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[JDL23]

Although this is an AB/DL story, it's also a work of fan fiction regarding the manga and anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion (which officially belongs to Hideaki Anno). For those who aren't familiar with the work, you can learn more here.

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Chapter One

“Unit-01 sync ratio at sixty-five-point-three percent and holding,” First Lieutenant Maya Ibuki reported.

Dr. Ritsuko Akagi looked over the young woman’s shoulder at the readout. Sure enough, the pilot for Eva Unit-01 was in doing all right with the synchronization tests.

But “all right” doesn’t cut it for Shinji, Ritsuko thought. Still, I suppose we can chalk this one up to that last Angel…

It had been two days since the last Angel attack at Nerv Headquarters—an assault by the latest Angel, Gamaliel, a hideous floating blue torso with six arms and one eye on a stalk. Despite the damage done to their Eva Units, all three pilots not only survived the encounter but destroyed the Angel in a coordinated strike. However, Rei and Asuka had reported an intense psychic probe by the Angel during the attack, which had nearly caused them to lose the battle if not for Shinji’s intervention. Ritsuko was all too aware of the psychic abilities of Angels, so she wasn’t surprised that the pilots’ sync ratios weren’t testing as high as usual today.

Beyond the window of the control panel, the three gargantuan Evangelion Units stood tall inside their restraint frames. Multicolored and disturbingly humanoid, they were the last line of defense for the human race. And the only people who could be depended on to pilot them were children—young, capable, emotionally scarred children.

The Eva Units had been successfully repaired after the last Angel attack, the sync tests being the final stage before clearance for active duty. Ritsuko had done these tests time and time again, yet there was something about the aftermath of this last attack that had her feeling sensitive about the current results.

“How are their vitals reading?” she asked out loud.

“Average blood pressure is one-seventeen over seventy-two,” Makoto Hyuga said from the monitor on Ritsuko’s right. “Respiratory and heart rates are trending just below the normal range.”

“I see.” Ritsuko leaned past Lieutenant Ibuki’s shoulder and triggered the microphone into the Eva Unit holding area just beyond the window. “Shinji, Rei, Asuka, how are you feeling physically right now?”

From inside the violet-armored Unit-01, Shinji answered in a small nervous voice, “Uh, just fine, I guess. I mean, if we’re almost done, I can wait a little longer—”

“Hey, Dr. Akagi! Can’t you hurry the stupid test up?” This was Asuka, the pilot of Unit-02, operating with her usual tact and civility. “It feels like we’ve been here for ages! And I really gotta use the bathroom!”

“You had plenty of time to use the restroom before the test began,” Ritsuko answered. “I’m sure you can manage a little while more, Asuka. Rei, how about you?”

From inside Unit-00: “I’m well, Dr. Akagi.”

“No urgent need for a bathroom break?” Ritsuko asked, sharing a smile with Ibuki.

“No. I can wait until the test is finished.”

“Grrr!” Asuka exclaimed. “This is unbearable!”

“Uh, Dr. Akagi, I think Asuka might have a point,” Shinji chimed in. “I’m kinda starting to need to go, too.”

Ritsuko looked over at Hyuga. “Any other biometric data we should be checking?”

The young lieutenant shook his head. “They seem more jittery than usual, but everything else checks out—”

“Doctor, we’ve got a drop in synchronization!” Ibuki reported suddenly. Ritsuko was at her side in an instant, watching the readout give off fragmented pulse lines. “All three pilots are de-synchronizing at a rate of three percentage points per second!”

“What in the world is going on?” Ritsuko asked, her brow furrowing. She reached for the microphone again. “Shinji, can you tell me what’s going on in there?”

“I don’t know!” he answered in a panic. “I… I can’t seem to keep control! And I… oh. Uh oh…”

“Shinji, what’s wrong?”

“…I, uh, may need a clean plug suit when this test is over.”

“Ugh, me, too!” Asuka added with a voice full of disgust.

“It appears I’ve had the same accident as well,” Rei reported dutifully.

For a moment, everything was quiet in the control room. Then Ritsuko lowered her head and slowly rubbed at her eyes.

“I really, really hope we can blame this on the Angels,” she said softly, “because there is no way I’m telling Commander Ikari we have to potty train our Eva pilots all over again.”

[spectrumshade]

I remember playing maps of this manga on Brood War haha although not with an AB/DL tint to it. Anyway... It was rather interesting and a good start. Hope to see more.

[Bonsai]

Good how you linked it to synchronization!

[JDL23]

I'll try to post new chapters regularly on Mondays, but just to tide you over...

---

Chapter Two

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Ritsuko!” Major Misato Katsuragi brandished the report folder at the scientist like it was her sidearm. “This can’t possibly be right!”

“We tested them exhaustively,” Ritsuko answered, hoping her calmer tone might wear out Misato’s latest bout of frustration. “They have all the same condition—a weakness of bladder muscles that we can only assume was the result of the psychic field generated by the last Angel. I know it’s not what you want to hear right now, but hopefully we’ll have some time before the next Angel strikes. If we start treatment and rehabilitation right away, they might be fully recovered before the next assignment.”

Misato sank back into her office chair and growled at the back of her throat. “Okay, fine. What kind of treatment are we looking at now?”

“They’ll need to go through a strenuous regimen of pelvic-tightening exercises, along with a strict schedule for bathroom visits and liquid consumption.” Ritsuko folded her arms across her chest, preparing herself for the next barrage that was sure to come when she added, “And as a precaution, they’ll need to be fitted for absorbent undergarments until they regain total muscle control.”

Misato blinked. “You mean… diapers?”

“I’m afraid so.”

Groaning, Misato put her head down on her desk. “How is it I’m the only commander in Nerv whose pilots have to be toilet trained?”

“Well, I wouldn’t explain it to them with those words,” Ritsuko offered with a smile. “If it helps, you can call it an additional garment for a plug suit, much like astronauts wear diapers with their EVA suits.”

Lifting her head from the desk, Misato gave her colleague a bitter glance. “Hey, hold on a second! What do you mean when I explain it to them? Haven’t you told them yet?”

“The medical staff only compiled this report an hour ago, so they’ve been under close observation this whole time. Not to mention, as Operations Director, you’re obligated to hear the results before them.”

“Oh, how convenient!” Misato folded her arms and stared at the report on her desk. “I hope that this next Angel takes its sweet time getting here because I doubt this is going to be over soon enough.”

---

“WHAT?” Asuka Langley Soryu exclaimed—right into Shinji’s ear, making him wince away from her. He leaned past her elbow to get a better glimpse at Misato, who stood in the doorway of the patient observation room at Central Dogma.

“I said, for the foreseeable future, it looks like you’re going to have to wear absorbent undergarments,” Misato answered, sounding calm but just barely. “I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but until we get this problem taken care of, you’re going to have to wear them. It’s no different than what astronauts wear on space walks, so you might as well get used to the idea.”

Asuka folded her arms defiantly. “Well, I won’t! Diapers are for babies and little kids! This ‘problem’ is nothing that a little self-discipline and willpower can’t solve!”

Misato mirrored her stance, giving the younger woman an amused smile. “Oh, really? Well, as your commanding officer and guardian, I have final say in the matter, and what I say is…” She stepped toward Asuka, leaning right into her face with a severe frown. “If you so much as have an accident anywhere inside my apartment or at Nerv Headquarters, I will put you in a diaper myself! Is that clear, Soryu?”

Asuka shrank back in surprise. “Uh… yes, ma’am!”

Shinji Ikari tentatively lifted a hand from behind the redheaded pilot. “M-Misato? Are we, uh, going to have to wear these undergarments all the time?”

“Yes, but only as a precaution, Shinji.” Misato offered him an encouraging smile. “If you all get through your rehabilitation quick enough, it won’t really matter whether or not you actually use them.”

“Oh. Okay.” Shinji dropped back into his chair, feeling only slightly less worse than when he and the others had to strip out of their soiled plug suits. He couldn’t imagine how it would feel to be back in a diaper, but then, he’d never imagined he’d one day get to pilot an Eva into battle either.

His life, it seemed, had a peculiar way of subverting all his expectations, which was why he tried very hard not to do, say, or even think anything that might upset someone else.

“I have a question.” Everyone in the room turned to Rei Ayanami, the blue-haired pilot who’d been attentively silent until now. She kept her hands folded in her lap and stared up at Misato with a placid gaze. “When will be begin the rehabilitation process?”

