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Bettypooh

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Everything posted by Bettypooh

  1. ALL people who do not fit into society's norms should at least understand what that is like and extend whatever courtesies they think appropriate for them and their kind to the other different ones who are not in the social norms either. To do any less is to be a hypocrite which is universally held to be a bad thing It's equally hypocritical to act as if you're accepting or supporting someone just for appearances sake, only to abandon them when you feel that profits you better Nobody should get what they themselves aren't willing to freely give to others. As to Pride events, their original concept has become blurred and in many places commercialized too Part of the problem is that there was never a set of rules or limits defined on how they should be done- only suggestions given allowing local organizers who may have other agendas to do what they please under the "Pride" banner. I have seen the results of that first-hand and from long ago where one event I helped organize had commercial booths allotted based on certain people's personal connection to them even when other similar companies were even more LGBTQ friendly. In other words politics. I stood against that but I was essentially out-voted. After some years of seeing how all that was going and getting more common I stopped volunteering and assisting with that event I've learned long ago that without enforced rules or limitations the end result is always chaos and with that, failure. Conversely I've also been part of a organizations start-up where our means of funding was ourselves, and that wasn't enough to do the job, so we had to accept the support and funding of others just to keep the dream alive even when that meant we were collaborating with "bandwagon" people whose motivations were only for themselves and not really for us Thankfully we passed that point and I can still remember when we first declined acceptance of one of those kinds. When that vote went around we were all smiles because we knew that not only had we done the right thing, that also meant that we'd crossed the threshold of success and our little organization would now survive and prosper as it should Beggars can't be choosers and you have to get past begging to truly succeed. There's really no connection between LGBTQ and ABDL save that both groups are not well accepted in society and that some of us fit both groups. In that much at we should at least tolerate each other since that's what we want for our own selves. Bettypooh
  2. I can do anything anyone else can do except swim or wade deeply wearing my diapers, so I can't see how it's disabling. Incontinence could best be described as a medical condition which requires treatment I think. That would still leave diapers covered by insurers but free us from any social stigma or questions regards our ability or lack thereof. My ever-weakening back, carpal tunnel syndrome, and breathing issues are more disabling to me than my lack of bladder control. Bettypooh
  3. @DAQ Humans are odd creatures- we see things which we think we want and try them, sometimes discovering there were other things attached which we hadn't noticed (or didn't give enough weight to) which changes our minds. And sometimes things which were once happy and/or exciting become dreary and boring. But we must try, because we're human. I experienced the downsides of wearing as we all do when we go 24/7, and there was a point where I had to stop and consider whether it was the right course for me. I did need some protection but not to the level of wearing premium diapers which is what I wanted- pull-ups would do to handle the needs. What decided it for me was knowing that my appearance changed enough for it to be noticed when wearing a thicker diaper or not, and I didn't want to be exacerbating that personal issue by switching back and forth. Rather than risk unwanted discovery through variance I settled on a single appearance- diapered- and accepted whatever else came with it. For me it was the right decision; YMMV. After that I went through a period of great happiness knowing that I was finally going where I really wanted to, but in time that happiness changed to simply being satisfied with myself in having done the right thing. There's still a small joy in me when I think about my diapers, but I rarely think about them anymore. I know for certain that it's what I want to do on a continuous basis. Not everyone will be that way. Since you can manage with or without diapers you get a choice, so choose as you will knowing that whatever you may decide it's you who will have to deal with the consequences of your decisions whatever they may be. And that if you want to start back with wearing you already know well what some of those consequences will be which will make dealing with the change easier. It's up to you to make yourself happy, so do what that takes. Bettypooh
