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Little Lamb

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  1. The premise of this one is very thoughtful, cute and heartfelt even. But the lack of revision shows very hard... Im not against AI assisted works, the tool sure has problems, too many for a forum post... But its uses can be very interesting, even change how we think some aspects of art production. That said, the text is so inconsistent with itself, with blatant contradictions every other chapter, sudden changes in voice that just distract and confuse for no clear reason, and so many weird wording choices throughout it all that it really hampered my apreciation of the story... Not to say that it's a bad story, the plot, premise, and ramifications from these few scenes are fascinating. The characterization of the couple was well made, and really thought out, even though their dialogues lack in it a lot, their actions through the Plot are superb. The way they are amateurs at kink is very well played, his insecurities, even after all the reassurances that things are okay, were so believable and grounded, and the conflict within the girfriend is an exploration Id love to see more often and look foward for further developments into it. The story really has lots of potential. I just cant shake off the feeling the text should've been through a few more re-reads and revisions
  2. Cute chapter all around, kinda bummed the exposition of Emma's Backstory was sidelined. But her insecurities and vulnerability were a very nice touch. Although I cant help but feel she's hiding some details... We'll see
  3. Oookaaay... Im starting to get some complicated vibes from Emma, maybe that's the point, maybe not, we'll see. I'll point again that some things in the text rubs me off the wrong way, specially some dialogues. But as English isn't my first language and there are so many cultural barriers in place, I cant say if the characters sometimes really are talking very weird, or if Im the one out of the loop cus I live in another continent. (They talking weird isnt an actual criticism, like, Dune, LotR, GoT, anything Shakespeare is all weird talking... just a sensibility that felt just pointing out.) Anyway, nice chapter all around. Some of the exposition bugs me , some weirdness there too, but this I know is cus Im a degenerate who already considers these details as given... (a decade or two of internet does that to a brain) Also also... The contract was a nice, but creepy, very meta touch. The symbolism is great, and the execution very well done. I don't know yet if thats foreshadowing even more of my suspicions or not... Eager for more, thanks for the updates and regular posting schedule
  4. Glad I got to read this last chapter just as it came out. ^^ I'll surelly be keeping up with the story. Although some details don't add up for me on the long run. Cultural bias maybe? I must say the narrative really hooked me, it's earnest, optimist, cute, and really fun. Also, the way you handle voice in the text is awesome. It's really obvious who's PoV we're reading without being tedious or too overt.
  5. Heyo, just read this one in the last... 30h or so... (I may have a binging problem...) But hey, not my fault you write so damn well. Loved most of the story, really really heartfelt and so much fun. The lovey dovey and smutty bits were top notch, your craft really shines on the fun delightful moments in this one. Made me all warm and Fuzzy and yearning for someone of my own. (Lucy feelings...) The back and Forth of the PoV was really nice too. As a switch, that made the story touch many of my kinky itches all around. Really really really liked this aspect. That said, some of my less kind criticism below: Lucifer felt a little like a devil ex machina at the epilogue, I was already expecting her, but the lack of more setup before the payoff felt a little underwhelming. Same for most impactful scenes when Vic or Nia are badasses. I felt like their reactions came a little out of nowhere. I was also expecting something more badass/impositive from Beatrice, given her character in Parum Mortis, she came out a little toothless in this one. But I think thats more of a me thing plus the whole prequel/sequel problem from a readers perspective. (And I may or may not have a crush on the superduper awesome badass witch nanny maid redhead dommy lady...) The excess of Nia's chapters at the hellish sequence felt a little off too, maybe cus I was expecting the back and forth structure, maybe cus I really loved Vic's inner monologue compared to Nia's. Dunno, the feeling of unrest and complete discomfort and dread I assumed you were aiming at for this sequence also added much to my, 'something's wrong' feeling. I didnt like it at all... which makes it so great, felt like hell, do not recomend. 10/10. Overall I've had much fun and was so invested in the characters and plot I didn't even feel time passing by. Many many thanks for the awesome story.
  6. Loved the story as a whole. So many Feelings... Now I'll have to binge more of your works, just so I can get the Campos, of course...
  7. Made me want so much more... I'll miss these characters till the next Story. And am already planning on binging your other works. Much thanks for such a great Story. It really is touching and moving and fun. Made me feel all the feelings and stuff.
