “You’re going to get yourself arrested!” “I’M GOING TO GUT HIM AND FEED HIS ENTRAILS TO THE PIGS!” “And who will look after her when everyone she cares about is in jail?” “SHE DESERVES TO BE THERE! HOW COULD YOU NOT LISTEN TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTER?” She went limp and began to sob. “H-how could t-they not know? I-It was so obvious!” It had happened to Jennifer just once and it had broken her. Hortensia was…Hortensia just a kid. And how long had this been going on for? He had… he had even sodomized her. He liked children. He liked the vulnerable. And what was more vulnerable than a girl with no more family left or an abused teenager asking for help? She flinched. His dead wife was in front of her, hands on Jennifers shoulders smiling sadly at her. A cancer patient. “Brian.” Jennifer asked softly. “Was your wife assaulted?” She could feel him stiffen against her. His grip laxed around her shoulders so that he was less restraining, more holding her against him. “In the parking garage of the hospital.” He said sadly. “She was already so weak from the chemo. She went downhill fast after that.” “So that’s why I can see you.” Jennifer whispered. His dead wif- Amber nodded. “And Hortensia.” She let out a yelp and jumped. She was suddenly surrounded by children on all sides. She recognized only one. Billy. He was the one she had called on in class. She looked around and gasped at the realization. He wasn’t just a child predator. He was a serial killer. He was the Buckinghamshire Boy Butcher, named for the four dead boys they dug up in the field. Four boys and one man. Her eyes searched for him, but he wasn’t in the crowd of restless spirits. It was odd, He didn’t fit Aidens MO. He had been so urgent for Hortensia to have her backpack. She still had it gripped in her hand. She should go see her. She hoped they would let her in now that she had calmed down. Jennifer wiped at her face. “You can let go. I’m okay.” He held her tightly for a moment in an affectionate embrace before rubbing at her shoulders. “You sure?” “Yeah, I need to go see her. I think i’ve calmed down enough now that I’ve got it out of my system. ” For now. She stared at the backpack. “She needs this for some reason.” She opened the zipper and reached inside for the dog. She pulled it out and frowned. Something green was all over its paw now. She rubbed at it, but it only smeared. Something…oily. She peeked further inside and pulled out a pack of strange looking crayons. “Oh, oil pastels, I haven’t used those in forever.” Brian said. Oil pastels? She opened her backpack all the way. She had seen a beige folder when she had shoved the dog in. Like the kind that had been left on her desk. She pulled it out and opened it. There was a note inside along with a painting of a woman sitting in a chair with a book next to a girl in a bed. Jennifer stared in amazement for a solid minute before she looked at the note. Dear Jenny, I’m sorry I broke your car and that I’ve been a pain in the arse all summer, even though you let me stay with you. I wish I would have had you as my teacher. You just make everything make sense. Mrs. Pearl kept accusing me of cheating on my math tests, until she saw me do that problem you put on the board. Did you see the look on her face? I wish I could still live with you instead of moving. You treat me like I matter. Cynthia acts like I’m a plague. The thing that I miss the most is you tucking me in at night and reading. (Don’t you dare tell anyone!) Jennifer couldn’t read the rest. Her eyes had begun to blur with fresh tears. She put the envelope back inside her backpack and zipped it up. “Would you mind watching Matilda for me? You can go back to my house and start the game. I don’t know how long I’ll be.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’ll call the house if I need a ride.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders one more time and whispered, “The police will handle this. He will get what’s coming to him in prison. They don’t take too kindly to pedophiles.” She walked through the automatic hospital doors and made her way to the front desk. The security guard who had thrown her out stepped in front of her blocking her path. She didn’t have time for this. She held up her hands. “I’m good now. I’m calm.” She was anything but. He had his arms folded across his chest eying her. “Please, I need to be with her. She’s just a kid.” “Steve, let her go.” He stared at her for a few more seconds before he backed down. She stepped around him and over to the window where a middle aged woman in scrubs was working. “Thank you.” she said softly. “What room is Hortensia…uhh…Smith?” She went by Smith, her mother’s maiden name, but it wasn’t her legal last name. It was her father’s last name, German and hard to pronounce, even harder to spell. “Or Bol, err Bul-” “I know who you’re looking for, I’ll take you back there.” Thank God for small towns. “If that was my kid i’d be raising hell too.” she said as they walked into the Emergency room. Jennifer stopped as she noticed a familiar face. “Matilda better not be hurt again.” The nurse who had looked after her daughter the last few trips playfully said when they met eyes. Jennifer shook her head. “I’m here for Hortensia.” The nurse's face fell. “I’m her guardian starting today.” “Can you take her for me, Meaghan?” her guide asked. The nurse, Meaghan, nodded before gesturing her off to the side. “She’s my patient.” “Has she said anything? And you know for sure it’s…sexual?” “Yes,” she said solemnly. “It’s sexual. She tested positive for Syphilis.” “And is there no other way to get it?” “It can be passed from mother to child at birth or through breastfeeding…” She saw a ray of hope. “But the signs of physical trauma indicate rough sexual intercourse with an adult male.” Jennifer shut her eyes. Him. “I want you to know we’re taking this very seriously.” “Has she said who?” She must have for them to take her out of Aiden’s house. “She was talkative when she was first brought in, but the moment the doctor started explaining what her symptoms were from, she shut down. She hasn’t said a word, not to me, the doctors, or the police.” Jennifer nodded in understanding. “I believe it’s her former guardian. She often claimed she hated it there. Her mother told me Hortensia had made allegations against him in the past.” Meaghan’s face crumpled in confusion. “If your kid is saying someone is hurting them, you get them away, you don’t make them their godparent.” “THANK YOU!” Jennifer said, clasping her palm to her forehead. “The police have to know about him! He’s a monster!” She watched Meaghan walk to the nurses station and pick up a clipboard and pen. “What’s this guy’s name?” “Aiden Redding.”