  4. This is a good question! I worked with a one-armed house painter who could do about anything I could do, just that some things he did in a different way. He didn't consider himself disabled at all even if some people would. And semantics does enter this discussion too. As a whole society we determine what words and things actually mean, yet one's own personal perceptions always remain valid for oneself. You don;'t have to define yourself or accept someone else's definition of you, but you should understand that if their perception and yours differ substantially. Like so many other things in life there is often no clear-cut answer, nothing which can be divided into black or white because it's neither. Society does set a minimum level of what it considers handicapped or disabled, and we have to deal with that when we're dealing society. That doesn't make it right or wrong necessarily, it just makes it how it is. We are free to disagree with society and to try to change things, but in the end it is society which is going to make many decisions for us if we want to be an integral part of it. Which we don't have to do. Diapers and incontinence do not limit me much (almost none actually) and the few ways that they do constrain me are of very little consequence to me. I simply refuse to accept society's standards here on a personal level, but I do make concessions to society in how I deal with this when I'm out in the world. It works, I'm happy with it, and so is society. Bettypooh
  5. When a "mental condition" reaches the point where it's a true illness or disorder, insurance should cover it. But it often doesn't, even when it progresses much farther than that. Insurance is a scam where you are often left having to choose between one evil or another as both aren't covered. And there are many like me who can't afford insurance but make too much to be eligible for assistance; that is the biggest reason I'm for socialized healthcare which covers everything- nobody and nothing goes uncovered for anyone who needs it. I'm happy to buy my own diapers but having some financial help with it would be nice, which is how i think things should be done so that the wearer can decide which product works best for them. Those with no financial ability would be able to acquire something adequate even if not the best. tldr: If a person has a real and true need for something to remain healthy and active in society, then they should have that. It should be seen as a human right. Bettypooh
  6. I've recounted my own story many times but to recap, I tried my best to gain bladder control as a child but couldn't, and nobody believed me when I said I was trying. My early daydreams of being diapered were pleasant and felt proper for me. Perhaps that was a sign of the future... Some of us simply have to be incontinent to gain the full inner peace everyone should have. If you're one of us, you'll soon know it if you begin down the path of desired incontinence, and everything about it will become your own 'normal' being at least accepted if not pleasant, and with much being pleasant about it. It changes your perspective of yourself and you begin to understand that your own happiness isn't tied to other people's perceptions about continence. Rather than having "OMG!" moments you have "Oh well- time to change again" reactions instead when you leak. You will have the deep inner satisfaction of knowing that you've achieved a goal which you know is right for you, and you'll feel happiness every time you think about that. And you'll learn to truly like certain aspects of it if you don't like them already. I'm currently forced into a 'limbo' of minimal diapering, but I can't wait till my situation changes and I can get back to wearing and wetting as I need to do, which hopefully will be soon. Losing my inner peace and self-satisfaction regards my diapering has left me with constant low-level depression but I know it's not going to be forever so I'm managing. Nothing else in this world like a dream fulfilled constantly! Bettypooh
  7. My urine production is totally unpredictable and erratic. I can't find any patterns to it nor any connection to food or liquid intake or activity or weather. It's been like this my whole life. I have no discomfort or irritation passing urine- the discomfort comes from trying to hold it in when my bladder spasms. There are two times I can count on having to pee: on waking up in the morning and after a cup or two of coffee. Otherwise I might pee gallons a day or nearly nothing at all, and I can't tell which it will be until it begins to happen, and that can change as the day goes by. Bettypooh
  8. As I've mentioned elsewhere circumstances beyond my control swept me back to needing bladder control again and I'm there now- as much as my slight physical leakage will allow me to be that is. I'm not happy about that but I've got to survive and it's the only way. What makes it tolerable is that it's not permanent. Like Mark I was well along the way and didn't think it was possible to go back since I was usually not conscious of urine being released. I think the difference with me compared to most is that I didn't follow any plan (like the 12 month one) but simply began removing my conscious attention from anything related to peeing, so that when it became necessary I was able to go back- not that I wanted to. I'm now much like I was when I began needing something more than pads to be safe from wet clothes but only due to uncontrollable leakage due to my weak external sphincter. I can feel when my bladder is getting full again though I can't tell when it's become too full to stop, and I'm using the toilet as I feel that way. Being that all I have is cheap store-brand pull-ups to wear I don't have room for error. Since my bladder muscles hadn't atrophied but only weakened in about two weeks I regained about 80% of my limited control and about two more weeks got back almost all of that. Those who use the 12 month program or any other method which weakens the pelvic floor muscles may not have a similar experience. The same for those who bedwet, as that part is beyond conscious control. Emotionally it's been very trying and keeps my depression at the door instead of in the distance. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing that eventually I'll once again have a place of my own where I can be free to wear without worry about any consequences of discovery having any effect beyond that directly.I've always believed that you can do what you have to do if you put enough effort into it (physical limitations notwithstanding) and I am nearly giddy when I think of how great the journey back into full-time wear and use is going to be. Throughout my journey there were many times where needing diapers was a PITA but I accepted that and found it could be dealt with as long as I could afford them. But I never lost my deep desire to be wearing them- not once, and I never will. I'm not happy right now but I'm still in diapers albeit crappy ones, so for now that will do because it must. Bettypooh
  9. Not wise to hold your urine for too long, as that can backflow into your kidneys and poison you. Which I presume isn't fun or enjoyable. And while this method may seem to have merit, it's going to take longer than you want to become effective, and may not become effective at all. My whole life I've had what they now call "Neurogenic bladder" which is where you have symptoms like OAB, SI, and UI happening. In my case what happened is that my detrussor muscle (the one which squeezes the bladder to empty it) would spasm without reason, rhyme, or warning. I spent most of my life either clenching down on my external sphincter to prevent leakage or being ready to do that at an instant. Using a muscle regularly strengthens it, not weakening it, but in time it can more or less damage that muscle rendering it weaker or more to the point limiting it's flexibility to extend and contract as much as it should. So after 40+ years of doing what you propose, I did start to lose bladder control beginning with drippage, going onto spurts, and finally with both reaching a level where pads would not handle it anymore and I had to begin wearing diapers. Which I was sort of OK with being I'm something of a DL, but it wasn't fun having it happen without me being able to do anything to stop it. I'd have to wear to work, to family events, and such whether I wanted to or not. It was nerve-wracking for a couple years till I became comfortable with my constant wearing and discovering that people wouldn't know I was wearing unless I did something to cause that to happen. So yeah, if you want 40 years of trying with no better chance of losing control than any other method then go ahead. Be ready for the consequenses which could even be fatal. It's not something I'd recommend anyone do, especially when the same thing can be accomplished safely in about a year or two for most folks who want that pesky bladder control to go away. Bettypooh
  10. What I've spoken of in my previous response is a legal right, as has been determined by the US Federal Government's Courts. It has nothing to do with "human rights" or any other self-interpreted meaning someone wishes to assign to the word "right". How things are elsewhere I do not know which is why I specified "USA". It is something I've researched well as it had importance to me back when I was actively and publicly advocating for the LGBTQ community to wit: There are still laws on the books in places here which make it illegal to wear clothing of another gender. Our legal system does not prevent them from being on the books or even from having such laws newly-legislated; it only prevents them from being enforced once they are found to be unconstitutional. The ruling which gives us this right was based on someone wearing a T-shirt which had what is generally deemed a curse-word printed on it, which they were prosecuted for. Their argument was that their prosecution violated their 1st Amendment right to free speech, which had already been ruled to extend to the written word. In the decision which cemented this right as ours, the Courts clearly expounded that the right extended to the wearing of any clothing by anyone, and that at a Federal level is was only directly applicable to groups who had been given specific legal protections against discrimination as that is all the US Constitution allowed directly, but indirectly the ruling was also applicable as a limitation on all States who are not as limited in scope of their legal powers. Since a diaper is clothing it is therefore legal and indeed your right to wear one anywhere in the US. Where the States and their subdivisions may enact laws is in regards to legal standards regarding what they deem to be offensive, but only as far as levels of lewd exposure of what they deem to be genitalia and underwear but not to extend any further than that. And moreso there has just been a Supreme Court ruling which