“Dr. Akagi thinks it’s best if we start first thing tomorrow at 0700,” Misato replied. “The first exercise routine will run until 1700, with two fifteen-minute breaks and one hour for lunch. You have the rest of this weekend to get a head start, and once you go back to school on Monday, you’ll be doing exercises from 0500 to 0600 in the morning and again from 1600 to 2100 in the evening.”

“You mean we have to wear these stupid diapers to school?” Asuka put a hand to her head as if she were going to faint. “Mein Gott, this is humiliating!”

“Asuka, let me put it to you like this,” Misato replied coolly. “As much as you might hate the thought of wearing diapers, it will at least keep your plug suit dry and help you focus on being an Eva pilot.” She grinned as she palmed the control panel, causing the door behind her to open. “Trust me, you do not want to have urine or other body fluids mixing with the LCL in your entry plug. It’s a smell that’s doesn’t bear describing.”

As soon as Misato left, Shinji glanced over at Rei. Without saying a word, the two of them got up and moved around Asuka on their way out, leaving her to stand completely dumbfounded with clenched fists in the middle of the observation room.

[JDL23]

Chapter Three

Shinji sat on his bed, staring at the package that Nerv medical staff had just delivered to Misato’s apartment. He knew it had to be this way, but the more he thought about having to wear a diaper, the more embarrassed he became, and with that, his urge to pee became greater and greater until…

With a sigh, he tore open the package, took off his pants, and proceeded to put the diaper on. The instructions on the side of the package were clear enough, but when Shinji was done, the tapes didn’t line up right and so the diaper was loose and sagging on him. He knew it was only his first time, but he would have to practice more if he wanted the thing to fit and stay hidden under his clothes.

I sure hope Dr. Akagi can figure out a solution, Shinji thought glumly, because I don’t want to get used to doing this.

When he heard someone approaching, Shinji grabbed his pants and pulled them up as fast as he could. But before he could properly button them, the door slid open. He saw Misato leaning against the doorframe, arms folded across her chest, and offering a friendly smile.

“How’s it going, Shinji?” she asked, her hand absently touching the cross necklace she always wore. “Are you able to manage it on your own?”

Shinji tried to cover up the exposed diaper with his hands, although he couldn’t hide the blush on his cheeks. “I… I think I can handle it, Misato. Thanks!”

Misato frowned, then stepped into the room, making Shinji freeze up with another bout of anxiety. Still, he didn’t resist when his commanding officer and roommate bent down to inspect the diaper. He did, however, blush even more when she quickly readjusted the tapes for a better fit.

“There we go,” Misato declared, giving another friendly smile. “It’s okay if you want to ask for help, Shinji. It’s all part of my job.”

“Oh, well…” Shinji tried a smile of his own, though he felt terrible inside. “Well, I… I wouldn’t want to make your job any harder than it has to be.”

The smile on her face vanished in response. “My job, Shinji, is to do whatever it takes to help you and Asuka do your jobs. I have to look out for your well-being—physically, mentally, and emotionally.” Before he could react, Misato put her arms around Shinji and gave him a deep hug. “I can’t imagine how this must feel, but I promise it won’t be forever. It’s just like piloting the Eva: you might not like it, but in the long run, it’s much healthier to go along with it.”

The young pilot had no response for that. All he could think about was how warm it was in Misato’s embrace and how he was wearing a diaper and how much he felt like a baby in her mother’s arms and—

“Ah!” Shinji exclaimed, glancing down to confirm what he feared had happened. Sure enough, he’d wet himself as easily as he’d done in the plug suit. The diaper contained it pretty well, although he didn’t like the sensation of that liquid warmth gathered around his crotch.

Misato pulled back and looked down at Shinji’s distress. “Don’t worry, Shinji. It’s for moments like this that Ritsuko wants you all to wear diapers.” She patted him on the shoulder as she turned away. “Just remember to change when you feel to need to. I have powder and wipes ready in the bathroom.”

“R-right!” Shinji answered, although he was more focused on the wet diaper he was wearing than on what Misato was saying. He gave the padding a tiny prod, then sighed and sat down on his bed, wondering how he was going to be able to focus on being a student and an Eva pilot while diapered and wet.

---

Asuka paced around the inside of her room, her fists tight and at her sides, her stride as quick and confident as ever. She couldn’t afford any weakness right now, not when her dignity was on the line—and what could be more undignified than a fight against her own bladder?

She didn’t care what Dr. Akagi or Misato had to say. She would not become some poor incontinent girl who had to rely on the care of others. She was Asuka Langley Soryu, the Second Child, the pilot of Eva Unit-02, and no Angel attack, psychic or otherwise, could break her will that easily.

Still, it occurred to Asuka, in the midst of her pacing, that Second Child was a phrase she didn’t use when referring to herself that often. It had been given to her by others, just as idiot Shinji was the Third Child and that Ayanami girl was the First Child. Asuka didn’t know why it was so important that Ayanami was first and not her. What made that girl—that doll—so special?

All too soon, Asuka began to realize that her thoughts were soon straying down a path of old memories and pain best left untouched. That doll… that doll gets more attention and affection than me… I’m only the Second Child, not her First… why do they love that doll and not me?!

“Mama,” she whispered past the sudden rush of tears. Asuka dropped to her knees and clenched at the pain in her stomach. She couldn’t go down that path, not back to the pain and the memories. She would overcome them. She had to! She just—

She gasped, realizing that her battle against her bladder was futile after all. Without the least bit of forewarning, she felt a warm trickle running down her legs and soaking into her panties. The tears came again, and Asuka couldn’t stop herself from crying silently in anger—at herself, more than anything else.

Anger gave away to shame when she heard footsteps outside her door. She looked up and saw Misato pulling the door open. To her surprise, the Major didn’t seem mad or disappointed when she looked at the crying teenager. Instead, her face was lined with resignation.

“Asuka,” said Misato, pulling the door closed behind her, “I told you this wasn’t going to be that easy to solve.” When Asuka didn’t answer right away, the older woman went around her and ducked into the bedroom closet. She came back out with the package of adult diapers that Nerv Medical had delivered.

“I also told you what would happen if you had an accident,” she added sternly.

Sniffling, Asuka looked away as Misato tore open the package and took out a diaper. She didn’t resist as the older woman guided her onto the bed, pulled her shorts and underwear off, and slid the diaper underneath her rear. It was everything Asuka could do to keep her mouth shut and her eyes closed. But she could hear and feel the diaper being taped up in a quick and efficient manner, as well as the soft—almost affectionate—pat of Misato’s hand on her padded butt.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way,” Misato said, “but you shouldn’t be so upset about it. We will find a way to get through this, Asuka. I promise we will.”

Asuka opened her eyes, looking up at the Major. Lying on the bed this way, with this diaper on, and looking up at an older woman—it reminded her of home in a weird way. Like she was two years old again and looking up at her mother…

No, she thought, shutting her eyes again, no, don’t think about that, don’t go there!

“Asuka?” Misato asked, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “Hey, are you all right—?”

Unable to hold back any longer, Asuka grabbed her roommate and pressed her face into her shoulder, sobbing with all her pent-up anger and bitterness. Misato was puzzled at first, but she soon embraced the girl, stroking her hair and whispering reassurances into her ear.

---

Ritsuko looked up from her monitor at the lone tank in the middle of the Dummy Plug Plant. The tank was filled with LCL, which surrounded and permeated its single floating occupant: Rei Ayanami, naked except for the diaper between her legs and the breath mask over her nose and mouth.

Except for the anomaly in her delta wave, Rei’s readouts were the same as ever. Ritsuko said as much to the other person in the chamber.

“Very well,” said Gendo Ikari. He stood next to the doctor, his gloved hands clasped behind his back, and his Nerv uniform unbuttoned as usual. He and Rei were staring at each other—the former with unreadable scrutiny, the latter with quiet interest. Ritsuko had long observed the dynamic between the two, and except for moments like this one, it was almost like that between a father and a daughter.

“Will there be anything else?” Ritsuko asked, right as the LCL inside Rei’s tank began to drain.

Gendo didn’t bother looking back at her. “No. That will be all, Dr. Akagi.”