  8. Yeah, it wasn't anywhere. But all that was said is that THE DEVIL made it work and skadadled after. I dunno if it ever actually worked, as there were some time shenanigans also going on. Maybe death also have friends? Or Luci was playing a prank? It surely was sudden... but it promises some great resolutions, I think.
  9. I knew it!!! I Fracking knew it!!! Damn!!! These mind games were good. Made me consider for a blip that you were pulling the 'it was all a dream' plot. But still, death is wanker...
  10. Nice to meet ya, fellow nerd. Have I already said you write very very well and I'm loving your stories?! I'm really curious to see if this misterious atacker is what I'm thinking they are, given the clues so far. Or if it's gonna be another Cameo/reference to works I'm already looking foward to binging... They are all offshoots from the same system/world and some of my favorite TTRPGS to GM and play. Although I wouldn't recommend them for anyone new to the hobby, their metaplot seems pretty much into your interest alley.
  11. They are the TTRPGs that were inspired by and influenced most of the urban fantasy media in the 90s and early 2000's. Vampire the Masquerade, Mage the Ascension and the likes. Very fun to play, and very much the kind of story you've been telling us. I may be a bit of a WoD dork, but I wont sequester the thread for my most special interest. Although if anyone wanna talk about it, my DMs are aliás open. (Wink, wink...) [is this how you do it? Forum Newbie here...] Also, YAY!!! New chapter!!!!!!!!1!!!! I'll read it as ASAP.
  12. Heyo, Just caught up with the whole story this night (yup, read it all in like... too few hours) and it's much much fun and so so polished. I'm eager to see what comes next, your characters and world are built in a very purposeful and very believable way. Makes me wonder how much of the behind the curtains work we're not seeing at the text. Also, I'm fracking enamored with all the characters, they're just the right amount of likeable and relatable and believable. I really dunno if I can choose a favorite... Also I must ask... do any of you play or GM World of Darkness or Chronicles of Darkness games? The world built around this story, and other ones apparently, is so very much like those games' worlds. Maybe it's just a genre thing, but still... Thanks for the awesome wonderful story. Hoping I get to see death put in their place by our zombie princess!
  13. Many thanks for the constructive criticism, I agree that the way the text is pasted here the change in POV became very much confusing. I tried to edit in a way that the structure of the text made it explicit without having to make a huge kerfuffle over it. But as I was pasting it, with the whole deadline for the contest I ended up rushing the post and most of my editing was lost in it. Many many thanks again. After the contest is over I'll try to learn how to edit a post and redo the text in here as it is in my files.
  14. Dunno if I'm too late, but just got this posted for the contest. It's the first in a few stories I'm working on, if I'm late I'm late. But hope it get's to be read. Had some problem with formatting the post, but it shouldn't make it unreadable, I think.
  15. The Mourning Even in the snowy, muddy, rainy autumn we had here they made a way to lower her coffin 6 feet under. Impressive, hasty. I mean, the simple fact Mom wasn’t even alive anymore was impressive in itself. I always thought the damn viper would outlive even our nieces. But alas, Momma’s underground. I should feel something, I think… It was weird. Laura and Oliver were crying all over for the last week or so, Dad was drinking his ass off, something or other about drinking his bitch to heaven was the excuse this time. I just…. didn’t. Didn’t feel. Didn’t think. Maybe relief was the right response. Or sorrow. I mean, even if I was at least a little mad or angry, or just catatonic even… But my head only wandered back to bills. If this last week of leave would be paid or not. How much of my savings I’d have to use for rent. The many many essays and papers I still had to grade. All already late even before Arianna sent me home with a mourning notice, saying that as they were already covering for ANA’s, a measly week of lit classes would be a breeze. I thought about ANA, if she was okay, if me leaving for this stupid funeral wasn’t too much on the dept. after the 3 weeks we’ve been already covering for them. I missed lunch with them… The stupid amount of info and worry and knowledge we spout over less than an hour. “Hey… Shorty! Uhhh… Evan… You okay?” It was even like I could hear her right now… “It’s impolite to ignore a friend to their faces, Ev…” Wait… I turned around. They, and miss Lilla, were just behind me. I must’ve lost myself in thought for a few… hours? The gray clouds were already dark. I was already by myself. Most funeral attendees already by the gate. “OH!!! Sorry! Sorry, Sorry! I