says that the right of free speech extends to the use of profane words in public. You'll soon be seeing "Fuck" brand clothing on the racks in stores and in online shops, which further solidifies the prior ruling of clothing choice being a 1st Amendment protected right in the US as the brand name will be visible when worn by design. Personally I don't agree with all of the above but that matters not- this is the law of this land. My own beliefs are that we should be considerate of those we're living with and around, as well as being considerate of how our choices and actions could affect the ABDL community at large. I see no wrong in wearing diapers under clothing even if it is sometimes unintentionally exposed. I'm OK with in-sight wearing in places where such may be expected, such as PRIDE events and conventions related to the subject, and even in areas where the community would be tolerant of it at any time. What I am against personally is when someone wears openly with total disregard of others around them- especially children- or when they expose their diapers intentionally under clothing as a means of causing other people to react to it. TBH I would love to have a world where I myself could wear more openly, but I don't see that happening for me in my lifetime. This paragraph is just my opinion- not a legal allowance or restriction which is what this thread is about- and if you want to you can find all I've spoken about online. Google it as I neither have the direct references anymore nor the desire to spend my limited time digging them up- and I'm not going to argue those points further. I know the truth and you can too. Bettypooh
  11. I can gauge when my preferred diaper is nearing it's limits by how high I feel wetness in back. If you pay attention you'll find certain characteristics with any diaper to let you know something about it's remaining capacity. How far you push those limits is up to you. Bettypooh
  12. I do enjoy my flowers, but all of them are potted. Where I used to live I would occasionally give them their morning water drink pre-dawn wearing a diaper with or without anything else so long as the neighbor's lights weren't on. Can't do that here where I'm at now Everything "diapers" here is highly restricted due to circumstances but when I can get the F out of this place and into one of my own, that's going to change back to how I want it The move did make one flower issue happen. My Mom gave me a pink and white Camellia- beautiful and a rare coloration. It was getting root-bound in a huge pot and there was no way I could deal with it here so it went to my dearest friends house where she gave it a special place in her yard- we planted it together. It's doing very well, she loves it as much as I do, and now part of my Mom is safe and will live on forever where I can go and enjoy it any time I want to Bettypooh
  13. All I can speak of is the US, and while there has been no direct Court ruling I can find, the tone of the other clothing rulings is such that wearing diapers is in itself legal- there are several rulings to base that on where it was found that essentially you can wear whatever clothing you wish as long as it does not directly infringe on the rights of any named protected class of citizens or abrogate laws of common decency. The only questionable part would be whether a diaper is considered to be underwear and whether a communities standards on lewdness regarding underwear exposure would extend to diapers. There are various rulings allowing underwear exposure which in general allow it partially but not fully- those distinctions are made at State and local levels and so far the Federal government has only remanded cases back to States with only Constitutional points noted instead of the actual case question itself. So a diaper under clothing would almost certainly be legal, even if partially exposed, thus wearing it is a right up to that point. It is only the level of exposure, or perhaps whether it is defined as underwear, which might be questionable. It's not a subject and Court wants to deal with but if it were, I'm quite certain that it would be deemed as legal much as we handle it here on this website: No visible 'scat' by intent and nothing implying anything illegal or immoral regarding minors. More than a legal point, this is a point of mostly social acceptance, and in that how a place's laws might be allowed to follow the wishes of that society in general. Being that there are those who medically need diapers there could not ever be a total forbidding of them anywhere, but there could be some controls regarding their use, exposure, and disposal. Should I ever win the lottery I will personally force the question through the Courts to a high enough level that everyone would be allowed the reasonable open wearing of diapers should they wish to because I feel that it's time to get past this and every other form of discrimination based on assumption Bettypooh