With a curt nod at his back, Ritsuko packed up her things and began to leave. However, she stopped and glanced over at her shoulder at Rei.

“What is it, Doctor?” Gendo asked, still not giving her the satisfaction of looking at her.

You do enjoy these power games, don’t you? Ritsuko thought, but out loud she said, “If you’re going to bring Rei back to her home, you could let her know that Nerv Medical has brought over a second shipment of absorbent garments.”

“I’ll inform her of that,” Gendo replied calmly. He shifted his face so that he was at least looking at Ritsuko’s reflection in the glass tank. “That will be all, Dr. Akagi.”

Ritsuko took one last look at Rei, who observed them both with serene detachment, and then left the chamber as quickly as she could. She knew all too well what really went on between Commander Ikari and the pilot of Unit-00, but so long as she remained in her current position, she would never be in a place to do the girl any good.

As much as she was a scientist, she was also a woman, though never a mother, and it was the womanly side of her that felt concern for Rei, even indulging in fantasies of changing her diaper and giving Rei a moment of real maternal affection for once in her life. But it could never be, not while Commander Ikari and the Angels were around.

[Bonsai]

Good chapter, good building up. Characters reactions are the correct ones.

[Total Trash]

I always thought the recurring theme of mommy/daddy issues would lend this particular series well to an ABDL spinoff. I'm surprised I haven't seen it before.

[JDL23]

Good chapter, good building up. Characters reactions are the correct ones.

Thanks. I was really trying to write them as I remembered them from the anime.

I always thought the recurring theme of mommy/daddy issues would lend this particular series well to an ABDL spinoff. I'm surprised I haven't seen it before.

Normally I don't write fanfic, but I was really trying to come up with a decent ABDL story and something about Eva just seemed so right. This story might not go more than ten chapters, although it will be finished. I haven't decided yet if I'll write a sequel or do another anime fanfic with ABDL material.

[JDL23]

Chapter Four

“…Unbelievable what they’re doing nowadays with transporting Evas. They’ve got this one design that looks like a crucifix pose and… hey, Shinji? Are you listening? Shinji!”

“Huh?” Shinji sat upright at his desk. As he did, he tried not to notice the faint rustle from under his pants, though it was deafening to his ears. “Oh, sorry, Kensuke. I must have spaced out for a moment.”

Kensuke Aida, his bespectacled classmate, responded with an easygoing laugh and shrug. “Hey, no problem, Shinji. With all the heroic stuff you’ve been doing, it’s probably dull just listening to me ramble on. Which reminds me, have you heard about the latest…?”

It was Monday afternoon—lunchtime, to be specific—and Shinji was at his usual spot in the classroom. Trying to focus on his studies was hard enough without worrying about Angel attacks and having to wear diapers, but as usual he put in a good effort. It certainly didn’t help that he, Asuka, and Rei had all been subjected to several hours’ worth of pelvic-tightening exercises over the weekend—an embarrassing ordeal as far as Shinji and Asuka were concerned. All three of them in a medical suite, stripped down to t-shirts and diapers while a trio of nurses ran multiple tests.

He glanced over toward the window, where Rei sat by herself, eating quietly. If she was even capable of embarrassment, she certainly hadn’t shown any in the last two days.

“Hey, lay off him, will ya?” Toji Suzuhara leaned threateningly over Kensuke, clamping one dark-toned hand onto his friend’s shoulder. “Can’t you see he’s just not interested in your fanboy obsessions?”

“Fanboy?! The Eva is an instrument of salvation for mankind—!”

“Hey, guys, there’s really reason to argue about it,” Shinji interrupted. When they both turned toward him, he raised his hands in appeasement. “I’m just not very focused today. You know how it is.”

“Oh sure,” Toji said with a smug grin, “we know just what you mean, Mr. Awesome Eva Pilot, sir!”

Shinji let out a sigh and glanced toward the window again. At times like this, he wished he could be more like Rei and just not feel anything. At least he wouldn’t be so anxious about what he and Misato had come to call “the diaper situation.”

“Oh, really! Well, maybe he should just grow up!” someone exclaimed, breaking the comfortable din of the classroom.

The three boys turned around, not in surprise or alarm, but with quiet resignation as they watched Asuka launching into one of her classic rants. And as was usual for such rants, her unfortunate audience of one was Hikari Horaki, the class representative. As the fiery German girl espoused her opinions regarding someone who could very well have been Shinji—or any other boy in their class—the Japanese girl sat quietly, eating her lunch and doing her best to not look embarrassed despite the grandiose language and gestures that her friend was making. Between the two of them, they made a great visual for “East meets West,” polite silence vs. unabashed self-expression.

---

“…and that’s why he’s such a good-for-nothing dummkopf!” Asuka concluded. With that, she dropped back into her chair and devoured the rest of her sandwich. She didn’t know why, but her appetite was a lot stronger when she was feeling righteous.

On the other side of the desk, Hikari seemed to be blushing a little, which Asuka had come to expect as part of some strange Japanese custom that was completely lost on her. But the class representative only set down her sandwich and replied, “So, Asuka, are you still coming over on Friday?”

Asuka frowned. “Coming over? What do you mean?”

“To my house, of course. For dinner and a sleepover?”

“Oh…” Asuka started to squirm in her chair. As her righteousness faded, she grew all too conscious of the diaper she was wearing under her uniform’s skirt. No one seemed to have picked up on the fact that all three Eva pilots were wearing diapers, but it hadn’t helped that all through class Asuka felt like every single person knew, and they were all just waiting, just itching for an opportunity to say it out loud and ruin her reputation as a mature young woman forever—

“Um, Asuka?” Hikari was watching her with concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

The pilot whipped back toward her with a forced smile. “Of course I am! What a strange thing to ask! And yes, Hikari, I will be coming over on Friday. I’d never make a promise I couldn’t keep!”

She added a quick laugh, which seemed to placate her friend, but deep down, Asuka was terrified about the possibility of her shameful secret being discovered. So unless she got through the rehabilitation program ahead of Shinji and Rei, she’d never live down the humiliation that was sure to follow.

I’m Asuka Langley Soryu, she thought, envisioning herself not as a schoolgirl wearing a diaper but as a proud woman in a bright red plug suit. There’s nothing I can’t overcome, do you hear me? Nothing!

She ate the rest of her lunch in silence, letting Hikari take over the conversation for once and finding—much to her quiet amazement—that the strict but shy class rep was a lot smarter than she’d originally thought. It made Asuka wonder just what else she’d learn once she came over to the Horaki household.

---

Misato walked across the Geofront lawn as quickly and quietly as she could, trying not to give the man crouching in front of the flower bed with the watering can any forewarning. But despite all her efforts, he lifted a hand and waved without even turning around.

I forgot how well he could do that, Misato reflected briefly. She slowed down her pace, coming up to the gardener with a carefully-planted smirk on her face. “So is this how an elite operative of Nerv spends his free time? Not very practical if you ask me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Major,” Kaji Ryoji answered. He set down his watering can, and without a single pause, he stood up and turned around to face Misato with his usual grace. “I suppose I could follow your example and throw back a few cold ones as soon as my shift’s over.”

Misato folded her arms across her chest. “That’s just me rewarding myself for a job well done. What do you have except a bunch of cabbages and flowers?”

“In a world where mankind could perish at any moment,” Kaji parried, still wearing his smug little smile, “cabbages and flowers become surprisingly important. They give us the strength to keep moving, raising our hopes instead of drowning our sorrows.”

Now Misato had to blush, feeling a little humiliated that she’d been so easily trounced. But then again, that was Kaji’s specialty—talking his way out of trouble and keeping a cool head in a crisis.

Not to mention, a childish little voice whispered in the back of her head, that’s why you’ve always a thing for him...

Oh shut up! Misato retorted, then mentally slapped herself once she realized that she was arguing with a voice in her head. She looked back to Kaji, who answered her defiant pose by putting his hands in his pocket and slouching comfortably.

“Listen,” Misato finally said, “by now you’ve probably seen the report on the condition for our Eva pilots. So far it’s been fine for Shinji and Rei, but I’m worried about Asuka.”

Kaji’s smile dropped, but he didn’t seem any less confident for it. “You want me to have a talk with her?”