  8. “What happened a couple weeks ago?” Jennifer looked up from her paperwork. She rotated her cramped wrist. An hour on the adding machine and she was ready to chuck it out the window. “What do you mean?” she asked. She knew what Matilda was asking, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to share. “You were…” Matilda stopped to think, “inconsolable.” There were a few days she didn’t think she’d ever escape the pit of despair she had found herself in. She wasn’t out. But she was stable. Everyday was a step forward. Sometimes there were setbacks. Matilda had come back from recess and caught her crying last week. She still didn’t like being alone in her office. A plea to the kids for artwork had helped. Now her office was full of drawings of rainbows, animals, cars, people, and one very inappropriate rendering of Miss Trunchbull’s burning corpse. She kept it in her drawer for private viewing. Although there was no name printed on the bottom, she had a feeling she knew where it came from. But her two favorites she had framed. Matilda’s giraffe, even though Matilda vehemently opposed the idea, and another. She had found it on her desk the next morning. It was beautiful. Whoever had created this had amazing talent. It had to have been done by one of the staff members, all the student drawings had their names on the bottoms, like she had asked. It was a picture of Matilda bent down over her school desk in her cubby. Purple and yellow flowers were sprouting beneath her feet and all around her. Green leafy vines were running up the legs of her desk.. And next to her were the broken scattered remains of the chokey lying on the ground. Jennifer loved it. She had hung it in her line of sight. It reminded her she wasn’t in this alone anymore. She had someone in her life she had to keep going for. Someone in her life who made her “keep going’s” feel more and more like “living.” Her first thought would be an art teacher, but they didn’t have an art department. Or even the subject. Only a small handful of people even knew Matilda was back there, and all of them were staff members. Well, most of them. She had spotted a few top forms who were in trouble taking a peak, wanting to know what it looked like without the Chokey she supposed. Also, the picture had been done in oil pastels, and she doubted the school had any of those lying around. She had asked Carol if it was her, but she had laughed at the idea and explained she was more autistic than artistic. Her words, not Jennifer’s. “I found an old journal of Agatha’s in the air vent.” Jennifer said after silently debating with herself. “It made me remember some painful stuff.” “Oh.” Matilda said with a weak laugh. “I thought you were upset over Hortensia.” “I lost a baby.” Jennifer said. “They would have been a couple years older than you.” “You never told me you were pregnant! And…and…you had to have only been…” she began counting on her fingers. It was the only time she had ever seen Matilda struggle to wrap her head around a math problem. “I was young.” Jennifer said, fiddling with her pen. “I’m sorry.” Matilda said softly. She must have read the room because she didn’t ask anymore questions. No “Why didn’t you tell me?” or “Who was the father?” It was always hit or miss with her. Sometimes Matilda was so insightful Jennifer was certain she could read her mind. But then she’d follow it up with something so off the wall and out of left field (not to mention inappropriate) that Jennifer could relax knowing her own thoughts were safely inside her head. Dr. Renfield speculated it was due to Matilda’s heightened sense of nearby emotions she wasn’t able to yet distinguish from her own. Jennifer was thankful she had gotten the hang of tuning them out. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Matilda said. Jennifer smiled at her, an action which was becoming less forced and more natural everyday. “What happened last weekend?” “Last weekend?” Jennifer asked with a sickening feeling in her stomach. Please no. Please no. “I don’t think it was my own emotion.” She said, a puzzled look on her face. “Was it?” “What were you doing?” “Playing Playstation with Hazel.” Well, almost had them tuned out. “Wh-what did you feel?” “Hmm…” Matilda said. “Euphoric?” “Well that’s a big word for someone your age.” Mrs. Rodgers said as she poked her head in. Jennifer eagerly waved her in, welcoming the change of subject. “Who’s feeling euphoric?” “Matilda. Hazel was over last weekend and brought her Playstation. Matilda’s never played with one before.” Jennifer said. “She was having fun.” She explained, eyeing the girl. “I don’t know if it was me though. I was losing. What were you doing?” “Yeah, Miss Honey, what were you doing while the kids were distracted?” Carol whispered. Jennifer glared at her. “Talking with Brian in the backyard.” Jennifer lied. … “They won’t notice we’re gone.” He whispered in her ear. So they had gone out to the backyard at her insistence. There were no radios back there. They had climbed onto the porch swing together where she had let him stick his hand in her pants. It was nothing like the romance novels. Or like the other night on the phone. As soon as it would start to feel good, he would do something else or his hand would slip. Maybe her expectations had been too high after the other night. Or worse, what if she was into being watched? Either way, it had left her feeling disappointed. She had been excited to experience that again but eventually, she got too sore to keep going and it never happened. She didn’t tell him that though. …. “Oh, my girl’s already faking her first orgasm; they grow up so fast.” Carol said as they sat in her car on their lunch break. Jennifer groaned. “I’m still so raw.” Jennifer complained, shifting in her seat. She let out a sigh. “I thought…” She wasn’t sure how much she was willing to share. Carol eyed her eagerly like a puppy begging for food. “It would be better.” she admitted. “It’ll happen, don’t give up.” Carol said. Jennifer massaged the back of her head sheepishly. “It kinda, already did.” Carol clung onto her arm. “Jen!” She grinned. “So you two are sleeping together? It is getting serious!” Jennifer sank down in her seat. “No, I didn’t mean that, I meant…” Her eyes went wide. “The thing that happens…” She circled her wrist, hoping to be able to gloss over the details. No such luck. “Spit it out.” Carol teased. Jennifer slumped forward. “...Finish?” she asked with a grimace. “Or-gas-m.” Carol said, sounding it out as Jennifer shook her head. “Say it.” Carol