just…” “We know, shorty, we know. Now come here.” They didn’t even wait for any acknowledgement. Just got me into her stupidly large and comfy hug. It was a nice one. I spent a few good moments there. Taking in the space within those arms. The muscly and scared way the skin from the shoulders to the fists felt weirdly jagged and soft at the same time. How the long black dress hid well the bulge I felt as my tummy touched their belly. The complete lack of perfume to mask the talcum smell. Their utter lack of their shiny black heels… “Weren’t you supposed to…” “I gave them a special pass, for today only.” Lilla answered. How in all of Dante she always knew what I would say? I motioned out of my boss’s hug. ANA’s face a little snotty, probs from holding tears. Before I could even say anything, Miss Lilla already interrupted me. “That offer will always be open for you. Here, if you need anything.” She gave over a small business card. Only a number on the back. The front full of weird patterns I imagine had some kind of geometrical significance or whatever. After that I hugged the both of them one more time and went looking for my ride home. I’d kill Oliver if he even had the slight thought of leaving me at the other side of town in a hecking blizzard. “Finally!” Was all he said when I got back. His weird Mongolian throat singing tape already on full volume in my beetle’s old radio player. At least I didn’t have to drive for the last few days. “So, what’s the plan for now?” “Huh?” He exclaimed, then kept singing those hellish weird and hard tunes till we were home. I looked for Laura’s SUV. Maybe she went for takeout or something. Inside our not so modest house I made my beeline for the basement. If dad’s home, he was already passing out by the balcony. Oliver kept ignoring me like the ghost of sister’s past. I checked my phone as I got it to charge. Hey, sis. had to go back home for my little rascals. Gotta make sure Dean didn’t get anyone killed and such. Bye, Lau. With a sigh I threw myself on my stupidly huge mattress. Guess not having dinner just this once wouldn’t be so bad… I thought of starting to grade the pile of homework left haunting my desk. But no coffee in the world could make me even so much as consider thinking about the damn hundred or so bland and dry Taming of the Shrew reviews from the sophomores. At least for the next hour or so I just laid there. Facing the pale cracked ceiling. My head storming through everywhere and everywhen except this last week. I knew I wanted an out. But those words from Gram kept spinning along the dozen or so weird memories, from my co-workers, from my boss, from their wife… The brightest gems are not born from hardship only. But of the care the jeweler put into making them truly shine their brightest. Kinderganden Teachers.docx The morning I awoke, if you could even say I slept, shivering my soul out through my hips… I felt the warm wet familiar red despair from the moon between my legs. It wasn’t supposed to happen anymore… Why? Why now? I cried quietly for what could’ve been a few moments, or a few hours. Slowly recomposing myself enough to get up, try to clean the whole bloody mess from my sheets and all. I didn’t fail, miserably at least. But I wouldn’t call another blood red stain on my leased mattress a success also. At least dad doesn’t check these things often. If at all, lately. After the longest five minute shower ever, I dressed myself plainly and went upstairs for a cup of coffee. Those essays wouldn’t grade themselves… Oliver was passed out on the couch, the TV running one of his weird reruns of some trashy Japanese power rangers from the 70s. I turned the TV off. Only so I could afford some of the bills. And went to the kitchen. Dad was there already. Or still. What I could only assume was an Irish steaming in his cup while he perused the paper. “They got your name wrong…” “Huh?” I reacted while checking for the components of my mocha boiler. He showed me the obituary. It read something, something, burial today of Abigail Adams. So yesterday’s… “I’m not her, dad!” Still looking for my coffee, where did I put that Chilean powder I saved for… “You’re not going to talk back to me this way, bitch!” Why did he have to drink so early? “Yeah Yeah, whatever you drunkard, did you see my coffee?” Usually his fits only lasted a minute or two, but when I’m angry he gets afraid of my low voice. “What coffee?” If only he didn’t reek of whisky… “You know, the special coffee powder I bought last month… the one with mountains and trees on the pack?” He made that drunk realization face of a fuckup, then retorted angrily. “I threw that crap away!!! It tasted awful and the smell was shit!!!” One breath, two, three. I stormed down back to my basement. I tried not to cry again, I tried not to curl up on my dirty mattress when the hiccups came. I was able to not scream my lungs out this time. But the stream of warm salty tears kept running