“She… trusts you,” Misato admitted, even though it wasn’t hard to see that the girl was actually infatuated with Kaji—something she’d been through herself, earning lots of pain and bad memories with it. “I’m not saying she’ll get over it right away. Based on the results from Ritsuko’s latest test, they might have full control again in about a week, so it might not even matter for much longer, but Commander Ikari isn’t going to allow any of his pilots to get too emotionally compromised. He’ll shove them aside and find their replacements, and I’m not letting that happen.”

“Nor will I,” Kaji said, letting his reassuring smile resurface. “I’ll talk to Asuka once she comes by Nerv Headquarters.”

Misato allowed herself a smile of her own—more guarded than his, though. “I appreciate that, Kaji.” She glanced down at the garden behind him, thought for a moment, and then added, “And I guess your garden isn’t that big a waste. Still won’t feed all of Tokyo-3 by the looks of it.”

Kaji laughed. “Oh, you know me, Misato. I’m too much of a dreamer.” He turned back to pick up his watering can, giving her another friendly wave from over the shoulder. “I’ll see later, all right?”

With a scowl, Misato turned away and trudged back toward Nerv Headquarters. For all his good qualities, Kaji had one bad quality—one among many, to be precise—that had always aggravated her.

He was too smart and confident for his own good, and one day it would get him killed. She was sure of it.

[Kami-bozu]

Hmmm, this is a fairly interesting take on the series. Just one which I hadn't really looked to before. I commend your characterizations, as they are fairly accurate.(as accurate as they can get for a scenario such as this) I look forward to/if Misato (or even Ritsuko) changes Shinji's diaper.

[JDL23]

Hmmm, this is a fairly interesting take on the series. Just one which I hadn't really looked to before. I commend your characterizations, as they are fairly accurate.(as accurate as they can get for a scenario such as this) I look forward to/if Misato (or even Ritsuko) changes Shinji's diaper.

I can promise you that characters getting their diapers changed will occur in this story, although not necessarily between Misato, Ritsuko, and Shinji.

Also, just FYI, this story might be as long as my other ones because I'm writing this to be almost like watching a standalone episode of Evangelion. But a sequel (or other anime fanfic) may yet be in the works...

[JDL23]

Chapter Five

In his mind’s eye, they were sitting across from each other on the train, just like they did in all the other dreams.

Rei looked right at him and asked, “Why are you so afraid?”

“I’m not afraid, I just don’t want to go out there anymore. I want to go home. Is that so wrong? Doesn’t everyone want that?”

“You’re afraid of what you feel. You’re afraid of what the world brings out in you.”

“…I’m not a killer. I can’t stand fighting. Even against the Angels.”

“But if you don’t fight, then you die. And if you die, then what of you will remain?”

“I… I don’t know…”

She lifted up her skirt, revealing the diaper underneath. “This garment was designed to contain human waste, to keep human beings healthy. And when it’s served its purpose, it is replaced with a clean copy.”

She leaned toward him, her eyes boring into his terrified soul. “I, too, can be replaced. It is my nature. I absorb the waste of this conflict and the world around me, but when I have been filled up, when I can take no more, I will be removed and replaced by a clean and identical copy.”

“D-don’t say that, Rei. You’re not replaceable. You’re important! You’re an individual, someone who matters to a lot of people!” The words burned in the back of his throat, but they had to come out. “You matter… to me…”

“It’s not up to us. We all have our roles to fulfill, or else we’ll be thrown away…”

He couldn’t accept what she was saying. Hands came up to grip his hair as he stared in anguish at the floor, while all around them, the train moved right along into the endless, unfeeling sunset—

With a gasp, Shinji woke up. He stared at the now-familiar ceiling of his room and slowly looked around to make sure that nothing was out of place.

But of course, there was something new to deal with—the wet diaper between his legs. Fighting a groan that would wake up his roommates, Shinji sat up and probed around the bedroom for a clean diaper. Then he stood up and crept out into the hallway, diaper in hand, and turned straight toward the bathroom.

However, his route took him past Asuka’s room, and for some reason, her door was just a few centimeters open. Although he felt like a pervert for doing so, Shinji took a quick peek inside.

The window was open in Asuka’s room, letting a beam of moonlight fall over the heavy-sleeping young woman. She was curled up in a fetal position, which pulled away some of the blanket from her bed and inadvertently revealed the bottom of her diaper to Shinji. As soon as he realized what he was looking at, Shinji blushed and turned away, padding straight for the bathroom without hesitation.

As he locked the door and turned on the lights, he knelt down to open the cabinet under the sink. Inside was a bottle of talcum powder, a box of baby wipes, and a tube of lotion, all courtesy of Nerv Medical. By now, it had been almost a whole week since Shinji and the others had started wearing diapers, so changing themselves had become routine.

Still, it wasn’t any less awkward to handle, especially for one so nervous as Shinji. He had to lie down on the bathroom floor, making sure to put a towel under him as he took off the soiled diaper, cleaned himself up, and put on the new one. It was comforting to a small degree, knowing that he was at least managing this strange condition with hope that Dr. Akagi’s exercises would ultimately work.

Sitting there on the floor, Shinji gave the front of his diaper a prod, finding that the thick padding had an interesting feel against his genitals. But that thought was soon met with a surge of shame, bringing up a memory of Asuka’s willful protest: Diapers are for babies and little kids!

But I’m not a little kid, Shinji thought reflexively, a-and… and neither are you, Asuka…

He pictured her again, lying with her back to him, and her diaper facing him. He didn’t want to go any farther, but all he could picture was her in a shirt and a diaper, or being changed by Misato, or wearing nothing but a diaper as she looked across the room—

—As she looked across the room at him with lust in her eyes and said, “We’re just kids, Shinji. We can still have some fun together. What do you say…?”

Shinji was gasping by the time this mental fantasy was through and he soon realized that his hand had traveled down into the front of his diaper, rubbing himself furiously to the point of climax. Horrified, he took out his hand and saw the ejaculate that covered it.

And all he could think to say was, “I’m so fucked up.”

[JDL23]

Chapter Six

“We’re honored to have you as our guest!” said the Horaki sisters, all bowing to Asuka as she crossed the threshold. There were three of them, standing from oldest to youngest: Kodama, Hikari, and Nozomi. All brunette and cheerful—and judging by the interior of the house, far more neat and orderly than Misato could ever hope to be.

Asuka gave an awkward bow of her own. She tried to protest when Kodama took her overnight bag—which contained three diapers in a discreet side pocket—but the older woman didn’t so much bat an eye. She rattled something off about Japanese hospitality, of which there seemed to be no short supply in this household. The next thing Asuka knew, Nozomi was enthusiastically bouncing around her, asking questions about life in Germany and working with the Eva, while Hikari apologized on her sibling’s behalf.

“Hope you like miso,” said Hikari as she led Asuka over to the dining room table, where four bowls of steaming soup were laid out. “We also have tonkatsu with white rice and vegetable tempura, a bit of tsukemono, and for dessert, homemade dango!”

“Uh, sounds great!” Asuka replied. Even as she sat down and shared smiles with the rest of the Horaki girls, her anxiety was only growing worse. Every shift in her seat made her think that she was only a few seconds away from her diaper being exposed for ridicule.

But it helped to think of Kaji and the conversation they’d had a few days ago. He’d sat down next to her on a bench somewhere at Nerv Headquarters, giving that familiar smile and patting her shoulder. Try to think of it as a plug suit. It may not be flattering, but you can’t do much without it. And no one has to know about it, just like how no one outside your Eva can see you in your plug suit.

His advice wasn’t all that different from what Misato and Dr. Akagi had already told her, but it was more reassuring to hear him say it. Asuka saw him as a mentor—not exactly as a father, but an older brother or an uncle.

And maybe as something more, she thought with an inward grin, but considering that she was having dinner with company, she couldn’t follow through on those thoughts like she wanted to. So Asuka put up with the charade, smiling and thanking the girls for sharing their food, and the more she played along, the easier she found it to actually enjoy herself in a way she hadn’t done since leaving Germany.

But I won’t give Shinji or Misato the satisfaction of knowing that, she promised herself. This happiness is mine and mine alone…

---

Hours later, once Kodama had retired for the night and Nozomi was tucked in, Hikari and Asuka had the house all to themselves. While Hikari went to change her clothes in the bathroom, Asuka sat on the big futon in the middle of her friend’s bedroom, staring in concern at her overnight bag and that ominous side pouch.

