Simon

Hello. I used to post on here all the time but haven't for aboiut a year now due to lack of internet access. I'm not sure if anyone remembers me here or not. Anyway to refresh everyone's memory my name is Simon and I'm the guy who decided to start wearing diapers after I graduated from high school who was diagnosed with incontinence?? I was referring to it as self induced incontinence before since I never had any problems before I started wearing diapers all the time. Well its been over a year now since I've been going throughdaily kegel excercises therapy etc. to help get rid of the incontinence. I posted about my struggles on here several times and the fact that I was seeing little if any noticeable improvement at all. Its been over a year since I've been going through all of this treatment and since I've posted on here and well I still haven't really improved at all. I'm still going through about 5 adult diapers a day on average, leaking non stop and filling my pants as well. Well the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. They did multple tests tried every treatment/excercise there was but nothing. Well just this last week I finally decided to go somewhere else as the clinic I was at wasn't helping at all and many other patients were complaining about their practices so I just transferred to a new clinic and if you can believe it within a week the doctors there are already able to tell me what is wrong with me. They did a full several tests on me right away including a full MRI that revealed that my anal sphincters (the muscles around the anus) are in the nearly advanced stages of atrophy meaning that they have stopped functioning normally due to disuse and have become almost frozen as they begin to like almost stop functioning completely and die. They did a similiar test and sure enough the same thing showed up with my urinary sphincters. It turns out that this is not uncommon at all and my doctors at the new clinic were shocked that the other doctors were trying to cure me with kegel excercises and other such crap which according to them will do nothing for a person whose mucles have become frozen due to atrophy. They explained that our mucles in our body need to be excercised constantly otherwise they will become lazy and eventually die. For example if a person stays blindfolded all the time for a few years his or her ability to see will start to decrease and eventually this could lead to total blindness. The same goes for any muscle in the body you lose it or you lose it I guess. So wearing diapers all the time and not paying attention to when you need to go is like putting a blindfold over your sphincter muslces which will eventually become lazy, your ability to use them will decrease and this could lead to eventual death of the muscles like in the case of ganggreen on a limb or something. The doctors said that my uninary muscles although significantly atrophied can probably be loosened and excercised again with the right kind of therapy however they said I may always suffer from slightly poor control. My anal sphincter however has become so bad that they are not entirely sure if therapy will be able to help. I might have to have sphincteroplasty or another such surgery but there is a chance I may still suffer from moderate-heavy fecal incontinence. Translation: I might be stuck filling my pants for the rest of my known life. Obviously this is very depressing for me but at least now I know what is causing my problems. When I graduated from high school and first started wearing diapers full time I didn't know that other people like me exist those who just wanted to wear diapers and then others who wish to be babies which is something that never interested me. Now that I have discovered the infantilist community through the internet I know now that many actually desire to lose control and become incontinent which is something I still do not understand. I suppose it is seen as babyish by those who want to be babies so this is why they desire thst. However I see no connection between being babyish and having so sphincter control as even young babies have some sphincter control. They use diapers because they are unable to walk to the toilet and communicate their needs to their parents not because they have absolutely no sphincter control. When I started wearing diapers I didn't think that losing control was possible unless I got into some horrible accident nor did I desire it yet here it is and possibly irreversable. I suppose I am typing this to let everyone know that as long as you are wearing diapers if you don't pay attention to when you need to go you will get muscle atrophy as I did no matter how immune you may think you are or how young you are. If you wish to become incontinent as many do for whatever reason you don't need to waste money on hypnosis, illegal botox injections and trips to south asia so that you can pay some third world "doctor" to destory your bladder. Just wear don't pay attention to when you need to go and you will lose control eventually. Now as I look back at all that I have done to myself and to my body I still feel like its all a dream. I'm sick of pissing my pants and walking around in a soggy diaper every minute of the day. I can't keep a diaper dry for more than 30 minutes anymore as I'm constantly peeing at least just a little. I'm sick of walking into work and suddenly feeling a huge load of shit fill the seat of my diapers at the most inconvient moment possible. Sometimes I can go change right away other times I end up waddling around with a load in my shorts for awhile before I'm finally able to clean up. And the irony of this all is I did this to myself without even realizing it and I may be stuck like this for the rest of my life. Simon