said with a teasing grin on her face. “Orgasm.” Jennifer mumbled in embarrassment. “Well, don’t leave me hanging.” Carol said when Jennifer didn’t elaborate. “We, were, umm, talking on the phone, and he started talking about stuff.” “Stuff, huh?” Carol grinned. “Go on.” “Our night together may have come up.” Jennifer explained. “Yes?” She gave her a pleading look, but Carol wasn’t going to drop it. She sighed in defeat. “We were masturbating.” She finally mumbled. “And, yeah. It happened. So I thought him touching it would feel even better, but it didn’t. It kind of hurt, and he didn’t go inside! I wasn’t ready for that, and now I feel even less ready than before.” “Was he touching the right spots?” “No.” “Did you tell him where they were?” Jennifer sunk back down again. “Jen, you can’t expect him to get it right the first time going in blind. You have to give directions. The package isn’t getting delivered if you don’t give the address.” “Let’s talk about something else.” Jennifer mumbled. “Look, there’s nothing wrong with you, okay? All guys have trouble finding the clitorus, it’s a universal problem and for the rawness, use that cream next time. It’s hard to get in the mood when it’s uncomfortable. ” Jennifer wanted to smack herself. That’s what had been different. That little bottle of cream. Had her long fought nemesis had just become her new best friend? “So then who was feeling Euphoric? It certainly wasn’t you.” Carol laughed. Jennifer buried her head in her hands. “Him.” She mumbled in embarrassment. “Oh! Oh!” She felt Carol slap her on the back. “Wait, don’t tell me he came in his pants just from touching you.” “Eww, no.” All over her decorative pillows they had been canoodling behind. She hadn’t expected… so much of it. Touching it wasn’t as bad as she had expected it to be. And seeing the look on his face, head back and eyes closed utterly lost in the moment, had been rather thrilling. She was worried she wouldn’t be any good, or would somehow manage to hurt him, but he seemed to be enjoying himself just fine. “I, umm, returned the favor. ” Carol grinned, her desire for gossip now satiated. Jennifer stared out across the parking lot watching the kids at recess. She was slowly learning all their names. She had kept her aunts scheduled visits to the classrooms, not to show the teachers anything, but just to get to know the students. The younger children had been excited to see her, but to the older ones, she was a foreign entity. Her favorite visit had been last week to the top form classroom to teach math. She had written a rather difficult math problem on the board and asked if anyone could solve it. She offered extra credit to anyone who could, but none came forward. Eventually, she started calling on people, and when she had asked Hortensia, the classroom burst into giggles. Hortensia had given her a rather dirty look, but reluctantly came forward. You could hear a pin drop as she worked it out on the board, and when Jennifer announced it was correct, even her teacher was left speechless. It was the only time she had ever seen Hortensia smile since she had moved out. In the blink of an eye it was gone, but it had been there. “Good job, I’m proud of you.” Jennifer had said softly as she made her way back to her seat. Hortensia had looked almost startled at the words. It was clear that was not a phrase she had often heard. She scanned the kids in search of her, but frowned when she couldn’t find her. “Tens isn’t out here.” she mumbled, more to herself than anything. “She’s been spending her lunch in my office sleeping.” Carol said between bites of her sandwich. Jennifer scowled. “Why?” “Kid came in last week looking like she was going to drop. I offered to let her sleep during lunch and she’s come in every day since.” “But why? Isn’t she getting enough sleep at home?” Come to think of it, she had frequently been in trouble for sleeping in class. “Maybe they aren't as strict as you about bedtime.” Jennifer frowned. She couldn’t imagine that being the case. The bell rang signaling the end of recess. She’d get to the bottom of it another time. For now, it was time to go back to work. She rotated her sore wrist a few more times before reluctantly getting out of the car. She wasn’t looking forward to going back to the adding machine. She spotted Matilda making her way down the steps with her old classmates, but she was trailing behind, not interacting with them. Her frown deepened as she watched. She had a feeling she was missing Hortensia, even if she refused to admit it. Jennifer had been inviting Hazel over more and more so Matilda could have someone to play with, even if the only thing they had to bond over was video games. Work could wait a bit. She strode over to the playground, much to the delight of her old class. “Miss Honey!” They cheered. Jennifer smiled as a group of children ran up and gave her a hug. “I miss you all.” Jennifer said. She listened as Alice told her about her new backpack, and Nigel told her about his summer. “What do you guys think of the new equipment?” She gestured around. “It’s so big!” “Cool!” “I love it!” Jennifer beamed. She looked around the playground and spotted Matilda off by herself watching her. She waved her over. Hesitantly, Matilda came over. “What are you doing all by yourself?” Jennifer asked. Matilda shrugged. She looked around the group. “Do you guys want to play a game before I have to go back to work?” An excited cheer went up through the group. “Alright, you guys pick.” They decided on Telephone. Jennifer leaned down and whispered “I like Rose’s new haircut.” in Nigel’s ear. He passed the message on to Amanda and she passed it on to Eric, and on and on it went until the last child repeated a nonsensical babble of syllables. The group of children giggled. “Can we play Red Rover, Miss Honey?” Nigel asked. “I have to go back to work, sorry.” Jennifer said. The children let out a collective groan of disappointment. “Alright, alright, a couple rounds.” They cheered as they formed two separate lines and began to call each other over. Jennifer laughed. They always tried to get through her for some reason. Michael managed to barrel through two girls on the opposing side, who had more or less jumped out of his way in fright of getting their arms smashed. Now it was Nigel’s turn. He made a dash towards their line. She grimaced. He was heading straight for Matilda. She silently worried she’d block him with her powers and Jennifer would have to make up an excuse as to why he felt like he had run into an invisible brick wall. She bit her lip anxiously as she watched, half expecting him to fly backwards