Three diapers. One for bed, one for when she got up, and one added as a precaution—like if Asuka needed to change and Misato was late picking her up. But of course that would happen, considering how reckless her guardian could be. She prayed that that idiot Shinji would at least try to keep her from getting too hungover by the next morning.

Taking a glance out into the hall and toward the bathroom, Asuka quickly assessed the situation. It sounded like Hikari was still washing up, so if she was really fast, she could put on a clean diaper before her current one got wetter. At this rate, it was threatening to leak.

And there’s no way I’m letting that happen in front of my peers, she vowed, or my name’s not Asuka Langley Soryu!

She unzipped the side panel and quickly took out some baby wipes and a clean diaper, giving it a cursory scowl—one that soon gave way to panic as soon as she heard Hikari say, “Oh, Asuka! I’m sorry, I…”

Very slowly, Asuka turned around. Hikari stood in the doorway, wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sleep shorts, blushing more deeply than Asuka had ever seen before. She tried not to look at the diaper or the baby wipes, averting her gaze as far as she could.

Asuka found that she, too, was blushing. She set down the diaper, grimacing at the loud crinkle it made when it touched the floor. “Hikari… you startled me…”

The silence that followed was pure agony—and considering all the torment she’d gone through at the hands of the Angels, that was saying something. Asuka wanted to cry tears of shame and run away as fast as she could, but as with Misato, that was impossible. She could only sit there, embarrassed and ashamed beyond belief.

And then she heard Hikari say, slowly, “Do… do you need any… help?”

“What?” Sniffling a little, Asuka wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “What’d you say?”

“I, uh, was just wondering if…” Hikari shifted on her toes, blushing and trying to smile. “If you wanted some help. You see, I have some experience with… well, Nozomi used to have a bedwetting problem, too, so I had to help her and… well, I could help you if you wanted…”

Asuka was stunned. She’d never been in this kind of a position before. She could handle authoritative types or people who were being dumb, but this kind of consideration was different—even a little touching.

Finally, she said, “Okay.”

It felt a bit like when Misato first diapered her, but without the strong confidence of her roommate. As Asuka pulled down her shorts and revealed her wet diaper, Hikari quietly took the clean diaper and helped Asuka lie down on the futon. They shared an awkward grimace as Hikari removed the wet diaper—exposing her friend’s lower regions—and did her best to clean up with wipes and a sprinkling of powder. Asuka could only glance at the other girl for a few seconds at a time, thinking that so long as they said or did as little as possible, then this wouldn’t be all that big a deal.

However, once Hikari got the new diaper out and started to put it on, Asuka felt a strange sensation in her stomach. It felt like anxiety, but it wasn’t as bad. It wasn’t the jitters of an imminent Angel battle, but rather a connection—two bodies in contact, with affection running between them.

This sensation brought on an unexpected mental image: her mother, smiling at her—not at the doll, at the false-Asuka—but at her, and her arms were reaching out to hold her and it was wonderful, and of course she’d always be there for Asuka, of course she was proud of her, and it was so beautiful that Asuka started crying in the middle of it all—

Blinking, Asuka dropped out of her sudden fantasy, realizing that she was still crying, but lying on the futon in front of a concerned Hikari. She rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand and sat up, not minding for once the crinkle of her diaper as she moved.

“I’m fine, really,” she said, though her heart wasn’t in it. “You don’t have to worry about me, Hikari. I can take care of… myself…”

“It’s hard to handle, isn’t it?” Asuka looked into the other girl’s face, seeing sympathy there. “Nozomi was like this when she started wetting the bed, too. It’s okay, Asuka. I won’t tell anyone. I think this is just a phase that’ll pass.”

“Thanks.” A moment passed while she wrestled with her emotions and then added, “You’ve… been a very good friend, Hikari. I wanted to let you know that.”

Hikari smiled and suddenly Asuka was receiving a short but sisterly hug from her. She returned the hug and once they let go, it was a simple matter of turning out the lights and getting under the covers of the futon.

But for a long time, Asuka couldn’t get to sleep. She kept thinking about that vision of her mother that had never happened, that dream mother. The last time she’d thought of her was when she’d had the accident at Misato’s place, yet for some reason, Asuka had stayed dry this time. She didn’t know what any of it meant, but she sure didn’t like it.

“Are you asleep?” Hikari asked.

Asuka shifted over and frowned. “I’m tired, but I can’t fall asleep. I don’t know why.”

She was surprised when Hikari, instead of saying anything more, scooted over and gave Asuka another hug from behind. It made the other girl stiffen up at first—she wasn’t used to so many hugs—but there was something reassuring in her presence, something that she couldn’t take for granted like Misato or that stupid Shinji or that irritable Rei.

So Asuka turned around and hugged Hikari back, grateful to have someone who was supportive, even though she couldn’t possibly understand what Asuka had been through. She didn’t even mind when Hikari’s hand brushed against the back of her diaper—not in a bad way, but just as comforting as before. Asuka tried to remember that this was just a sign of that “romantic friendship” that went on between Japanese schoolgirls. But then, she was part-Japanese herself, so she decided it wasn’t all that big a deal.

And with that, snuggled up against Hikari, Asuka finally fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

[Bonsai]

Again, well done. This is interesting and I'm surely wishing to read more.
The only main thing that is missing is... the feeling of Summer. In the series cicadas were always crying and there was that hot feeling of people with light dressing.

[JDL23]

The only main thing that is missing is... the feeling of Summer. In the series cicadas were always crying and there was that hot feeling of people with light dressing.

Yeah, well, I haven't set a whole lot of the story directly outside. Of course, I'm still working on the story, so it's not out of the question that cicadas might not make an appearance down the line...

Stay tuned and thanks for the comments!

[JDL23]

Hope you all had a great Fourth of July! I'll just continue to celebrate with a new chapter!

---

Chapter Seven

“Unit-02 sync ratio at fifty-seven-point-nine percent,” Lieutenant Ibuki reported.

Ritsuko looked at the readout over the lieutenant’s shoulder. It had been a week and a half since they’d started the rehabilitation process and thus far everything seemed to be checking out. To varying degrees, the children had come to terms with the need to wear protective undergarments and it was starting to show in the tests. On average, their sync ratios had gone up by about five percentage points.

“Vital signs?” the doctor asked, looking over at Hyuga.

“Average blood pressure is one-twenty over eighty. Respiratory and heart rates are inside the normal range.”

With a nod, Ritsuko turned on the microphone. “Asuka, any complaints so far?”

“None whatsoever, ma’am!” the pilot of Unit-02 responded. “I feel just fine!”

Since she knew the pilot couldn’t see it, Ritsuko couldn’t help but smirk. It seemed as if yesterday the girl was loudly protesting that she didn’t need diapers. Now she seemed to have turned about-face, ready to cooperate with Nerv Medical on even the smallest detail.

“Shinji, how about you?” Ritsuko continued.

His response wasn’t as strong as Asuka’s, but still fairly confident: “I’m all right, ma’am. No problems here.”

“Good. Rei?”

“I’m well,” the last pilot reported, and that was all.

Ritsuko looked around for the cup of coffee she’d brought in earlier, but said over her shoulder at Hyuga, “Keep an eye on their vitals. We still have another half-hour to go.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

---

Inside the cockpit of Unit-01, Shinji closed his eyes. At this point, he’d come to think of the diaper as just another part of his plug suit—and considering that Asuka wasn’t quite so angry all the time, it seemed safe to say that she’d done the same.

Beyond their unusual choice of underwear, something felt different about the latest round of synchronization tests. It felt as though there was something alive about the Evas, like they had an organic component. But of course they didn’t. Shinji knew they were just robots like Misato and Dr. Akagi had told him.

But even as he told himself that, Shinji felt a kind of comfortable presence sitting with him in the Eva. It was like—well, he wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but he knew it was a good feeling. Familiar, even.

Leaning back in his seat, Shinji closed his eyes and smiled. An image rose up in his mind, seeing from his point of view as a pair of giant white arms came down to lift him up into the sky—not the terrifying, unnatural limbs of an Angel, but the arms of a lovely smiling woman with dark hair…

“Shinji…” said the woman, cradling him—now in the body of a child, wearing a bib and a diaper—and nuzzling him fondly. “Don’t be afraid, Shinji. You’re never alone here. Together we’ll make this a better world, one step at a time. I’ve never left you, child…”

With a whimper, Shinji felt himself curling up into a ball. He wanted those arms around him, preferring them to the pain of the real world. Why did the real world have to hurt so much? Why couldn’t he have his mother and father? Why couldn’t he just enjoy life like everyone else? And why did he have to suffer so much in order to save the world?