Hey all, My doctor has started encouraging me to join support groups to help me deal with the 'stress' of being incontinent. I recently joined a group for people that suffer from incontinence caused by the same reason as mine: Muscle atrophy. Its really nice to know that I'm not the only one who is suffering from incontinence because of what seems like prolonged diaper use. Most of the other members were formally residing in rehab centers, institutions, nursing homes, mental hospitals or other residential settings where they were put into diapers while they lived there evn though they were not incontinent mostly because the nurses did not want to help them get out of bed or because they were confined to their rooms and it was "easier" for the nurses. Now they are no longer in these places but are suffering from incontinence. They have all had the same tests I've had but the cause like me is simply muscle atrophy caused by not excercising their muscles down there for years. The group meets every Tuesday night down at out local clinic but we meet for some other events like barbecues, parties etc. on the weekends as well. We are currently selling tee shirts to support our "diapers made me incontinent" campaign where we inform people about the dangers of prolonged diaper use with patients and the general public who are not incontinent.I've already made several friends in this group that I now meet with regularly. Its nice because we discuss our progress and plans to finally beat muscles atrophy and incontinence together. I feel a lot better now that I see that most of the other people are having the same difficulties as me and seeing little if any results from their kegel excercises either. It truly is a wonderful way to help me deal with the stress. Anyone else in a support group too?? SImon

Hello my name is Simon. As many of you may already know I started to wear and use adult diapers full time years ago purely because I wanted to. After wearing diapers for some years I started to notice that whenever I was not wearing a diaper like if I was changing clothes, in the shower or just not wearing one at home for some reason I would start to pee or crap in my pants, on the floor, in the shower etc. I began to become very concerned about this and saw a doctor. I have since been diagnosed with incontinence and have been on various programs now for about a year trying to regain control. I have posted on here frequently about my struggles with all of this and the fact that I have no yet experienced any improvement. Being diagnosed with incontinence is very disturbing for me as I did not even think in a million years that wearing diapers full time may cause me to lose control nor did I desire at all to lose any control over my bodily functions. I just wanted to wear diapers and I didn't seem any harm at all in that. It seems that no matter what I do no matter how hard I try and for how long I can NOT stop having accidents in my pants. I just start pissing or crapping my pants without warning and I try like hell to stop after it starts but its no use. I haven't made it successfully to the toilet even once since I started seeking treatment fot this. I saw the doctors again today and they said that it is possible that my muscles have become so weak and possibly atrophied from disuse that I may be physically unable to do my kegel excercises and contract my muscles after I start to void. They did some more tests on me today but they said I am most likely definately going to need some long term extensive therapy and possibly surgery in order to correct this problem. I am seriously starting to worry that this may be permenant as I honestly can't tell when I need to go at all or stop when I start to go. The doctors are worried that I may always have poor control. Meanwhile I have become completely dependent on the diapers I originally chose to wear for fun and can't do anything or go anywhere without them and I don't know what in the world to do. It is very unsettling to not know when I am going to wet or soil myself and I constantly have to make sure I have extra diapers available everywhere I go: At home, in the car, at work etc. I try everyday now to stop voiding when I start but I can't stop the flow. I am trying stick to a timed voiding chart but unplanned accidents are still happening daily. I don't know what to do. Should I be worried???? In everyone's opinion what is causing my problems, why am I not able to easily regain my control and is it possible that I may be like this for the rest of my life????