before he ever made contact. At the last second, he changed directions and went for Matilda’s other side where she was holding on to Lavender’s hand. Both girls strained to keep hold of each other, but Nigel broke through. Jennifer let out a relieved breath and smiled as the three of them laughed together. Mission accomplished. She winked at Matilda before she excused herself. She really had to go back to work now. Jennifer gave a final wave good-bye before returning to her office. She should play with the kids more often, she thought to herself. That was fun. Her smile faltered a moment as she made her way to her desk. There was a large beige envelope addressed to “Jenny” waiting for her. Curious, she picked it up. It didn’t look like anything official. Anything school related was usually addressed as “Headmistress” or “Miss Honey”. Not many people called her Jenny here. She carefully undid the little metallic clasps and opened it before pulling out the contents. She let out a gasp. It was another oil pastel rendering. Her smile returned, even larger now as she took in the artwork. It was of two hands clasped together, one big and the other small. The detail was amazing. She stared at it a moment longer before taking it out to show the other staff members in the office. Now she was more curious than ever to know who had done this, but no one saw anyone go into her office while she was at lunch. “Maybe you have a secret admirer.” Carol laughed. “Your boyfriend’s got competition.” she said when Jennifer went in there to ask her. Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Hey, what if it is your boyfriend?” “I don’t think so.” Jennifer said. Although she’d ask him tonight just to cross that off her possible list of suspects. “I never told him about asking for artwork.” And she’d know if he was this talented at drawing. She’d played Pictionary with him a few weeks ago. He was not. How that blob was supposed to be a chair, she’d never know. “Maybe it’s Hortensia.” Carol suggested. Jennifer snorted. The level of detail and thought that went into these. The emotion. Someone had put their heart and soul into these. All she had ever seen Hortensia draw was that hideous face. And the picture of her aunt's charred corpse sitting in her drawer. “It’s an adult.” Jennifer said. “That’s not something a kid could draw.” Carol shrugged. “Maybe it’s Hortensia, what?” A groggy sounding voice asked. Carol winced. “I forgot she was still here.” Carol whispered before turning towards the back of the room. “Time to get up and go back to class, sleeping beauty.” “Five more minutes.” “Up. I forgot you were here and gave you an extra fifteen. You’ll be lucky if your teacher doesn’t give you a paddling for being late.” Jennifer could hear the scrambling creak of sanitary paper before stepping in front of the door to stop Hortensia’s retreat. “Why are you sleeping during your breaks?” Jennifer asked, slightly taken aback by the dark circles and bags underneath her eyes. She looked exhausted. “I’m tired.” Hortensia mumbled. That was an understatement. “Are you staying up too late? What time are you going to bed? You're not playing your GameBoy when you should be sleeping, are you?” Jennifer asked in rapid succession. Hortensia opened her mouth to argue, estimated it was too much work and finally shook her head. She took a step and stumbled. “Honey, are you feeling okay? You look like you can hardly hold yourself up.” “I’m tired.” She mumbled again. “But I can’t sleep.” “Why can’t you sleep?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia looked uncomfortable. She gazed over at the boy who was holding an ice bag to his wrist. “You know what, come to my office.” Hortensia hung her head and followed along. “You’re not in trouble.” She threw in. “Oh, usually when someone tells me to go to your office…” “I just want to talk. Matilda’s at lunch.” Jennifer said motioning for her to sit down and shut the door. “Why aren't you sleeping? What’s going on?” “I don’t know. I toss and turn all night.” Hortensia said. “And I can’t stop thinking about that stupid camp!” Hortensia roared, but without steam to power her, it sounded more like a desperate mewl. “How long until you go?” “Why? Are you counting the days?” Hortensia scoffed. “You’re not in trouble now, but keep up that attitude and you will be.” Jennifer said, arms crossed. Hortensia deflated in her seat. “Five days.” she said softly. “Maybe sooner.” Jennifer sighed. She was out of ideas. She had called around asking the city on how to get Hortensia back, but these people had already taken legal custody of her. It wasn’t a matter of bribing the kid to want to stay with her, Hortensia didn’t have a choice. And there was nothing Jennifer could do about it. Unless they were found to be legally unfit, Eve’s wishes won. She had tried to voice concerns of her safety, but they said they had already investigated and found the claims to be unsubstantiated. What it boiled down to was proof. It made her furious, why wouldn’t you err on the side of caution when it came to a child? She had been keeping an eye on Hortensia from afar, going as far as to ask her teacher to report any odd behavior or visible injury. She seemed to have taken this to heart because she didn’t hesitate to send Hortensia to her office for the slightest infraction. “Are you taking your medicine?” The look on her face told her she hadn’t. “It will probably help. It might be the reason you can’t lie still at night.” “Cynthia took them. I told you.” Hortensia said, but her eyes shifted away. “Ten’s… I’m serious. You can go through withdrawal sickness if you suddenly stop taking them. How have you been feeling? How’s your stomach been?” “Have the shi- the runs a lot.” Hortensia mumbled. “Keeps leaking in my pants.” There was too much information. “Well, if you happen to find them, you know, lying around, start taking them again and I’ll bet you’ll feel and sleep better.” Hortensia seemed to consider this. “I like staying the night in a tent in the backyard though. Cynthia leaves me alone.” Jennifer chuckled. “It’s nice of them to let you play in their tent during the summer. That does sound fun. Less bugs than the lake.” Hortensia laughed too but it was a different sound. “They don’t let me, they make me. It’s the quarantine tent.” Jennifer’s face paled. Would Cynthia really go that far to avoid germs? I mean, the temperature was fine now, but what about when it snowed? “Oh, I fake sick all the time to stay in it. It’s fun, unless you’re actually sick, then you fake well. Unless it’s like winter or something.” Jennifer let out a breath of air. “So you’re faking