In the end, it all boiled down to the same question: Why can’t I just run away?

But in the dark stillness of the cockpit, with the imaginary maternal arms enfolding him, Shinji knew what the answer to that question was—

I’m Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Unit-01. If I don’t fight, who has to suffer instead?

---

Inside the cockpit of Unit-02, Asuka sat tall and unbowed. She knew that her sync ratio was beating out Shinji and Rei each time they tested. But of course it would. Unlike that stupid Shinji, she was a trained Eva pilot, and unlike that insufferable Rei, she didn’t just have dedication, but passion. There was no challenge that the fire in her heart wouldn’t surpass, be it as grand as fighting the Angels or as mundane as wearing diapers.

Still, despite the focus she needed for the Eva synchronization, Asuka couldn’t help but think of all the people who’d helped her with accepting her incontinence: Misato, Kaji, Hikari… even Shinji and Rei. Of course, in their case, it was only their example that she had to surpass. If they could accept it, then she’d embrace it. If they could overcome it, then she’d crush it into dust and then stomp that dust into oblivion.

With that comforting thought in her head, Asuka refocused on the synchronization. She smiled and closed her eyes, letting her mind align with the internal presence of the Eva, with what a more philosophical person might call its soul…

…And then she found herself running down the corridor of the hospital, but she wasn’t a teenager this time. Now she was just a little girl, wearing a summer dress with a diaper sticking out from the bottom of her skirt.

“Mama, Mama!” the young Asuka exclaimed. “I’m a pilot, I’m a pilot now! Aren’t you glad to hear that, Mama?”

And for once, when she came running into the hospital room, she didn’t see that doll with the rope around its neck. She didn’t see her mother’s cold body swinging silently.

It was really her this time, sitting up in bed, looking straight at her with familiarity and the doll nowhere to be seen. She held out her arms as Asuka took a flying leap toward her, crashing into her mother as they laughed together in joy.

“Of course I’m glad, my dear,” said her mother, giving her a pat on her diapered bottom. “You know I never doubted for you a moment. And don’t you worry about what comes next. Even when you can’t see me, I’ll always be with you, sweetheart, always…”

Asuka opened her eyes, realizing that—for possibly the third time in less than a week—she was crying again. But it wasn’t out of shame or bad memories that she cried. She felt different this time. Like she’d found a part of her that she didn’t even know had been missing.

“Mama,” she whispered, even though she was alone in the dark cockpit. But somehow, it was enough. She knew that, in spite of all the pain and the memories, in spite of all the years, her real mother was sitting right next to her, helping her move forward.

I can never forget, Asuka told herself. No matter my past, no matter my future, I’m an Eva pilot and I don’t know the meaning of the word “defeat.” Angels, idiots, and diapers: do your worst! I’ll beat you all!

---

Inside the cockpit of Unit-00, Rei felt nothing out of the ordinary. She could sense that the tests were going well, which would probably please Commander Ikari. Beyond that, she wasn’t too concerned about her fellow pilots.

Except for Shinji—he did seem to have the most trouble adjusting to his role as a pilot, with this latest trouble over the diapers being one more trauma he had to bear. For Rei, it was nothing to even think about. She’d been told to wear them and she did just that. She was told to change herself regularly and she did without hesitation.

When it came to fighting the Angels, she could give nothing less than total commitment.

And yet, she found herself thinking, I can’t recall being a child. I had Commander Ikari, but I’ve never had a mother like Shinji or Asuka did…

She wondered for a moment what it would be like, having a mother to hold her, being a child or an infant in diapers, being held and told that she was loved.

It made Rei think of the battle with Ramiel, the Fifth Angel, when she’d taken the worst of the blasts in order to give Unit-01 a clear shot at destroying it. She’d been severely injured and ready to wait it out until Nerv personnel came to get her out… yet Shinji had come running, forcing the door to her entry plug open just like his father had done before, desperate to know that she was okay.

They’d shared a smile then. Even in private, Rei found little reason to smile, but for that one moment…

Here in the familiar darkness of the Eva cockpit, she supposed it was the closest she’d ever felt to having anything like a loving mother.

---

Ibuki looked down at the monitor in disbelief. “Uh, ma’am? You should really see this for yourself…”

Ritsuko stepped over to her, and as soon as she saw the results, her eyes went wide. “My, that is impressive. An average ratio of seventy-six percent… and rising…”

She looked up to stare out the control booth window at the three Evangelion units, as if she could somehow see through their shells and watch the pilots inside. She wasn’t too sure where this increase in synchronization had come from, but she couldn’t be more pleased with it.

And to think, Ritsuko mused with a wry smile, that Misato was so pessimistic about them having to wear diapers…

[JDL23]

Chapter Eight

“All three pilots present and accounted for!” Hyuga reported.

Misato acknowledged with a nod and turned back toward the central display inside the tactical command center of Nerv Headquarters. Everyone was moving quickly as reports of an incoming Angel kept arriving, its trajectory estimated to be twenty miles southeast of Tokyo-3 by sea.

“Commander, JDSSF has a visual on the target,” Ibuki reported.

“On screen,” Misato ordered, crossing her arms.

The screen changed from a grid map of Tokyo-3 to a real-time view of the Pacific Ocean. Flying overhead was a massive and hideous beast—a giant Angel with two asymmetrical heads and bat-like wings that seemed to dwarf the body. And in the center of its chest, clutched by bone-white talons, was the ruby-red core, the Angel’s ultimate weak spot.

“So this is the latest threat,” said a voice from behind. Misato looked over her shoulder to see a gray-haired man in a somber Nerv uniform. Vice Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki regarded her with a polite nod and refocused his attention on the tactical display. “By our estimate, this Angel would be… Thamiel.”

“I don’t need to know its name,” Misato replied, trying not to snap at her superior, “just what it’ll take to kill it.”

---

Shinji skidded to a stop behind the other two pilots as they entered the Eva prep center. He ducked into the men’s changing area and started getting out of his school clothes and into his plug suit. Of course, he had the slightest hesitation about whether or not he ought to change his diaper before the start of the mission.

Right on cue, though, he heard Asuka shout from beyond the curtain dividing the room, “What are you, stupid?! There’s no time for that! Man up and get dressed already!”

“Right!” Shinji responded. He frowned and pushed all thoughts about diapers out of his mind. A few seconds later, he’d gotten the plug suit on and triggered the wrist control for a perfect fit. Granted, it felt a little more padded around the crotch than he was used to, but it would have to do.

The curtain was pulled aside, revealing Asuka in her red suit and Rei in her white suit. Like Shinji, they both had the same slight bulge around the waist, but neither of the girls seemed the least bit concerned. In fact, Asuka even seemed to be smiling a little—

“Are you just gonna stand there and gawk all day?” she snapped, breaking Shinji out of his reverie. “Or are you going to get moving? We’ve got a battle to fight, dummkopf!”

Shinji blushed, then put on his best Serious Pilot expression. “Right, let’s go!”

---

Back in the command center, Misato watched the screen as a row of tanks and missile launchers were being moved into position along the nearest mountain range. Just miles away but in view was the Angel, its giant leathery wings flapping loudly and stirring up everything beneath it.

“Mobile artillery is in place and ready to fire!” a JDSSF officer announced.

“All units, fire!” said the General in charge of the operation.

The screen changed perspective, showing consecutive bursts of flame and smoke as over three dozen missiles and tank shots went arcing through the air over the city. From where she stood, Misato noticed the faintest shimmer in front of the Angel just before the missiles struck.

“AT field deployed!” Lieutenant Ibuki reported. And sure enough, as Misato stared at the screen, the smoke and fire cleared just enough for the Angel to be seen. It was flying along as though the missiles hadn’t even been there, showing not one hint of damage.

“Target is still active!” one of the JDSSF officers could be heard shouting over the radio. “All units reload and prepare for—!”

A low droning howl suddenly cut through the radio, followed by the sight of the Angel’s twin heads opening their mouths and screaming. Twin shockwaves of sonic energy came rippling out, devastating every building and landmark in their path. The shockwaves soon engulfed the military’s arsenal, reducing the tanks and missile launchers to shrapnel in a matter of seconds.