down my cheeks, into my measly teenage beard. The piles and piles of papers and essays on my desk faced me back, judgemental through the whole ordeal. I tried to get to my work. I sat by the desk. Faced the options of what to grade first. What would be less taxing, fun, or at least not a bore. After a few minutes still facing the little monster of work in front of me, my phone buzzed. The card Lilla gave me slipped to the floor while I checked the screen, only to see the charges from the funeral in my bank app. Of course they put it on me! I grabbed the card back, facing the number and choice in my hands… After a quick dial I didn’t even have to say anything. “Where do you want us to pick you up, baby boy?” Miss Lilla asked, already knowing somehow it was me, and what I’d say… Two months ago… The bar was empty, and I don’t mean it in that, it’s a tuesday eve and it just opened empty. I mean, it’s a Friday holiday morning, it should’ve been closed more than a few hours ago, but Benny, if that’s really his name, was a dear and reopened just after closing for me and Lilla. Speaking of Lilla, I’ve never seen her so… fragile, vulnerable, cracked even. It was like she had just lost some part of her in the school parking lot. Like she was missing a vital organ. Granted we’ve never talked much, she’s not like my friend or anything. She’s an acquaintance, my boss’ wife. But after yesterday, and the little bunch of boasting amelia gave over her amazing partner. I had a feel of how she was. And it was nothing like the sobbing mess in front of me. “So… You wanna talk about… whatever is happening?” Benny got us our drinks, very colorful, much gay, not a drop of alcohol… I tried to find a way to shoo him away, but he’s literally here just for us… Luckily both the boys were too smitten with each other to notice my shock at the lack of booze. Luckily still the barman read the room very well and scurried away to the bar. pretending to not eavesdrop us. I tried and failed to keep my cool, sipping my sirupy juice. “It’s… complicated.” How much did he already know? I can’t just spill everything. I mean, I can, I just left them in the middle of THE CRISIS… But it wouldn’t be fair with ANA… They’re his direct superior… still… “Yeah… but I’m more inclined to believe whatever you tell me to the alternative.” We kept drinking, from straws even… They’d have a blast with this, I should make a note… “Alternative?” Is he going to call the board? Expose us? I mean, my arrangement with Bia is highly irregular, but still… “You know, the rumors that you’re all part of a weird alien psychic cult of immortals that’s gonna take over Phen. High any day now…” I gasped, actually spilled a whole bunch of colorful sweet juice all over the table, did he just… “The What???” Short-circuit achieved! Now a little distraction before the real talk starts. “You know, “some people” say everyone else in the language dept is too weird and competent to even be human and stuff like that, the weirdos…” Her laugh was modest, sweet, embarrassed maybe? But swiftly she composed her answer. “I see you’ve talked with TInTin” Who now? Does she mean William? He already has some kind of reputation? Or are the rumors more spread than the one weirdo I work with? “TinTin?” “We call Will that, because of his tinfoil hats” Wait, does he actually have those? How much of this school is even close to something normal? Next she’s gonna say there’s a snake in the pipes that makes the kids sleep with its rattle… “Wait, he actually… told you all that stuff? About you five being a spacy sex cult trying to corrupt teenagers for their youth and shit?” “He didn’t go so far into the specifics. But his claim and report to the board had that same sentiment.” I don’t know what’s cuter, his utter lack of awareness of our situation, or his complete surprise and shock at my dry statement. I tried to hide my interest in his reactions while the barman came to help clean the mess I spilled over the table. “He actually claimed that to the school board???” The cutest was definitely the both of them trying not to stare too obviously at each other. C’mon, kiss already you fags! I’ll enjoy the show from here!!! “Well, not exactly that, he claimed a very much embellished version of the facts, with moral panic and all that stuff. When I demanded proof of such inadequate behavior he stalled until the process expired.” Benny’s eyes were always this shiny? I mean… Did she really say what I heard? It can’t… “He didn’t…” Still, something was weird in all this, most made sense, but… “Wait! You’re a member of the board?” If so, everything till now would make a modicum of sense… “Yep, Chief Medical Officer over the health of Youth… or whatever crap they call my office these days.” Did that mean what I think it… “Oh crap! you’re Delillah Geffen Monroe!!!” She’s like… my boss’ boss’ boss’ boss!!! Damn, I’m either very very lucky or not at all!!! “Delillah Geffen Bianchi now…”His shock was as amusing as his crush’s reaction. The barman boy skaddled as quickly as he could from our table. Evan’s Chin still on the floor. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize…” Of course you didn’t dear, I made sure not even one public soul knew of it. ANA’s life would be even more hellish if someone of the really high political weight class decided to pick on them. “No need for apologies, its a very private relationship, like most things in our lives.” And here we plant the seed, let’s see how much the boy spills… “Oh, I… I can imagine… There’s a lot I just don’t talk about openly…” I mean, I don’t talk about it at all. But the devil’s in the details, right? “Nothing that risks your career, I suppose.” What? No? I mean, maybe? Is she hinting at something or does she think I’m a… “Oh! No, no! nothing of the sort… Just that classic country family drama.” “Not much support from them, I imagine.” Kinda? I mean, mom’s… mom and… “Well, I still live in my dad’s basement and all, but I have to save all I can.” “Oh!” What the… My face must’ve showed it, cus she just kept explaining. “I’m so, so much sorry. It’s just, I thought someone already so masc would have already…” Yeah, not everyone has that kind of cash lady… “I graduated uni with so much debt that I’m still…” Gods, why I’m such a bitch all the time? Of course the country kid with complicated family wouldn’t have had the kind of money for Uni and all the surgeries of a regular FtM transition… ANA’s still paying her FFS for The Lady’s sake. “Sorry again… Sometimes I forget how the real world works and all… Even more right now…” Let’s make this again about these last 24 hours and how I screwed my whole family dream now… “Yeah, no, I get it… really this whole economic class reality confuses me sometimes too. Specially with the scholarship kids…” “ANA was one of those… not here though, back at the capital, when we met.” Please please bite, I really don’t wanna talk about the diapers in front of your future boyfriend… “Ana?” Was this another of those weird names they used with Amelia? “It’s Amy’s full name, too convoluted to explain at a bar. Still It’s what I call them… Mostly.” So she did use many names… what kind of disorder… Whatever, first things first! “So all those other names and weird behaviors… does she… shit! They. Do they actually have something or…?” Please don’t be too crazy, please don’t be too crazy, they are my first cool boss in a whole decade… “Depends on what you’d call something. They’re a Non-binary teacher and coordinator who deals with everything you can imagine your hometown throws at them. And then some more…” Yeah, I mean, if yesterday happened every year or so... “So… that meeting yesterday… and the whole…” And here, ladies and gentlemen, is the million dollar question, if only he had the pussy to say it outloud… Men, I’m Right? “Everything before, during, and after it, the weird mood swings, the lack of bodily control, the impressive role they played in it. All of it’s more or less a semestral occurrence” Understatements, the whole of it. With a reaping dose of circuitous talk. No need to expose my not-so-surely-wife-anymore in front of his “friend” that just got back from Narnia. “So all the stuff I’ve read, about the…” Ata boy. Was that a little blush at the end? “Yep, all of it, coping, and dealing, and having some fun, you know, everyone has their quirks” And let’s please leave it at that in a public space… I mean, I’m still technically a politician… “Oh… Oh! So that… and then… Oh!” That’s not a regular reaction to learning most of your colleagues and boss partake in our special flavor of degeneracy. Does he actually… “Something doesn’t add up…” I mean, most of it was already very very weird. The whole pissing themselves, and being spoon fed, and acting like… But I kinda got the appeal of that. Being worryless and carefree and having someone to tend to the WHOLE of my needs and problems… But still… “What’s in it for you?” Hiding my expression wasn’t really hard this time. Only tempting. “I could explain my whole side to you…” The poor poor boy, all disappointed for naught. “But I’d rather show you…” If you bite this one, maybe I could have some fun before dealing with my whole life crumbling. “You don’t mean…” Such a good boy, he has so much potential… If only. “Nothing of the sort your dirty little head’s concocting now.” A sigh, relief? maybe disappointment also. “We’ll play a little game, nothing fancy. If you win, you get to ask me anything. If I do, I'll give you a little dare.” Seemed kinda fair, I mean, I could ask literally anything… “Just to be sure… what game?” “A staring contest!” A little Ride I spent the whole of the ride reflecting on that Friday morning… those eyes, those deeply crystalline blue eyes… The way they played so deeply with my soul… How wrong was it that I have a crush on my boss’ wife? Who’s also their boss… “Almost there, dearie.” Miss Lilla