sick to avoid them?” “At least until last night when I soiled her dining room chair.” Hortensia said before shaking her wrists for added sarcasm. “Careful or she might put you in a nappy too.” “Nah, just got yelled at and sent outside.” Hortensenia said before scowling. “I didn’t even know I had had to go. I just got up out of my seat and it was all over my pants.” Jennifer wrinkled her nose at the imagery. It was almost like she could smell it. “And how are you feeling today? Do you feel sick at all?” Just in case it wasn’t the medicine, she couldn’t risk her passing around another case of the stomach bug to the other students. “I don’t feel sick, I’m just tired.” Hortensia said. “Not like normal tired. Like tired tired.” Like she was one minute away from falling out of her chair tired. Like she was going to collapse mid conversation tired. She was leaning precariously to the side of her chair. “Here,” Jennifer said, suddenly standing up. “Come lie down over here. This is Matilda’s nap spot.” She grabbed the padded mat and laid it on the floor. Matilda wouldn’t have an issue with skipping a lie down anyway. Hortensia slowly pushed herself up with great effort and clumsily made her way over and collapsed onto her stomach. Suddenly she giggled. It sounded a bit delirious. “What?” “I was in the Chokey around this time last year. Never thought a year from now the headmistress would be putting me down for a nap in the same spot.” “If you have the energy to make jokes, you have the energy to go back to class.” Hortensia immediately shut her eyes and went quiet. Jennifer silently laughed. She pulled a drawer open and retrieved a certain stuffed dog before getting up and placing it down next to her. Hortensia’s arms shot out and wrapped the dog in a tight embrace. She had been using it to comfort any crying children who found themselves in her office. “I’ll give you an hour, but then you have to go back to class.” Jennifer said. The only thing she heard in response was Hortensia’s snores. She didn’t even wake up when Matilda came barging back in from recess thirty minutes later. Matilda wrinkled her face at her desk. “Did you fart?” she asked half giggling. “No.” Jennifer chuckled, but sniffed the air. “I don’t smell anything.” She went back to work, but then the smell hit her. “Hey, hey, don’t be trying to pass that off on me. That is all you missy.” She waved a hand in front of her face. “It isn’t me!” “I told you i’d be happy to pack you a lunch too. God, what are they serving you here to eat? No more cafeteria food for you.” “Uh, mom, c’mere.” “No way, so you can gas me?” Matilda shook her head and pointed. Jennifer stood up and looked. She frowned. Hortensia had soiled herself in her sleep. There was a medium sized wet spot on the back of her pants. She bent down and shook her. Hortensia groggily lifted her head and looked at her. “You need to go to Mrs. Rodgers office. You’ve had an accident.” Jennifer whispered. Hortensia’s eyes widened in panic as she patted her front. It was dry. “Other end, sweetheart. You’re sick. You need to go home.” “I’m too tired to walk home.” She grumbled. She felt her backside and froze, her eyes becoming more alive. “Why does this keep happening?” she said softly. “I don’t feel it.” “I can’t take you to the doctor, but I can take you to our school nurse, c’mon.” She patted Hortensia’s back and pulled her up. She saw the grossed out look on Matilda’s face. She didn’t want to know. “You brought her back.” Carol said, confused. “And what’s that smell?” “Can you call her guardians? She’s sick.” Jennifer peeked at the seat of her pants, which were now trailing liquid down the back. Carol came around and looked. Her face scrunched up, not in disgust, but curiosity. She’d leave her to it. She had windows that needed opening in her office. “Feel better, Tens.” “Yeah, I’m not laying on that.” Matilda said when she came back to her office. Matilda had already opened the window. She didn’t blame her. Jennifer found a tub of disinfecting wipes and got to work cleaning it. It didn’t look like any had gotten on anything, but just in case. She even flipped it over, but Matilda still refused. She picked the stuffed dog up and put it back in her drawer. … They hadn’t been playing together enough, Jennifer thought as she looked up from her book at Matilda, who was curled up with a book of her own on the other sofa across from her. Jennifer stuck her hand in the popcorn bowl and pulled out a few pieces. She watched her target carefully, before sending a piece flying and landing on Matilda’s head. Jennifer quickly looked back down at her book, and tried not to laugh. She could see Matilda out of the corner of her eye searching for an explanation. Eventually, when she looked back down, Jennifer sent another piece soaring at her. She repeated the process, until she saw the bowl begin to levitate next to her. It rose high into the air as Jennifer tilted her head up curiously and followed it, until it upended itself over her head. She stared at Matilda, who stared right back. “Oh, it’s on.” They both dove for bits of kernels and began chucking it at each other in an all art war, both of them giggling like mad. At one point Jennifer was on her back, Matilda straddling her waist, hands locked together in front of them as Matilda had ten projectiles hovering in the air above them. With no way to block, one by one they hit her forehead in rapid fire. “No, that’s cheating!” Jennifer laughed. “It’s not cheating, I’m just using what I got.” Matilda said with a grin. The room was a disaster, tiny crushed pieces of popcorn were everywhere and as they both laid together on the floor panting, Jennifer didn’t care in the slightest. “Sorry I’ve been so distant lately.” Jennifer said. “I miss this, just the two of us laughing.” “That’s what happens when you get a boyfriend.” Matilda said with a sigh before laughing as Jennifer smacked her with a pillow.” “You like him.” Jennifer said. “He’s not as bad as I first thought.” Matilda relented. Both Hazel and Matilda had been wrestling with him in the backyard the other day. It was the first time she had seen Matilda, not just tolerating, but playing with him. Jennifer nearly had a stroke when she saw him pick her up and dangle her in the air by a leg, but the laughter coming from her had made her pause. Now, Jennifer thought, if only they could do something about those ghosts.