While Misato took in the wreckage, Ritsuko came running up from behind with a clipboard in hand. She stopped behind Lieutenant Shigeru Aoba and asked, “Was there any reading on that counterattack?”

“It’s a purely sonic attack, ma’am,” the lieutenant reported, “but on a magnitude like I’ve never seen before. If the reports are correct, it’s as powerful as the energy blasts we’ve seen from the Third and Fifth Angels.”

“Are the Evas ready to launch?” Misato asked, turning to Ibuki.

“The pilots are secured and ready to go!”

The Major turned to Ritsuko, exchanging a brief look of concern. The doctor gave her a quick nod as if to say, Well, they’ll just have to beat it or else we’re done for.

Misato turned back to the central display and let out a quick sigh to steady herself.

“Eva Units, launch!”

---

Asuka leaned back into her chair inside the Eva cockpit as the restraints snapped back and the launch shaft above her dilated. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and felt her abdomen tingle as she wet the diaper underneath her plug suit one more time.

No shame, no fear, only victory, she told herself. One more dead Angel for the pile!

Then she heard Misato say over the intercom, “Eva Units, launch!”

The launching mechanism hummed to life and Asuka let out a cheer as she felt Unit-02 being thrown up the shaft and toward the blinding sunlight of Tokyo-3. She knew that Unit-00 and Unit-01 were also in launch, although her companions were staying quiet. But what was the point? They were off to yet another glorious battle!

In a dramatic whoosh, the three Evas rocketed up through the launch shafts and out into the open air. They dropped feet first onto the streets, legs spread wide and arms grabbing onto the battle rifles that Nerv had just sent up through the shafts. Asuka decided to keep one hand on the rifle while getting her progressive knife ready. Long-range assaults were all well and good, but experience had shown that the best way to kill an Angel was to drive a prog knife right through its heart.

“Asuka, hold off on the knife,” Misato advised over the command center channel. “It’ll do you no good unless you’re close enough to hit it.”

“I know that,” Asuka replied sharply, “but I’d rather have it ready now than get stuck looking for it when I need it most.”

“Suit yourself. Eva Units, the target is coming up from the northeast. Stay sharp and good luck!”

In unison, the three Evas turned north and began sprinting toward the bat-like Angel that was hovering in place over the harbor. Asuka was a bit surprised when Unit-02 took a few steps back from the fierce winds being generated by the Angel’s wings, but she grit her teeth and willed her Eva forward, step by agonizing step.

“I can get it from below!” Shinji called out. At the same time, Unit-01 knelt down and aimed its rifle up at the Angel’s core. Likewise, Unit-00 was getting onto higher ground and aiming down, which left Asuka with a clear shot for the middle.

I wouldn’t have it any other way, Asuka thought with a grin.

“Now!” she screamed, and they all opened fire. Three cascades of gunfire poured down on the Angel, which couldn’t keep flapping and began to fly about, putting up an AT field in short, random bursts that seemed to keep it from getting hit.

“It’s coming around,” Rei reported in her characteristic unflappable tone. “It’s priming another sonic attack.”

“Brace for impact!” Misato called out, but the Eva pilots were already in the middle of raising their arms up against the Angel as its two heads swiveled in their direction.

Then both of its mouths opened and everything went black.

[JDL23]

I'll be on vacation a week from next Monday, so I might not be able to post a new chapter by then. Just FYI!

---

Chapter Nine

Shinji floated in the void, naked except for the diaper around his waist, which was wet and sagging. He couldn’t move in any direction. All he could do was hang silently in eternal night, alone with his thoughts.

What is this place? he asked. Why does it feel so familiar, yet so alien? What happened to Asuka and Rei, to Misato and all the others? And why couldn’t we stop… couldn’t stop the… Angel…

Just thinking that word sent a powerful shock through his body, as he remembered the fight and everything that came before it. His last sight had been the Angel’s twin heads unleashing a primal scream—and then nothing.

In the end, we’re just useless, Shinji continued. No one cares. Nothing matters. We’re just like dolls hanging from the ceiling, dead to the world—

He stopped, letting amazement creep over him. Hey, wait a minute. Where did that image come from?

Slowly, Shinji discovered that he could move his arms and legs. He pushed upward and his body seemed to swim higher into the void. And as he moved, he thought he glimpsed a small white female body in the distance and heard the whisper of a familiar voice.

…just a stupid doll, said the voice. That’s all we are and all we’ll ever be… der Mensch kann nicht mit den Engeln zu vergleichen… jeder wird bald tot sein…

“Asuka!” Shinji called out. He swam toward the distant white speck. “Hey, Asuka!”

The redheaded pilot turned to him without releasing herself from her fetal position. She was also clad in just a wet diaper. “What do you want, idiot? Can’t you see we’re dead? There was no way we could beat that thing!”

“I… I can’t believe that! I won’t believe that!”

“Reality doesn’t care if you believe in it or not!” Asuka shot back. She looked away with a grimace. “Just go away. Let me have the rest of eternity to myself.”

Shinji looked down at her in disbelief. Why was she so upset? Didn’t she feel her body the way he was feeling his own?

As he considered that, he heard another voice in the distance. It was familiar, like he was hearing his mother’s voice, but he knew it couldn’t be. It was much too young.

…so I lost, said the voice. It doesn’t matter anymore. Either Commander Ikari will find a solution or else all is lost. I’ve done my part, such as it was…

“Rei!” Shinji called out, swimming blindly for her, hearing her voice nearby but without any sight of her. “Rei, where are you?”

“God, stop being such an idiot!” Asuka exclaimed. She finally extended her whole body, jabbing a finger at him like she didn’t even notice the diaper she was wearing. “We lost! Stop being so obsessed! You can’t do anything like this. It’s better this way, anyway! Better…” Her voice faltered as her eyes went hard with pain. “Better for us… reunited with… with…”

She put her face into her hands and sobbed. “To be reunited with our loved ones! Mein Gott, Mama! Ich liebe dich, Mama! Why won’t you answer me?”

The sound of her breaking down nearly caused Shinji to do the same. It seemed so easy to do it, letting the horror sink in, accepting defeat and shame…

And yet, there was something about this place—even if it was the afterlife—that made him feel at home. Something like…

Like my mother’s arms, Shinji realized. I’ve felt this before… inside the Eva…

“She’s here,” he said breathlessly. “She was in here all along…”

“Who?” asked Asuka.

“Mother.”

Asuka glared as if ready to challenge him, but her face softened and her fists unclenched. She suddenly didn’t look like a strong Eva pilot—more like a lost little girl.

“But how can she be here?” she asked. “How?”

“I don’t know! I just feel it!”

And as he spoke, Shinji pictured those warm, comforting arms drawing around him once more. He heard her voice—not in words, but a soothing murmur that filled him to the core of his being. He remembered what he had told himself the last time he heard that voice and felt those arms encircling him.

I’m Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Unit-01. If I don’t fight, who has to suffer instead?

A smile flashed across Shinji’s face. He looked over at Asuka, somehow knowing that she’d reached the same conclusion. It must have been the change in her expression. She wasn’t crying or glaring anymore. She looked resolute, wearing that kind of angry smile that usually signified something—or someone—was about to get seriously hurt.

“I get it now,” said Asuka, lifting a fist toward her face in a show of determination. “She was with me all along. It’s no wonder I’ve felt so comfortable piloting the Eva—because it’s where my mother—my soul—really was!”

And the Eva, thought Shinji, had an AT field, the same as the Angels. He tried to recall what Dr. Akagi had said about those fields… something about the projection of will onto reality. It was how an Angel could survive a straight-up nuclear attack or take the most savage beating from an Eva Unit. It was discipline and courage in their most tangible form—

In fact, Shinji realized, giving a significant glance down at his diaper, it’s kinda a lot like being toilet trained…

Learning to control one’s body and relieve one’s needs was arduous, but not impossible. It made biology subservient to the human will, made the elimination of waste something for humans to overcome.

“There is no shame,” Asuka was saying, her voice temporarily breaking Shinji out of his thoughts. “No shame, only victory…”

He reached out and she took his hand. Together, wearing nothing but their diapers and their confidence, the two pilots swam upward through the void.

