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lilchris

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  1. Warning: Long post ahead. I've had potty accidents all my life. I am an adult baby. Maybe the two are related, maybe not. When I am stressed out or upset or scared or sad the accidents are much more frequent than at other times. When I was in 7th grade I ran afoul of a bunch of bullies. What that did to me you can probably imagine. Things - including winter boots or my overcoat - went missing. I got beaten up a few times. Most of 7th grade was living hell. Every day I would feel like crying on the mile long walk home from the school bus. I lost myself in daydreams. One day - must have been early October, I remember fall colors and sunshine but a chilly breeze, I woke up from a daydream when I felt myself pooping. I managed to stop, but there would be no hiding it. Mom of course was not thrilled at her 12 year old having pooped his pants. Even less so when this happened again and again. She knew I was being bullied, but she didn't think that justified me pooping in my pants. In the beginning I genuinely tried to make it home - pooping at a school bathroom was out of the question without reliable locks on the stalls. After a few times, though, I realized that pooping in my pants made me feel better. Pretty much since potty training I had wanted my diapers back, but was too scared to tell my parents because I thought they would send me away because they wouldn't want the only kid in the world who wanted to be in diapers. (Silly, I know.) So having accidents became something comforting, something to deal with the crushing pressure of school and the bullying. I knew mom would yell at me, but I could deal with that. She never punished me physically. Sometimes I only noticed when I already had finished pooping but even if I could have held most of it I pooped the rest in my pants intentionally. Eventually, towards the end of the year, the bullying receded somewhat, as the bullies found some other targets, so they couldn't focus on me alone anymore. What remained was me liking pooping in my pants a lot. I wished I had diapers, but pooping in my undies was the second best thing. The accidents eventually became infrequent again and I - too scared to continue doing it on purpose on my way home, pooped in my pants in secret every once in a while. Every phase of my life when I was totally stressed out - finals, job hunting, high stress positions - the accidents became more frequent. Eventually I moved to another country and again was stressed out for a while so I started buying diapers, first for evening and night, then 24/7, so when I don't have accidents I poop in my diaper on purpose. Diapers made life with part incontinence so much easier, but even before pooping in my pants helped me cope with the most stressful times of my life many a time. I am not sure how things would have turned out otherwise. It took me years to understand how much positive influence diapers, being AB and pooping in my pants had on me. At age 15-16 I would have given anything to be 'normal', to not want diapers and not enjoy pooping in my pants. Deep down I knew this was never going to be, but I wished for it anyway. Today I would not want to be any different. I am who I am. I work in a high stress position and being little and in diapers helps manage that. Being me is good.
  2. I wear a one piece snowsuit, too. Would hate to strip in a lodge restroom to use the potty. I wear 24/7, so I don't really have to decide, but I started wearing on the mountain long before I went 24/7.
  3. That's an interesting answer. Why would wearing diapers when skiing be strange? I haven't been on the slopes undiapered for years and given the state of most lodge restrooms I think I am justified in not using them.
  4. I've been wearing 24/7 for a long time and still enjoy it.
  5. I recommend discussing it with her before she finds out. Would you have your SO spring something
  6. I've been little for as long as I can remember - back to before I was fully potty trained. I don't know what triggered it, but I do have a few memories of events that contributed. As I was potty trained very late, so
  7. I hadn't seen this one, even though the roadrunner cartoons are among my favorites. Thanks for posting!
  8. I can relate to the 'it just feels right'. Thats why I started wearing 24/7 and I've never regretted it.
  9. Of course there are people who are so insecure that they can't wear what they like and must make fun of everyone else who does.
  10. I got the Superman and Batman (footless but one piece) jammies from Target. Fun, but I like my real fleece jammies better.
  11. Initially I was scared about buying in public, but I found out noone cares. People don't notice anything outside their own little world of thoughts and things.
  12. I remember being in the bathroom, about 4 years old. It was in our old house, the bathroom window looking over empty meadows northward. And me staring outside while mommy scolded me for still needing diapers in general an having pooped in my diaper this day in particular. I guess otherwise I only wet myself at that age. There are other scattered memories but this is the most relevant one for the thread.
  13. I have been wearing 24/7 for years and never needed an excuse. If someone who I don't want to know the truth, should ask, I am going to tell them "I would prefer not to discuss the issue." I don't see a reason to lie.
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