Hey all, I have apparently become incontinent due to extended diaper use, muscles atrophy etc. and its been over a year now that I have been on several stupid, dead end, fruitless programs with several different doctors to try to get some control. They basically all say the same thing: Just be patient, keep doing the kegel excercises and control will come with time etc. and blah blah blah. Well its been over a year now and I still have like no control so I feel like they mus be sugar coating the reality and not telling it to me like it is!! I mean god if I am never going to get my control back I wish they would just say that instead of filling me with all this false hope!!! I know none of you are dcotrs but I am going to explain my situation and I want you're honest opinions about my condition. Am I doing something wrong?? Is it possible for me to regain at leats a little control etc. O.k with urinating its this: I pee about every ten to fifteen minutes and I can't tell when I need to pee. Its usually just a few little squirts etc. but it comes without warning. Its like this all day I am usually always peeing a little bit. My doctor says this is most likely becase my bladder is very small now and can't hold a lot of pee so it needs to empty itself constantly. Also sometimes usually when I am standing up or something I'll just start spilling a bunch of pee into my diaper. There is no stream to it ever anymore its like it just spills slowly out without any warning. Its just this streamless bunch of pee that keeps leaking out. O.k with bowel movements its this: I crap quite frequently about two or three times a day usually at random times. I can never tell when I need to go and my poop just seems to push itself out like it has a mind of its own and there is no stopping it. I usually won't have a bowel accident if I have something against my bottom for example a hard chair, a mattress etc. but a lot of the time the minute I get off that hard chair, mattress etc thats when the accidents happen. For example sometimes I'll be laying in bed on my back with my bottom up against my hard not so comfortable mattress and everything will be fine then when I switch to my side I'll have an accident. Its like the minute my butt gets off the hard mattress I'll start soiling my diaper. Does that make any sense at all?? My doctors honestly have no idea why I am experiencing that but because I also can no longer control when I pass gas they think there may be something wrong with my schincer muscle or whatever possibly from not excercising them. I don't know what to make of any of it. All I know is I've tried every damn program there is including kegels, timed bowel movements, charts, schedules and a million and one other things but nothing seems to be helping at all. The fact is I still have basically no control and no one including the doctors really knows why. Has anyone else here experienced incontinence like this before?? If so how did you overcome it or did you not?? Does anyone have any advice as to what else I can try that may help or just tell me it like it is and say that this incontinence is permanent. Thanks all. Simon

Hello everybody!! My name is Simon and I posted my story on this site awhile ago about my history with incontinence. Basically my story is this I started wearing diapers full time a lont time ago just because I wanted to. I didn't need to at the time I just wanted to wear them all the time so I did. Now years later I've realized that if I'm not wearing a diaper things don't go to well. For example I'll have a bowel movement in the shower or wet my pants in the car on the way to the store to buy more diapers. When I first noticed this I freaked out and saw a doctor who has since diagnosed me with incontinence. The cause of it is a mystery to everyone as there is literally nothing physically wrong with me but I am now trying to get my control back so that I can have the choice to go without diapers if I want to or need to again. The problem is this: Its been months since I've been diagnosed and on this stupid program with my doctor but I have seen almost no improvement at all. I haven't made it even close to the toilet at all since I've started this program and I'm still having daily accidents without warning. This is very puzzling to both me and all the doctors. I just don't seem to have enough control anymore and its very unsettling for me. Last time I posted something on here some other users mentioned the possibility of muscle atrophy in my muscles. I am afraid I may have this because I can't tell when I need to go to the bathroom and I can't stop when I start going. For example when I realize I'm wetting or soiling my diaper I try to stop in the middle but I phsyically can't. My muscles have a mind of their own now. My question is is there any way that I can find out if my muscles have atrophied?? Is there a test I can do at home or at the doctor's office?? And how common is muslce atrophy in the bowel and bladder muscles?? Just curious. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!! Simon