declared, I looked around, wondering why we were at the school’s parking lot… “Why…” “Our nursery is here, just there in the back of the property.” She pointed to a small building, the size of a small house. I’ve never paid attention to it. Maybe someone told me it was some kind of storage or whatever ages ago… “Now, before we start with the fun part, we have to have the grown-up talk.” The what now? I looked at her confused, maybe even tilting my head. “Okay…?” “I know you’re eager for and have lots of expectations over this all, and that’s great, but we need to lay some ground rules before we start playing for real, ‘kay?” The look of earnest confusion in his eyes was so friggin cute… If I could only eat him up just a little now… “Uhum.” he nodded lightly for some emphasis. “When we go through that door, you won’t be Evan Adams, the lit. teacher anymore. Not while we stay in there, fair?” Another nod, a thoughtful one. “Do you have any preferred name and pronouns or gender for today?” He stared at me, the tilt in his head oh so slightly… “I… I actually didn’t…” The nervous shame making him tremble just a little. “It’s okay that you didn’t, darling. We’ll play along and you just tell me what you’re thinking about it, ‘kay?” I tried really hard to not look as nervous as I surely already was… I mean, she was going to… to do those things with me… well at least that’s what I imagined… I didn’t actually talked all of it through… I should have, shouldn’t I? But still, this was like that morning in the bar, right? “The last thing we have to talk over is very important, so pay attention.” Yep it was just like that day, with those eyes looking deep into me, those sky blue angel eyes… Those angel eyes He stared deeply at me, faking a confidence that was surely enough, very brave. Very naive too. I kept my lazy look at him, waiting till his eyes started to drift. Then I stared deeply at my mostly empty drink of sugar and color. “Hah! I win!!!” He declared, almost too loud. “So, what’s your question?” “Uuuhh…” I had to choose well… “Will talked about the whole dept. So it isn’t just the two of you. How are the rest of them involved?” At least I would know exactly some real stuff about this. “Everyone else, exactly. Jorge, Arianna and Rosallynna are family. They partake in most of our… activities” Just enough to make him chew a little, water his mouth enough to bite again… “Wanna another round?” His stare said it all, but alas a vigorous nod made it sure. And so we started again. Her stare was weird, placid, her eyes so so clean… Still by the third minute or so, I imagined, I was starting to waiver… And then she looked away again. Lucky me. “So, how long have you guys been doing… you know.” More details, more things I could cross-reference later… “Almost since the beginning, we started dating about sixteen, seventeen years ago. And our first, let’s call it playdate, we weren’t even officially a polycule yet…” The little info I dripped, the more I saw his eyes widening, trying not to stare too much, not to show his shock, his wonder… “One more?” Didn’t even have to wait for a nod this time. I already had his eyes all for me… Same minute or so of placid bore, same purposeful slip of my “resolve.” Let's see what he wants to know now. “You said polycule, so you guys are like…” “Polyamorous, yeah. The five of us are one big romantic, familial, supportive unity. We even had an astral ceremony a few years ago, vows and all that…” Wow, I mean, wow… I knew people like this existed. But I always thought they were more of one of those, one in a billion internet legends and stuff… “But… How does it even… you do like… orgies and stuff?” Very smart, such articulation… She’s gonna slap me still. “Wouldn’t you like to know… Another one?” I tried not to sound much embarrassed or overly eager in my affirmative, and so we went on… Same game, same plays, almost to the script. I felt really good, my fourth consecutive win. I’m really good at this, passed through my mind… “So???” “Yeah, we do, most of us, have our collective sex now and then, but it’s not about just that, never was, never will be” She sounded bitter by this one, maybe I overstepped. It was very much private after all. I mean, who even goes asking about the sexual habits of coworkers… “I’ll give one more question. Free of charge. And then we play one last time, deal?” She was giving me two whole questions? And one right now? Jackpot! “Why are you so sad and down today? It’s something to do with all this, right?” I ignored the fact those were two different questions, his compassion and worry really touched me. Even if just a little. “I’ll spare you the details, but we’ve been trying to get ANA to work less, take more care of themselves and us. Stop bleeding for the damn school and kids…” The pause was more for me to take the reality in than anything… “During a very hard fight I… I ran away. I’ve been screwing up a lot with them…” “I don’t even know