  14. I can't speak of bowel incontinence, but life's circumstances have placed me to where I needed to regain all the bladder continence that I could and sadly I have done that. Being strongly willed I managed to achieve the reverse journey in 4-5 weeks. I'm back to the point where I only leak via my medical conditions- OAB, SI and UI- and otherwise I can hold it. The process was gradual and TBH will take a lot longer for most folks. My smallish bladder never much shrunk on my journey which definitely helped but even that can be handled via more frequent toilet use. I am much looking forward to changes in life letting me rejoin my journey. At most I think a couple months more is all I will need to get back to where I can have the peace of mind of wearing and using diapers again as I had been, and that chance at future bliss is one of the few things which has kept me going through this rough patch in life. Bettypooh
  15. Any process of telling others is as much or more self-reinforcement as it is making that discovery easier for them. In actuality there is never anything precluding a complete change in you. I almost fully transitioned to life as a woman, hiding nothing ever, for two full years. Then I ended it with no real consequences to anyone or anything but my feelings. So to consider the same situation for an unseen thing there's even less reason to go there. It's not really going to change things any more than waiting for discovery to tell- all the rest is inside of you already or not. If you're destined to wear 24/7 then you will regardless. If destiny does the opposite to you that can't be changed either. Bettypooh
  16. They might have meant this Mast Cell Activation Syndrome on Wikipedia Bettypooh
  17. Children's products are made to cope with the smaller amounts of urine their smaller bodies produce so they will not be the best choice for adult bodies. You can certainly use them if they work well enough for you, but do keep in mind that any undesired discovery of your wearing them can very easily alter someone's perception of you which can have undesired consequences. As long as you accept that risk do as you please. Bettypooh
  18. When I see threads like this I always immediately think of HeidiLynn who lived her AB life openly, and who probably went as far as is possible into this direction. Whether a dream or nightmare, or whether it was a total experience is something for each to decide for themselves. From the practicality point of view, living this way first requires a financial independence few will ever have. Second it requires the prerequisite parent- one person minimum- who will play the offsetting role equally. Third is that nothing is really permanent. Like most other things of a 'dreamlike nature', nobody or nearly nobody achieves them. Most of those with the desire will lose that desire once they 'live their dream' awhile due to it not being quite the way they imagined it would be. Much in life (all?) is beyond your control, and you certainly not control what others do unless they accede to your wishes which isn't how a parent-baby relationship works. It might turn into your worst nightmare to attempt it- there is very little chance of it being your 'nirvana'. But that fact will never stop the desire and dream. There is also the question of whether you have the right to encumber someone who loves you dearly with placing your wants entirely ahead of theirs, for that is what happens with real babies. The difference with real babies is that they eventually grow up so that encumbrance is temporary and known to be like that. To continue forever as a baby changes that point into something entirely different which is where the question arises. To continue as a baby forever removes from them the joys of seeing you grow up which is the main benefit of being a parent. As a 'permanent baby' that is gone, and it's absence is bound to affect the relationship. On a less pleasant level, what will happen if the 'parent' dies or otherwise is no longer going to be there in that role? What effect will it have on you and can you survive it? So I think it's great to dream, and itr's bliss when you've got someone who is along with you to help you achieve your dreams. But this is something which is best left in the realm of dreams, and experienced only to the point where it begins to harm you or someone else in some way. Other people have dreams too and unless theirs matches yours it's not really going to work out in reality. Take the wins you can get in life and be content with them- don't risk losing those wins by gambling for everything or nothing If you do you're always going to end up on the 'nothing' side Bettypooh
  19. Darn it- you moved before I had the chance to meet you. But if it's better for you then all is good At least you won't suffer the scorching summers there Bettypooh
  20. If you look closely at your definition, it's you being restrictive and not me. ABDL means there is an interest in diapers- the single commonality among us all- and possibly interests other things juvenile too. There can't be two definitions, just personal variations involved which may define oneself but do not define others. In everything there is a spread of personal positions, not just ABDL matters and it's rather shallow to argue that which is so apparent. The most important part of all this is that each of us find our own true self and become comfortable with that person because you're not ever going to escape them. Bettypooh