Well now that its almost the season swimming has been on my mind lately. My question is this how do you guys handle swimming being incontinent? Have any of you had any awful swimming experiences? I had one last summer that was so bad I've been petrified of swimming ever since. I had been wearing diapers full time right? But I never thought I would need to wear them swimming. After all I never wore my underwear swimming and I did not think I was at all incontinent at this point so I just got in my swimming trunks without a diaper of course and hopped in. Now the occasion was for a friend's niece's birthday so this was actually at a water park. They had waterslides and rides etc. Because this was a birthday they also had ALOT of food. Junk food of course and I of course ate ALOT of this junk food while I was at this party. I did notice during the party that I was peeing rather frequently in the pool but I guess I figured it didn't matter cause everyone has peed in a pool at some point right? I also peed several times when I was out of the pool though but it was o.k cause no one noticed as I was already wet anyway from swimming. It wasn't until I finally got a turn at the waterslide that the crisis hit. I was standing in line for the waterslide wuth a friend when I started to feel a bit sick like most everyone else from all the junk food. I peed a little bit on the ground while I was in line but everyone just assumed it was from my wet swim suit dripping thank god. By the time I finally got up to the front of the line my I felt pretty sick but I got on the mat to go the waterslide anyway when it was finally my turn. Then disaster struck: As I sat down on the mat I felt something warm in my swim trunks. I thought I was just peeing again so I didn't say anything until the guy running the waterslide pushed me off then it got bad. My bowels went crazy and I started pooping on the waterslide. I freaked out and tried to make it stop but it was hopeless my poo was pushing itself out. A trail of runny crap followed me all the way down the waterslide all the way until the little pool at the bottom. My mat and swimming trunks were covered in crap by the time I hit the pool at the bottom of the slide. Everyone stared at me in disgust and they had to close the entire section of the park off so that they could drain everything and clean it all up. All these little kids were glaring at me because they had to leave that section of the park as I stood there in my poop filled swimming trunks. It was one of the most humiliating days of my life. I cleaned myself up in their locker room and put a diaper on. I accidentally soiled my diaper two times during the car ride home. It was awful and I've been petrified of swimming ever since. A friend invited me to a swimming party in two weeks and I'm wondering if thei is anything I as an incontinent person can do to prevent these type of things from happening to me again. Any suggestions? Thanks Simon

Hey all, Thanks for the advice. You guys are a great support group! There is something else I need to add though. I have been in diapers for a lot longer than three years. I simply started noticing the symptoms I described in my post after I'd been wearing them three years. Simon

Hey Rickibrat, They took a bunch of tests on me but nothing seems to be wrong. Everything is healthy and normal. Thats why the doctor said at first that this wasn't medical now hes saying its self induced meaning I did or do it I guess to myself. He even too a diabetis test on me but I don't have that either. Simon

Hey all! Remember me? The idiot with what? ah yes I have a medical term for it now: self induced incontinence? I saw the doctor a few days ago and thats what hes calling it now: the constant dribbling, leakage,accidents,constant peeing etc. that I first began to notice after about my third year of full time diaper use. Strangely enough I'm a dl or something of the sort and I actually devloped this strange problem after long term diaper use by choice. I never imagined that I would actually ever need the diapers though. Anyway before the doctor was saying my problem was not medical but now hes saying that this "condition" is caused by a lack of excercising my schpinter muscles over a period of time or something like that so anyway to make a long story short I've idiotically developed a bit of actual incontinence. The doctor says this is probably only temporary and I should be able to gain control back again. I'm posting this because I'm having some problems with this chart he gave me to follow and am hoping some people on here may be able to help as nothing seems to be working for me so far. My doctor says I first need to keep tabs on my urine flow and go to the toiler every time I feel the slightest need. Once on the toilet I'm supposed to try to stop my flow in the middle to help excercise my schpincer and then practice holding my urine at increasingly longer intervals before going to the toilet. After I've "mastered" this he claims we can proceed to the bowels. Well my problemis this: None of his process seems to be working for me. I sit around all day with a pen and paper trying to "monitor" my flow but I'm ALWAYS peeing: dribbling a little into my diaper. I