  9. Brian was right about one thing. Cordless phones were the way to go, Jennifer thought as she stretched out on her bed with the phone to her ear. No more standing in the kitchen glued to the wall trying to hide from Matilda. She had let him talk her into upgrading and she was glad she had. She had never spent so much time on the phone since she had met him. Telemarketers were usually the only calls she had ever received. “So how was your first week as the boss?” he asked. “Stressful!” Jennifer answered. She didn’t much fancy being the one in charge. Everyone was now coming to her with problems she didn’t have the answers for. Budgets, testing, and organizing fundraisers to start after school clubs. It all made her head spin. “I miss being in the classroom.” Her biggest hurdle then was getting the kids to share and not catching the flu when it made its rounds. “How’s it having Matilda with you?” “It’s been good. She’s so quiet I hardly remember she’s even there. She’s flying through work as usual though.” The hardest part was getting her to lie down for a nap. It was always, ‘one more chapter.’ “I don’t know how you get anything done with your kid right there. Hazel would be complaining she’s bored within the first ten minutes and Zach and Nick would be making a mess of the place.” “Oh, she’s a handful in her own way.” Jennifer said. “The girls got into a fight the first day back and she yanked Hortensia off the monkey bars with her powers.” She could hear him laughing on the other end and smiled. “I still can’t believe she can do that. I thought maybe because she was so smart she could make it look real, like sleight of hand or something, but nope. Levitated the couch, with me still on it, straight into the air.” Jennifer groaned. “She knows she isn’t supposed to use them on people, but I swear it’s like preaching to a brick wall. It feels like everything I say goes in one ear and out the other.” That was a problem with living with a little genius. She thought she knew better than everyone else. It didn’t help that she probably did. “She’s had free reign of them in the summer, but she’s having a hard time remembering to hide them.” “Is she really forgetting?” Brian asked with a laugh. “Probably not.” Jennifer agreed. Although she knew she was guilty of sending mixed messages. “She makes a great personal assistant though.” “How’s Hortensia?” Jennifer let out a long exaggerated groan. “She’s in trouble almost everyday. She’s giving her teacher attitude, blowing off homework assignments, late coming back in from recess, sleeping during class, getting in fights with other students. All the progress we made during the summer. Gone.” Jennifer let out another groan. “It’s like she’s a completely different kid. She’s so angry all the time. I asked her if she was keeping up with her medicine and she said her neighbor threw it all out.” “It might be why she’s so irritable.” Brian suggested. “You can’t just stop that stuff cold turkey.” “Yeah, but I don’t know if Cynthia really threw it out or Hortensia just stopped taking it.” Both were possible. “I’m so glad it’s the weekend.” “Any big plans?” “Not a one.” She said with a happy sigh. Matilda would probably want to go to the library. Or the arcade. Or both. The house had been so quiet with Hortensia gone. Jennifer had assumed she would relish the peace and quiet after all the chaos she had brought. The telly rarely turned on. Everything was spotless. But she found the quiet unsettling rather than calming. She could hear the house settling at night. Jennifer had even gotten up to yell at Hortensia to go back to bed, only to remember when she descended the stairs into an empty and dark living room. “What about you?” She asked. “I’ve got a project for work I need to do in the morning, but that’s about it. Nothing fun…unless you want to come over and change that.” He hinted. “You’ll have to come over here.” She reminded him. “Knowing your dead wife is watching us make out is unsettling.” He laughed. “Some people are into being watched.” He teased. “I’m not interested in a throuple.” “So, then, what are you interested in? Hmm?” Jennifer swallowed. “I-I don’t know.” She admitted. “You like kissing?” “I do.” “And cuddling?” “Yes.” “What about” he paused for emphasis, “spanking?” Jennifer nearly choked on air. Where had that come from? She could feel the heat begin to rush to her face. “Uhh, what?” He began to chuckle and she relaxed a bit. He was joking. Right? “Have you given it any more thought? The role play thing?” “N-not really.” She mumbled. “Kind of got distracted by the whole haunted house.” “You like the pajamas, didn’t you?” “They were cute.” She admitted. “But I'm not entirely convinced you didn’t plan that just so you could see my breasts.” They both laughed. “They were lovely breasts.” He said. Jennifer had to clamp a hand to her mouth to keep from letting out an embarrassed moan. She didn’t particularly see anything “lovely” about her body. “I would quite like to make their acquaintance again.” He chuckled. “Maybe I could touch them next time.” Jennifer let out a nervous laugh. She had been wondering why he hadn’t last time. Did he think they were too small? Too big? Too average? Too weird looking? “Why do guys like them so much? They're just balls of fat.” “Because they're forbidden.” He whispered. “It’s a good thing guys don’t have breasts, we’d be fondling ourselves all day. We’d be using them as stress balls in the middle of meetings.” “Pfft.” Jennifer laughed. She thought of the boys squeezing themselves in the middle of tests. “You lot are already fondling yourselves all day. I can’t say I’ve ever had the desire to touch them.” “That’s just what someone who wants to touch them would say. Go on, give them a squeeze. Tell me touching breasts is not one of the best feelings in the world.” “I can think of a few better feelings.” Jennifer said, amused. The best feelings were a piece of new chalk in between her fingers. It was the feeling of a book in her hands. The taste of ice cream on a hot day. Running her fingers through Matilda’s hair. The feel of Brian’s bare chest against her cheek as she listened to his heart beat. The feeling of kissing him. Of his hands exploring her skin… She cleared her throat. Where was her mind going? She could hear him laughing. “What?” “I asked what you thought was a better feeling. I guess you were busy imagining what those might be…” He teased. “Maybe.” “Oh, so what is it?” he asked in a teasing, sultry voice. “New chalk.” she said quickly. “New chalk? What kind of answer is that? How boring.” He chuckled. “That’s just because you don’t know the pain in your wrist from trying to write with only a nub left.” She said, feigning indignation. “ Much more satisfying than holding onto these lumpy things.” “Lumpy things?” He asked with a laugh. “Oh, yes, describe them more.” “Got little bumps all over them, and