  21. Fresh pee is not harmful to the person it comes from, but when it gets older or comes from another person that can change. I'm not one who minds a bit of stale pee aroma, nor do I mind urine-wet bedding as long as it's not cold or otherwise uncomfortable to me but to go that far is like so many of the other "challenges" which are so popular now- just utter stupidity. I'm not going to risk my health or my relations to this world's reality by doing something unnecessary and potentially harmful when it can be avoided. Sure it get s a lot of 'hits' and popularity- a lot of that is coming from folks with only one hand available to type with So let's do another challenge even "smarter" than this one- why not challenge her to use the same diaper since it's not necessary to try to keep the bed dry anymore? And why not just keep wearing that same diaper when not in bed? I hate to say it but it sure seems this world has become rather stupid of late and Darwin isn't doing enough to fix it. Bettypooh
  22. Not at all. My interest here is limited to only diapers and directly associated things, and there's nothing else "on the list" which is what those coming from an AB aspect usually cannot understand. If you limit that description to only those with attractions to diapers you'll hit the target. That's really the one and only thing we all have in common here even though the majority here do seem to have some AB interests too. There's no need and no point in trying to justify one's position. You are what you are and I am what I am and neither is right or wrong. ABDL is simply an "umbrella term" we gather under or use to help find others with similar interests. If you need justification or explanation then you don't yet really understand what you're about, and lacking that means you can't be any more understanding of others either. This is where so many lose touch with reality which does not change with changes of perspective or opinion- in fact that's how one goes about finding it. Bettypooh
  23. Physiological or psychological the effects are the same, and there are physical changes that come with not wanting and not having control which help you move along that path. What you end up with is your body no longer storing urine, but releasing it as it gets produced or something very close to that. Most of continence is simply a learned habit of long-time practice. As such it can also be un-learned or otherwise altered. Incontinence is the more natural state; we all began that way and would have continued had that been possible or more practical. Unless trained to do otherwise the body will choose the most efficient process to maintain life, so once you un-learn continence your body will lose the no-longer-needed processes which allowed retention. No point in it wasting energy so it won't. All that the body really needs is for the kidneys to produce urine and to have it drain and not build up inside of them- the sphincters, detrussor, and even the bladder itself are unnecessary. The anus could simply be at the end of the intestines without a bowel and it's sphincter and there would be no loss to the body directly; in fact it would be more efficient that way as long as the processed body output didn't create another more adverse effect. All that would become like our tonsils and appendix- body parts which no longer perform a needed function but we've still got anyway. That's where the physiological and psychological meet for those who have desired incontinence: the no-longer-needed parts are still there but now do nothing. And the longer that they do nothing the more they try to maintain that more efficient state of being. Bladder elasticity and muscle tone fade away from disuse, possibly to the point of permanent atrophy where recovery to their former state becomes impossible. I've always had nerve-related bladder continence problems with my detrussor being spastic in nature and my internal sphincter unreliable for retention. The only path to dryness I had was to consciously and constantly hold my external sphincter closed whenever there might be leakage, and eventually it being continuously overworked wore it out to where it no longer holds for more than 15 seconds no matter how hard I try. My bladder still spasms sometimes but nothing like it used to; now it's a rarity versus being a normal state. I have to consciously will my detrussor into squeezing when I'm using the toilet to save on diapers. My internal sphincter is the same as always- no telling what it's going to do whether holding or releasing but it too seems more relaxed than ever. My bladder has shrunk or lost elasticity to the point that at best I can hold maybe 200mL and that takes much conscious effort on my part plus relies on my extrnal sphincter holding which it might not do. I usually get this in the mornings when I'm drinking coffee and sitting at the computer but it can be an all-day process sometimes; no rhyme or reason for it's erratic behavior that I can find. Maybe 3 or 4 times a year I'll have an unbelievably wet day where I pass at least 2 or 3 gallons of urine even if I've not drank much fluids beforehand. I also have days where I drink huge amounts of fluid but pass almost nothing. No side-effects from any of this; my body is doing what it needs to be doing I guess so I just let it. It knows what it needs to do and it does it without any interference on my part. I can choose to be conscious of the events or to ignore them. Sometimes I enjoy knowing I'm wetting but usually I just discover that I'm wetter than the last time I thought about it. I've consciously chosen to not bother with attempts at continence, my subconscious mind has eventually followed along, and my physical body has followed that with what are probably permanent changes aimed at best body efficiency. I'm happier not having to work at bladder control and I enjoy being wet and the freedom from worry which diapers give me. This is positively the best state of being for me but YMMV- to each theoir own! Bettypooh