what to say. I mean, they’re the real Phenomenon of Phen High.” I paused to breathe, sigh actually. Just what she did yesterday, I mean… “This last board meeting showed me and all the board how Miss Amelia... Ana, sorry…” “Don't sweat it. Its confusing even for them” Oh, okay... that was a little... sad? “I mean, they are the most incredible teacher in the whole district. The whole state even! I’m still puzzled why they aren’t at some ivy league professorate or…” His earnestness is cute. But oh so naive... I almost didnt believe hes AFAB… “There's infinite and one reasons for all that. Most of all the transphobia. But their dream never was Academia. And the life of a top scientist or researcher is kinda cushy, but very ruthless too. After our PHD's we vowed to not partake in that show of horrors.” “Wow... still why not get a paid leave? Or even just get less classes. Less admin work.” Ataboy... at this rhythm you'll ask all the questions before we play again… “You try convincing my workaholic of a wife that working less is actually better and you'll see why. Now, lets go for that last round.” C’mon kiddo. I wanna make you blush for real this time. “Okay, just dont be pissy when I wipe the floor with my last question.” I didnt wanna press that on her. She was really going through a lot and all. But still I had a little bit o pride still. “We'll see kiddo. We'll see…” Her atmosphere was a little different somehow. She had more energy somehow... maybe venting out really helped. I stretched a little, just for dramatic purposes. Paused my hands together, just over the table. My elbows just over the edge. Straightened my back. Cracked the neck and gave him THE LOOK. The one I give my naughty little girls when they stepped out of line. The one that froze my babies on the spot. Looking not straight at him, nor in his eyes. But through him. Trying to pierce his very soul with only my expression... I... I didn't... didn't even know... what... How... I just. Stood there, facing those eyes... those impossibly clear and bright eyes. Hypnotic even. She looked at me and I thought of... of how she'd... how easilly she could... how I'd let her... Oh my god! I think I have mommy issues... “And that, kiddo, is why I'm into it!” His blush was intense, colorful, shameful... he blushed with such passion and vigor it was hard not to think maybe it was voluntary. He faced his lap with such interest I almost inquired about the state of his breaches. “Now for your dare, come here, let miss lilla tell you what you'll do for her.” She motioned for me to sit by her side. God I was played... danced her tune like she was my ballett teacher from... well from long long ago. I tried not to shiver at her serious devouring looks, nor look to Benny as I sat obediently at the chair by her as she pat it. I could hold my embarassement much less, not at al actually, when she whispered that dare in my ear, how her words made me forget how to breathe, just for a second. He Got up much more like a robot. Sudden linear blocky steps. His arms frozen by his sides. He walked an almost straight line to the bar, stopping so suddenly I thought for a moment he bumped his boy parts on a stool... “Uhhm... I... Um... Mr... Mr. Benny would... would you go out on a date with me?!” The Boy's laugh was sweet. You could feel how his smile anihilated the tension around my new toy. He wasn't mocking Evan, or me, or shocked. It was genuine relief. “Of course I will, cutie. Here, let me just get your number.” He reached for his phone then faced me dead serious. “It's Evan, right? Here, just tap yours and I'll text you first thing after my nap. Oh, and let me know if you'd like any specific pronouns or names and stuff... this whole gender thing is a little new to me.” I tapped my number and gave it back. Readying myself to pay for our drinks and surelly a large service extra. When he stoped my hands from even opening my wallet. “It's on the house. Just make sure to thank your aunt or whatever for tonight and our date.” His thumb brushed my cheek oh so slightly and he went back to closing up shop. Miss lillah was already Waiting by the door. I couldn't get myself to face her eyes again. But she was smiling. “Do you get it now?” I mean, maybe? I was a whole pile of nerves and embarrassment and red. Heaps and heaps of Red. But I couldn't think of a better bar night in... a while… “I think I do. Just a little, but yeah, I do.” I hugged him after that, finally cracking just enough for some tears to prop up again. “You know Miss Lillah, I'm not of much help in your whole ANA Problem…” So cute, him trying to be all grown up and all “You don't have to, dearie.” “Yeah, I know. But my Gram said something today that may help her…” The kindergarten “Do you understand?” I was lost in memory lane so long? What did she even say? I nodded vigorously. “Okay, so say to me… if you wanna things to stop you’ll say…” “uhhh… SOS?” She tried to hold a laugh, her