this weird dark circle in the center, oh, and sometimes you have to pluck hairs that grow around the nipples.” “Ohh, hairy nipples, oh yes, you're great at this. Mmm.” They both snorted. “Great at this? Great at what?” she asked with a laugh. “You know, phone sex.” Jennifer laughed. “Phone sex? What’s phone sex? Is that a thing?” “Of course it’s a thing.” He chuckled at her confused babble. “It’s like, when you start describing what you're wearing and doing. You use your imagination and words to set a scene.” “You can have sex with words? People really do that?” She asked. “Yeah,” he said more seriously now. “Obviously touching yourself doesn’t feel as good as being touched but…” “Touching myself? Is that what you do? I thought it was just pretend?” “Well, you can make it up as you go, but it wouldn’t be very intimate or fun for you.” “So it’s like audio guided masturbation?” She asked with a crinkled face. He laughed. “That’s a very clinical way of looking at it.” “Is that why you wanted me to get a cordless phone?” she teased. “Yes.” He answered bluntly. Jennifer held her breath in surprise. She had only been joking. “If you're interested. I thought maybe it might help your anxiety about it.” “I- still don’t really understand how it works.” “Where are you?” “In my room.” Jennifer asked with a confused smile. “Sitting on my bed.” “Are you alone?” He asked, his voice soft and serious. Jennifer let out a nervous laugh. “Yes?” “Matilda’s gone to bed?” “Yes? It’s after ten.” “And is your door closed?” “It is.” She said before swallowing. “A-and you?” “I’m in my room with the door closed in bed as well.” He said. “I’m not in bed. I’m on my bed.” She laughed. “Not that it matters.” “What are you wearing?” She looked down at herself and let out a nervous laugh. “My nightgown.” “Is it sexy?” He teased. Jennifer chuckled. “Absolutely not.” “Describe it.” “Uhh, well, it was blue at one point, but now it's more grayish. It has moth holes on the back, and the front has kind of a flowery design on it. It’s apparently uncomfortable on the skin, so I’ve been told.” “Oh, interesting.” He said, slow and drawn out. “Not really.” Jennifer giggled. “It has a Ben and Jerry’s chocolate stain on the front. The first couple days last week I couldn’t eat anything, then I couldn’t stop binging. It wasn’t pretty. I think I threatened to throw Matilda’s doll into a volcano if she touched my ice cream at one point.” “Where does it come down to your legs?” He asked, although she could hear his voice shaking from laughter. “When I stand, below my knees.” She wrapped a piece of thread around her finger and pulled. “Where is it now that you're sitting?” She looked. “Mid thigh.” He went silent for a moment. “What’s it look like?” She chuckled. “My thighs? Like…thighs?” “Light Meat or dark?” “What am I, a chicken?” “You both have thighs and breasts.” “I don’t think I’m ever going to think of chicken breasts the same.” “Chicken titties.” “Ok then, what are you wearing?” “Absolutely nothing.” He chuckled. “Not even boxers?” Jennifer asked, nose wrinkled at the thought. “Don’t you worry Hazel will come in?” “Hazel’s usually good about staying in bed, besides, we're not talking about the kids right now.” “Oh? Right, we're talking about, what did you call them, chicken titties?” Jennifer asked with a wry smile. “Oh yes, yes, very sexy. So wet and, “He paused. “Moist.” Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Don’t get yourself too worked up thinking about that chicken.” Jennifer teased. “Hmm, too late for that.” He said. “How could I ever compete with a slab of juicy, wet and naked chicken?” “While it does sound appealing, I’d much prefer some wet and naked Jennifer.” She felt her cheeks flush. “Eww, why would you want me all sweaty, or do you mean out of the shower?” “Not what I meant, but I'll take both.” He laughed. “Then what did you mean?” She asked with a confused sort of giggle. “You’re playing with me.” “I’m not.” “You’re…not?” “No.” She said with a wince. “Oh, I am going to have so much fun corrupting you.” He let out a playful maniacal laugh. “Women get wet when they get turned on, you know, down there.” “Oh, right.” Jennifer said. “My mind just wasn’t going there. Sorry, I don’t get umm, wet.” He seemed to find this amusing. “What?” “Yes you do.” “It doesn’t work right.” He began to laugh again. “What?” she asked. “My thighs beg to differ.” “Your thighs?” “Yeah, you were sitting on them while we were making out.” “I-I was sweaty. It was hot!” She said mortified. “You. Were. Soaked.” He teased. “I was not.” she mumbled. “God, and the way you were staring at me when I was kissing your stomach. So hot. And then when you told me about your dream, I wanted to yank your panties down right there and finish you.” Jennifer let out an embarrassed moan, but her stomach fluttered at the thought. “I’m hard right now just thinking about it.” “W-why?” she blurted out. “Because you’re sexy as hell.” “N-no, I’m not, i-if you saw you’d understand.” “Does that mean you’re going to show me sometime?” “You’d leave, if you saw.” Jennifer said softly. “If I saw, I’d get down on my knees and finish what we started earlier.” Brian crooned. Jennifer's breath caught in her throat. “Are you thinking about it?” She remained quiet. “Are you?” “Yes.” She admitted softly. Her stomach fluttered again. Her skin felt hot. More sensations she wasn’t familiar with. Her nightgown felt like it was clinging to her arms. “And how does that make you feel?” “Like it’s too hot for this nightgown.” “Then take it off.” She eyed her bedroom door before she pulled the material up and over her head. She breathed a sigh of relief as the cool air met with her skin. “What are you wearing now?” “Panties.” “What do they look like?” “It’s the same ones I was wearing then. Purple cotton. The kind that comes in a six pack from the store.” “Oh, I hope they’re as wet as they were then. Are they?” “No.” “Did you check?” “No.” she giggled nervously. “How do you know if you don’t check?” Hesitantly, she reached down. Dry. ish. “Not wet.” she informed him. “I think we need to change that.” He said. She let out another nervous sounding laugh. “Relax, get comfortable, close your eyes.” She did. “Do you ever play with yourself?” “No.” “Not even a little?” “Not in…a long time.” “What’s a long time?” “Seven or eight years.” “That is a long time. Did you finish?” “No.” “Why not?” “My aunt walked in.” And ruined her life. “Awkward.” “Something like that, first and only time I ever tried without being told.” “Do you remember what turned you on?” “A book I was reading.” “What were you reading?” “I don’t remember. A romance novel.” “You