try to stop the dribbling mid drop but to no avail. I even sit on the toilet watching the dribbling but it never stops so I eventually just give up put my diaper back on and keep dribbling. Larger mounts of urine are equally as impossible. Here are two examples from just today: I was sitting on the couch when I noticed a larger than normal squirt if you will so I quickly stood up to head to the bathroom but soaked my diapers as I stood up less than fifteen seconds later. example 2: I was laying on my bed this morning when I felt the urge so I got up and ran like hell for the toilet but I was wet before I even took three steps. When I do feel the urge for larger amounts of urine it always seems to be too late already! I want to know how I'm supposed to make it to the toilet at all on time much less hold it in "increasing intervals" if I pee less than thrity seconds after I feel the need!? Who can make it to a toilet in less than thirty seconds? Any ideas? I'm stumped and beginning to really get worried. Its not possible for this to be permanent is it? Simon

I think it depends on the person. I know people that that have been wearing diapers 24/7 for years and still have control yet I know others that have constant accidents after only a few months. I myself wore 24/7 for four and half years and I did start having accidents. But the accidents most people have are urge type accidents. For example you feel like you need to go and then go within seconds. For me it started with the urge type accidents but later became non stop dribbling into my diaper and occasional leakage of stool. Not fun believe me you don't want to get to that point. Simon

Hey All, My name is Simon and I'm new on this site. I have a bit of an odd situation here but here it is: I'm a dl or something of the sort I suppose and about six years ago I started wearing diapers full time because I wanted to. Well after about four years of that I actually developed a little form of incontinence. I stopped wanting to wear the diapers about three years ago but still do as I dribble non stop now and also frequently have accidents with larger amounts of urine. I try to spend as much time without diapers now as possible but I find that I need to wear them in public or when I;m working cause I'm afriad I'll have an accident as I often do. I've been doing the damn pelvic floor excercises and all that crap for months now. Bowel accidents have become far less frequent but I am still dribbling non stop into my diapers and sometimes leaking a little stool too. I always thought that wearing diapers all the time would be fun but when I never expected it to go this far. Now I just want to get to the point where I can go out in public in a normal pair of underwear without freaking out that I may have an accident. My problem I know as the doctor said is not from a medical problem so why is it taking so long for me to regain full control? Does anyone have any suggestions for me? All comments will be appreciated. Thanks. Simon

Hey All, My name is Simon and I'm new here on this board. This is actually pretty much my first experience with message boarding at all really so bare with me here! I've had a thing for diapers I guess all of my life the difference with me is when I was 18 I made a bad choice and decided to wear diapers full time for fun or whatever. This choice had some consequences for me so now what I'm trying to do is kinda share my story with other people who are thinking about or currently trying to forget about the toilet and wear diapers all the time. There are some things you may need to know before you do it. Anyway let me begin by saying I've loved diapers all my like I suppose. Even when I was like 5 years old I can remember watching my mom diaper my baby sister and feeling like "Hey diaper me too!". I personally didn;t reakky think much of my desires to wear diapers again until I was about 13 then the urge got really strong! I;d be in Walmart or some other such place and literally go crazy inside when I would see the diaper section. I have no idea why but I always felt like ripping open a package of the things and diapering myself right there in the store. I never did though as much as I wanted to and in fact I even felt a little embarrassed whenever someone else in the store would see me looking at the diapers. At 13 my parents had started leaving me home alone more frequently and it was at this point that I realized U could make my own make shift diapers to wear at home when no one else was around. I spent hours making the lamest improptu-type diapers out of anything I could find bed sheets, towels and once even some of my mom's period pads cause I thought they would be absorbant. I wore them whenever I was home alone and hid them in my room. I peed in them frequently and pooped a few times too but they always seemed to leak and were a pain to clean up. Well it was only a matter of time before my mom's tookie nose discovered a soiled make shift diaper under my bed when I was 15. She was really upset and started acting like I was a pervert but my antics continued. My mom eventually got so upset by my "perversion" that she took