  24. The urge to share openly is intense in me, but reality trumps it. If it weren't for the negative consequences I'd be seen in skirts, dresses, diapers with plastic panties, and disposable diapers at different times as I felt like doing which would fairly eliminate the need to tell anyone because they'd see it! But to do that would take lots of independent wealth which I neither have nor ever will have so I just take everything in stride, doing what's going to work best for me and not doing anything which may adversely affect me. I don't want to be broke, homeless, or targeted as someone to despise or attack for being too open with my deepest feelings and desires so those things are limited to only those who need to know and the things I cannot hide. It's not a happy compromise but it works; a win where a loss would likely happen doing life any other way. Bettypooh
  25. Thanks for the update! It's not one single "path" but bringing many 'paths' together then using them that gets you where you want to go You won't necessarily lose strength on HRT. As long as you continue doing what you do now in the same way, that will continue. What will happen is that if you stop using your muscles they will weaken and regaining that lost strength will be very tough to do. When you change from being 'testosterone-driven' to being 'estrogen-driven' you acquire the muscle traits which follow. Muscle mass will be extremely hard to build and will be limited. Along with that will come with easier tiring from muscle use, so to do the same as before you will have to put more effort into it and you will feel tired sooner. What I found is that I could continue with everything, but I needed more frequent 'rests' between exertions. The upside of it was that for me anyway, those shorter rests brought me back more quickly. It was the end of the workday which hurt the most- I'd be exhausted. Thirty minutes later I could do it again where that same level of exhaustion before HRT took hours to recover from. TBH I was happier this way since 'bad'' feelings were shorter in duration. It was tougher to keep up at work, but more emotionally rewarding when I did that. You will also experience the same problem with weight loss. Any excess food/calorie intake will turn into fat instead of muscle, and it will be significantly harder to burn that fat away. You will have to limit what goes in to being just enough to supply your immediate energy needs and no more. Get used to feeling hungry; see it as being a success on keeping your weight under control. You'll find 'binge' eating to be your worst enemy. Settle into a healthy diet with small portions and stay with it religiously;. Learn what puts the pounds on and avoid that whether you want to or not. This part of your life will be one of the biggest changes you'll need to make if you're like most folks. I suggest that you set and meet your body-weight goal before you begin HRT as it's much easier then. On cosmetics, if you've got skin issues you need to avoid the cheap stuff. Even the mainstream 'hypoallergenic' stuff isn't what it should be. Go to a better department store which sells "Mac" cosmetics and try out one item at a time to gauge any reaction. And remember that with make-up less is more; just a slight touch of the right products done the right way in the right places makes you look much better than you might realize. A professional consultant (like the Mac sales counter staff) gets you there better and faster than what you get from other sources. Especially when the others are sales-motivated like Mary Kay, Avon, Merle Norman etc can be. Once you learn the 'tricks' from the Mac counter you can try cheaper products in the same shades used similarly- big sticker shock with Mac cosmetics but they are among the best commonly found here. Another trick is to look at other women as they buy cosmetics- if they look great see what their product choices are. If they look trashy avoid what they buy. Don't stare, just be aware. Same for hair-care products; careful and keen observation will get you the answers. My electrolysis was one of the most costly things I've ever done but also the second most rewarding in my life; this even after stopping my transition and returning to a mostly 'male' life. Whichever method you chose do it as early into the game as you possible can so that any unintentional regrowth can be dealt with while your skin isn't as thin and sensitive as it will eventually become. Also consider other areas such as chest hair and genital hair if you're going to be getting inversion SRS. The latter isn't something you can go back to later for a re-touch! Don't rush the transition process, be sure you get each step tight and complete before taking the next one. You get one chance to do it right, so make it all count. Bettypooh
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