like to read romance novels?” “Sometimes.” He snickered. “You know full well women get wet if you read that kind of thing.” Busted. “I just wanted to hear you say it.” she admitted. “Naughty girl.” He teased. “So had you been reading one of those kinds of books when you had that dream?” “Maybe.” she mumbled. “What would you want to be doing with me if I was there right now?” “Kissing you.” she said and added in a softer voice. “Touching you.” “Touching me where?” “Your hair. Then your neck. Your shoulders, chest, stomach…” “Alright, I like where this is going.” He sounded pleased. “And what are you going to do when I get hard? I hope you don’t freak out everytime.” “I…” She didn’t know what she’d do. “What do you want me to do?” “I liked the part where you pulled my pants down.” He said. “I’ve been informed by the experts that putting a sock on it was not the correct course of action.” He laughed. “Can’t say I’ve been able to look at my socks the same way again.” Jennifer grinned. “What do you imagine?” “You look into my eyes as you slowly unzip my pants. You reach inside and poke around. You tell me how big it feels. You pull it out and slowly run your hand up and down, like I am now.” Jennifer crinkled her nose. “You’re touching it?” “Ever since you started talking about plucking nipple hair.” He joked. Jennifer couldn’t help but laugh. “Seriously?” “Since I started thinking about how wet you were.” Jennifer grimaced in embarrassment. “How wet I want to make you next time I see you.” There went her stomach again. “You still have that cream my daughter so kindly decorated your car with?” “I do. I’m glad she didn’t get hurt from it. I tried it once and it burned. Apparently you’re not supposed to put a whole glob on.” “Oh? You tried it? I thought you said you didn’t touch yourself?” He asked, amused. “I got curious to see if it would do anything.” “Did it?” “Carol came in right after I put it on. I tried to have a conversation with her, but then it started burning and I jumped off the bed in my underwear. She thought it was hilarious.” “You have the worst luck.” He said with a laugh. “How about you put a little bit on?” “Right now?” “Yeah right now.” She leered at her nightstand. She had thrown it in the drawer and forgotten about it, but being homeless had made her leery of tossing anything. She reached over and felt for it. Her fingers clasped around the now sticky bottle and she pulled it out. “I found it.” She stared at the bottle hesitantly. She clicked her tongue in thought. Eventually, she flipped the lid open with her thumb and placed a much smaller amount on her finger. She was just going to see what it felt like, it didn’t mean she was going to play with herself. She dipped her hand into her panties and cringed. She had left dry-ish territory behind. She was plunging into the unknown. “It’s on.” She breathed. “Where’s your dominant hand?” Still in her panties. “Beside me.” “Close your eyes.” “Alright.” “What do you feel?” “Kind of antsy.” Itchy? She jostled her thighs a bit. “Does it burn?” “No.” There was that at least. “Now think about the night you stayed over. Think about what we were doing. How you were feeling.” Her body pressed against his. His tongue intertwined with hers. The building pressure. Her fluttering stomach. His mouth inching down her belly. “Now when I say I’m doing something, I want you to do it and pretend it's me, okay?” “O-okay.” she said softly. If things got too weird she’d just stop. “The very tips of my fingers are sliding down your chest.” She followed along. Odd, but doable. Across her stomach. Down one leg and up the other. Around a breast, grazing a nipple. Why were they sticking out? It wasn’t cold. Goosebumps were rising on her arms. His voice was lulling her into a trance. And when he finally suggested she take her panties off she didn’t hesitate. “I’m scared.” She mumbled truthfully. “Do you want to stop?” “No.” “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” But there was. What if she was too messed up down there to feel anything? What if it made her feel gross? What if she had a flashback? So many what ifs. “We’re going to start slow, alright?” She followed his voice. Up, down, across, circling but not touching. An unknown feeling was coming over her. And when her fingers finally brushed the tip, she gasped. “Does it feel good?” She wasn’t sure if it was good, bad, or meh, but she felt something. Around and around her fingers went. His voice was fading. She could hear static coming through the phone, followed by faint music. “You're breaking up.” She said, although her fingers didn’t stop. She turned onto her side, knees up to her chest, phone held to her ear between her pillow and shoulder. The music was getting louder. An electric guitar was strumming. Her fingers matched the rhythm. “Are you playing the music?” “Music?” She heard through the static and drums. “I don’t hear any music.” No. No. No. But she didn’t want to stop. She couldn’t stop. She had crossed a line she couldn’t come back from. This feeling was so new. “I love myself I want you to love me When I feel down I want you above me I search myself” A female voice sang. No! No! Not here. Not now. “I want you to find me I forget myself I want you to remind me” Jennifer grimaced and writhed on the bed. It was happening. She let out moan. “Well, that’s hot.” She hid her face behind the crook of her arm as reality settled back down. She hung up the phone and groaned again, not in pleasure but embarrassment. She had just orgasmed while his dead wife listened in. Her radio chirped on. “I don't want anybody else When I think about you I touch myself.” And she was making fun of her.
  10. I have so many drafts and handwritten pages scattered everywhere over the years. I keep having to go back and read what I have posted here because it's had so many abandoned story points. That's part of the reason its so long 0.o
  11. Thank you, I always look forward to your reviews Hortensia has always believed her dad is a truck driver and travels all over for work and sends money home, when in reality, he (according to Eve) left the family when she was little without a word. Eve doesn't know where he is, although she has also heard rumors he was in prison, but it is a small town and rumors are easily spread. Carol, one of the more gossip prone characters, believed the rumors and jumped to conclusions that he was in prison when she heard Agatha's 911 call on the news and told Hortensia he was most likely in prison. No one yet knows his true whereabouts or why Agatha accused him and Eve of blackmail.
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