all the bed sheets off the beds and hid all the towels in a cabinet she had under lock and key! This really bothered me as I didn;t and I still don't see anything wrong with wearing diapers. The next few years were hell for me as my mom's constant anger about my diapers actually got me sent to a therapist that told me my need to wear diapers was a security issue and that wearing diapers was a way for me to feel better about myself and boost my supposedly low self esteem. I didn't and don't believe a word of it though cause I wasn't depressed, suicidal or insecure. I had friends, made good friends, played baseball on the school team and was happy. All I wanted was to wear diapers and everyone was acting like I was some kind of ax murderer because of it. My mom's constant obsession with keeping all things diaper away from me for the two years that followed really got to me and on my 18th birthday a few weeks after my high school graduation I moved out. I rented a crappy little apartment on the other side of town, Sure it felt a bit lonely but good as hell to be away from my mom. It wasn't all that long before I moved out that I realized I could do whatever I wanted without my mom's coinstant bitch fits and soon I discovered real diapers. I had a friend named Bryan that also moved out right after graduation mostly because his parents just didn't care. He got a job at a medical supply store and was making like fifteen bucks an hour no kidding. So naturally right after he told me one of the check girls quit I was down to apply for a job. Well when I walked into that store I was surprised to discover aisles and aisles full of diapers for people my size and even some discount adult size super absorbant specials!! They were wonderfully stacked on a shelf like a miracle from heaven. I couldn't believe it. Then I thought they only made diapers for babies but boy was I wrong. Not caring about what anyone else saw I impulsively bought a jumbo pack of the super absorbant diapers I saw and took them home with me, After i had one on I felt so free and was hooked, From that day on I decided to wear diapers all the time not simply just to say in your face mom but also because I finally felt like I could freely express a part of myself that my mom, therapists and culture had been trying to kill all my life. I was finally free to be me! Well what happened next: I got a little carried away. I wore the diapers non stop all the time because I wanted to. Sure at first it was hard to start wearning diapers all the timr. Walking in them is a whole different process from walking in underwear as some of you may knoe and using them well that was difficult to get used to. Nonetheless I quickly and eagerly adapted to wearing diapers and after that I wore them non stop 24/7 for about four and a hlaf years. I literally didn;t sit on a toilet for four years simply because I didn;t want to. I was having way too much fun in diapers! At first everything about wearing diapers all the time was great. I just wore them underneath my clothes when I was out in public too used them wherever I was and no one even knew but then probab;ly during my second or third year of wearing diapers 24/7 I started noticing some strange things you should probably be aware of before you try what I did. The first thing I noticed was that I started waking up wet in the morning without actually remembering wetting myself at night, I had never been a bed wtter nor was I trying to become one so I thought this was pretty strange. Of course when I first started out with the diapers and I would wake up in the middle of the night needing to pee I would just wet my diaper then go back to sleep so I figured I was doing that it wasn;t all that unusual but then some other strange things started happening to me. Suddenly I noticed that I seemed to be peeing ALL THE TIME. It was weird and I was scared I had an infection, diabetis or something, I wasn't peeing a lot just constantly dribbling into my diaper and of course peeing in larger volumes too when needed but still I was constantly dribbling into my diaper like a leaky faucet that wouldn't quit dripping!! I also started feeling like I needed to pee all the time which actually was a really uncomfortable feeling especially when you're wearing your toilet. I started going through the diapers like water literally as I needed to br changed WAY MORE frequently during the day. I decided to put that in the back of my mind to though after I had several tests for infection, diabetis etc. and they all came back negative. Yet more started happening yet I noticed that when I would take my diaper off to take a shower I would continue to dribble a little even without my diaper on and I started peeing in larger volumes almost every time I took a shower. It was weird and started to freak me out a little bit because I was not actually trying to piss in my shower. It wasn't until I accidentally pooped once in my shower that I really started to get concerned. What was going on with me? I was getting way too used to wearing diapers. It wasn't like I stopped notcing altogether when I needed to go to the bathroom although that did