bemusement was endearing? happy maybe? Dunno, made me wanna laugh a little too. If it wasn’t for the shame. “That won’t do, kiddo, it has to be something quick, that you don’t think much before saying.” “I don’t know how to choose, can you like… do it for me?” The baby’s always lazy in the beginning, always skittish. I could give a word to him, of course. But that wasn’t right. I can’t keep treating them like kids always… “I can help you with it, but you’ll have to play along a little, okay?” “Uuhh, okay?” Perfect. I grabbed him by the hand and stormed through our little temple. We had it just for the both of us till the eve, I’ll make most of it before he eventually chickens out. “Come with aunt Lillah!” We went through a kind of dining kitchen, but the wallpaper was odd… Then we got to a nursery, well… it looked like one, but the size, it was more than off… “Now look at you. All dressed up like a big boy, so so cute. But what’s this?” She started without even skipping a beat, her hands going already all over me and stopping at my ass, patting it slightly. “No no no, mister, you know you’re not big enough to big boy undies. Come…” She kept moving me, first taking me to what I figured was a changing table. Pulling me up in it with such ease… How even…? “Now let’s get rid of these ugly grownup clothes, won’t we?” And without even a shadow of an answer, she started undressing me… No. No no no, please no, she can’t… she’ll see… His panic was more than apparent. It was obvious even. But I had my fair share of shy babies. I startled him with the snap of my fingers “Little Ev. Look at aunty! Look into my eyes.” Getting his attention was the hard part, some more snaps and calls for it to work, of course. After that came the fun one. “It’s okay baby boy! Aunt Lillah loves you. She’ll never think you’re nothing more than her baby boy. It’s gonna be okay. I promise!” Her hands already out of my vision, but she smiled so much, still, if she saw… that… “But… But I… down there… I…” Why was it so hard to say? I have a damn pussy for fuck’s sake. C’mon, you already know it!!! “It’s A-Okay that your little boy parts are different. Aunt Lillah won’t think anything bad of you.” Did she… wait, little boy? But she said nothing bad, I could trust her, right? “...Promise?” “Pinky promise!” And that’s where we begin to really care for him, for real this time. “Now let me get you out of this yucky clothes. I need to change you into something more… age appropriate” Complicated words would still be commonplace for a while. But worked wonders when they’re already eager to collaborate. Undressing him was no real fuss after that, although he hid his face till I had his tush all powdered and diapered. Those little eyes looking everywhere, all curious. The… thing around my hips was… fluffy? Comfortable? Maybe even cute… It erased all my weird senses down there. It was only fluff and clouds and nice smells now. “Lillah, I… Uh… Could I…” “What’s that? Who you talkin’ to?” Gosh, was she really making me say… I pointed at her as I tried to sit up. “Oh! You talkin’ to me? I’m your aunt Lillah, remember? Little Ev. can call me aunty, or aunt Li, or miss Lillah if he’s tryin to be a really big boy.” She fucking damn was. God… the words just went away. I didn’t know where to put my face. “Now arms up, little boy.” I obeyed without even giving it thought. She slipped some kind of T-shirt over me. completing what I’ve imagined to be the most ridiculous and babyish I could ever be. “Now, Little Ev. what would you say if I took a picture of you with my phone here and sent it to that very nice barman we met the other day?” This would certainly short circuit that baby brain of his enough. Maybe too much. But I was ready for any kind of meltdown. Wait, did she… she doesn’t mean… If Benny see me like this… NO!!! we haven’t even kissed yet! She couldn’t…WAIT! she said to say something… A word, we had to… “Firefly! Firefly! Firefly!” “Ataboy! Now let’s see how you look in your new clothes, ‘kay?” She took me by the hand, to the room corner, where stood a full length mirror. And it was looking at it that it downed on me… The person in the mirror… It was… Me! Like, a baby me, a huge boy with the stupid mama’s boy block lettering shirt barely covering his hips, over which stood a huge white and blue diaper with also blocks design over. letters and numbers and all. But still, undeniably me. In my stupid shirt. wearing my huge diaper. And undeniably a boy! I wasn’t her, I never was! Never would be! The tears streaming down his face and the hiccups worried me a little. But the smile planted all over his face, how he tried to touch the mirror him… It was so much like them… So bright, so happy, so genuine. So I stood there, letting he take in his newfound babyhood. His new way to be himself. Till he turned to me “That’s… That’s me!” “Yep, and you’re a cutie pie of a little boy!”
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