happen sometimes especially with my constant dribbling. It was more like I would get a slight urge to go and then I would go IMMEDIATELY after that. My bidy showed me no mercy. I started getting scared whenever I wasn't wearing my diapers that I would start to go and a few times I actually did including one rather awful pooping experience in a swimming pool. I couldn't enjoy swimming anymore. Diapers were no longer something I wore for fun they were in control of my life. One Saturday when I had nothing to do I made a point of monitoring my diaper use as it seemed I was getting way too sed to constantly wearing a diaper. So in the morning I removed my wet night diaper and got in a fresh one then I sat in front of the T.V with a pen and a paper planning to reocrd each use I had no matter how small. It was then that I really realzied I was going too far. I dribbled a bit on accident as I chomped my breakfast cereal but no big deal right? Then later when I saw something funny on T.V I laughed and I felt a large squirt of pee in my diaper flowwoed by more dribbling. I was trying to record this on the paper when suddenly the door bell rang and as I got up to answer it I started peeing in a large volume. Ah man! I said to myself. I'll record that to a second. I opened the door expecting it to be the Jehovah's Witnesses or some such group when to my surprise I saw the angelic face of an old girlfriend from high school Melissa. I'll admit I was crazy about her but I forced myself to forget about her after I found out she was engaged to a friend Senior year. When I saw her face everything stopped and I squirted some more pee into my diaper in shock followed by more dribbling. Man I was like a non stop peeing machine! She had been by my mom's place and just wanted to see how I was as she was in town for a few days for a funeral. She came into my living room that reeked of rotten diapers and sat on my pee stained couch from my recent attempts to be diaper free. I felt lost in everything she was telling me about what she had been doing, her studies, her parents everything then suddenly I was brought back down to earth as I suddenly farted loudly. She looked at me in shock and giggled. What was that? Another weird thing that started happening I started farting a lot without realizing it after my third year of being in diapers. I felt my face burn as I dribbled some more into my diaper then stumbled some bull shit about my squeky shoes. Soon afterwards I felt a sudden urge to poo and started doing so immediately afterwards. I didn't even think about what was happening as I listened to her voice although I was aware of my poo oozing out of my bottom and spreading quickly across the seat of my diaper. I peed a little more as she told me she missed me and that she wanted to call me but lost my number then suddenly reality set in as I felt the rest of poo push itself into my diaper followed by a farting sound that was muffled by the padding i the seat of my diaper. A really foul smell filled the room and Melissa stared at me in disgust. I stared down at myself in horror as I realized I had just shit myselfin front of my ex girlfriend and I think she knew it. I stood up in a hurry and tried to waddle quickly away but because it was Saturday and I was wearing my oversized sweat pants I always did to bed. I started to sag. I tripped on my sagging pant leg and fell on the carpet with nearly my entire diapered bottom exposed to Melissa. I peed a little more as I fell. The image of Melissa's disgusted yet shocked face as she sat there staring at me in my poop filled diaper is something I think about everyday. She called me a freak and left the apartment immediately I never saw her again. Shortly after that I went to the doctor to discuss the problems I'd been having and I actually had developed a form of incontinence. I could wear diapers all I wanted then but it was no longer really a choice or for fun. Years later I have mostly regained everything I lost during those years I spent in diapers but I still do have occasional accidents and always need to have diapers around as I wear them always in public or when I;m working. I wet the bed still without even trying and usually wear my diapers to bed not because I want to but because I need to. Wearing diapers was fun and I still do enjoy some of it but I never intended for it to become a necessity as it pretty much has. So for all of you out there that are thinking of trying to wear diapers all the time. Think about what may happen before you do it. Stop when stop notcing when you're peeing and for those of you who actually want to become incontinent for whatever reason realize that its not something you can turn on and off and that it may not be what you're expecting. If you really are incontinent you need to wear diapers ALL THE TIME. No matter wear you are and if you don't you will have accidents. Consider things you may not be able to enjoy if you really do become like me: Swimming, sleep overs and fashionable pants are just a few. Thank you for allowing me to share my sotry with you. Any and all comments will be greatly apreciated guys. Thanks! Simon the newbie