---

Inside the command center at Nerv Headquarters, things were looking bleak.

Misato and Ritsuko stood side-by-side, gazing at the approach of the Angel as it passed over the three prone Evas. Misato in particular felt a morbid curiosity as to why the Angel didn’t try to finish off the Evas like all the others had. For now, it seemed content with their neutralization and was slowly flying toward Nerv, sending up gusts of wind by its flapping wings that sent tremors across the city.

“What happened to the pilots?” Ritsuko demanded, frowning at the main display.

“We’ve got total loss of Eva synchronization,” Lieutenant Ibuki reported. “All three pilots appear to have gone into a comatose state. Eva battery power is also falling.”

“This is like the Twelfth Angel attack all over again,” Misato commented. She turned to Ritsuko with arms crossed over her chest. “Do what you can to reestablish contact with them or their Evas. I’ll give the order for an evacuation if that Angel gets anywhere near breaching our defenses.”

Ritsuko nodded, but as she turned back toward the central display, her eyes went wide. “What in the world—?”

Everyone turned to see something rise up from behind the approaching bat-like Angel: a long violet shell with green trim.

It was the arm of Unit-01, rising up defiantly.

“Unit-01 is regaining contact!” Lieutenant Aoba reported, gripping his console intently. “Mental contamination is beginning to drop!”

“I’ve got vitals returning to normal levels!” Lieutenant Hyuga added.

Misato and Ritsuko shared a quick, surprised look before turning back to the main screen.

All right, guys, thought Misato, don’t let us down just yet!

[JDL23]

Chapter Ten

With a howl, Shinji pulled himself through the void. Without sacrificing his momentum, he thrust out his hand toward Rei, who grabbed at it right away, although she didn’t lose the placid expression on her face. With Asuka gripping Shinji’s other hand, the three of them went racing through the darkness toward a tiny pinprick of light, a flare that hung at the end of a tunnel—

And then Shinji was slammed back into the cockpit of his Eva, coughing up blood as his eyes flew open. He realized that the LCL pressure inside had dropped, but his controls and monitors were still active.

“All right!” he heard Asuka exclaim over the Eva’s communicator. “Let’s get back into the fight!” There—on monitor three, he saw Unit-02 lumber to its feet and go charging after the Angel, which was now hovering in place over Nerv.

“Take this!” Rei called out. Shinji forced Unit-01 to its feet just in time to see Unit-00 holding up a pair of battle rifles. He caught the weapon she was tossing his way and spun around, cocking the rifle for its first shot.

The two Eva units sprinted down the streets of Tokyo, leaping over low-topped buildings and houses as they ran right up to the furious melee taking place between Unit-02 and the Angel. At the moment, Asuka had managed to leap onto its back, gripping it by the back of one of its heads and trying to wrestle it to the ground. However, the creature’s wings were still strong enough to nearly dislodge the Eva, though Asuka held on valiantly.

“Ich werde dich töten!” she was screaming. “Verdammt scheisse—bleiben Sie!” And in response, the Angel let loose another death-curdling howl, but its sonic waves went wide and missed most of the surrounding city.

“Rei!” Shinji called out. “Aim high! I’ll take low!”

“Right!”

In a unison that Shinji hadn’t expected, the two Evas diverged at once. Unit-00 made a running leap toward the Angel’s right while Unit-01 executed a low somersault and came up on its backside, jamming the rifle right into the beast’s core. Then Unit-00 put its own rifle into the core, letting out a subterranean growl that almost seemed to match the howls being made by the struggling Angel.

“Now!” the three Eva pilots shouted at the same time. Shinji and Rei shot round after round into the Angel’s core, denting it severely with each blast, but showing no signs of cracking. The Angel thrashed around all the more, but Asuka held it down through another string of violent German curses.

“Not… working!” Shinji panted, feeling physically and mentally drained. He tossed aside the now-overheated and empty rifle. “Asuka, Rei—go for the progressive knife!”

All three Eva units reached around to pull out their forearm-long knives, which activated in a shrill whine. Asuka roared something incomprehensible as she stabbed her knife first into the Angel’s core, piercing through and holding the creature in place. The beast let out another howl, but no sonic waves came with it this time.

Shinji felt himself go tight all over. He felt like an extension of the Eva, a cog in the machine. Invincible. Immortal. Completely unconcerned about having just peed a little into his already full diaper.

With a primal yell, Shinji stabbed his knife into the Angel’s core. Rei did the same, but without the yell, though her strike was no less fierce. Rhythmically, their blades rose and fell, eliciting more shrieks of rage and agony from the Angel as they pounded at the core, as waves of terror flowed through the Eva pilots and beyond them, unable to pull them back into that miserable psychic void—

Finally, something inside the Angel broke. The core became a fountain of pure red fluid that shot straight up into the air, drenching all three Evas and the ruined street in which they stood. The Angel’s twin heads let out one final howl, sending debris and chunks of building up into the air, as the body was consumed from within by its own deadly fire.

Shinji was panting, sweating, and hunched over the controls of his Eva as he watched the Angel go to pieces. He felt like he should be laughing in triumph or talking to Misato, if only just to hear her voice—whatever it was that victors did in the immediate aftermath.

Instead, he closed his eyes and passed out.

[JDL23]

Chapter Eleven

Shinji awoke, feeling warm, wet, and worn down to the bone. He needed a moment before he recognized the familiar white ceiling of a hospital room. As he groaned and shifted around in bed, he became aware of other sensations: the half-open window that let in a warm summer breeze, the familiar chirping of cicadas, and the thick, sagging diaper between his legs.

We won, Shinji thought. He suddenly remembered the fight and the desperate battle against the Angel. If he thought long enough, he could almost remember the sensation of drowning, feeling naked under the Angel’s psychic attack, and seeing Rei and Asuka in the same way—

“Rei…” Shinji croaked, coughing to clear his throat. “Asuka?”

“They’re in separate rooms,” said a familiar voice. Shinji turned his head and saw Misato sitting on a chair next to his bed, back in her civilian clothes and smiling tenderly. “They regained consciousness about an hour ago. It’s been seven hours since the battle ended, if you want to know.”

Seven hours? Shinji could remember when he’d been out for days after the first battle with an Angel. It seemed like his recovery time was improving. He supposed he should be feeling great about the lives they’d saved, but instead, he felt terrible and he didn’t know why. Even in the midst of that psychic field, when he’d felt miserable and seen how miserable the other Eva pilots were, they’d found a way to break free. They’d found a connection to the Eva that they’d never known before, and with that bond, they’d triumphed against all odds.

So why did Shinji still feel rotten?

“Are you all right?”

He turned, seeing Misato’s worried expression, and smiled nervously. “It’s nothing. I’m all right now.”

Her expression only darkened. “Don’t lie to me, Shinji. You can talk to me about what happened. It’s my job to take care of you, remember?”

“I know, Misato. It’s just…” Suddenly his tongue felt as heavy as the thoughts running through his mind. Was this something to do with the Angel, like that last psychic attack that had triggered their incontinence? But thinking of that made Shinji more anxious and it was then he realized that he was starting to wet his already-soaked diaper.

He tried to put his hand down, but Misato caught him by the wrist. “Do you need to be changed?”

Shinji couldn’t look her in the eyes, but nodded.

“Stay right there,” she said.

Peeking, he watched as Misato walked over to a cabinet on the other side of the room and started to rummage through it. At first he thought she was going to look for a nurse, but then she came back with a clean diaper and the usual supplies for changing.

“Y-you don’t have to do this,” Shinji stammered, almost shrinking away as Misato pulled the sheets off. “Really, Misato, I’m sure the nurses can—”

“I know they can handle it, Shinji.” Misato looked him in the eye, giving him the same determined expression she once used when she convinced him to become an Eva pilot. “But they can’t do anything for what’s wrong in here.” To emphasize her point, she put her hand over his chest, tapping a finger right over his heart. Her touch made Shinji feel even more nervous… and yet, strangely comforting.

“Lie back,” she said, picking up the baby wipes. Shinji let his head drop onto the pillow and watched as Misato quickly undid the tapes on his diaper. They both crinkled their noses at the odor, but Misato wrapped the soiled garment into a ball and chucked it into the nearest wastebasket.

Shinji breathed deeply and tried to relax, but the moment Misato started to use the wipes, he began to get aroused. He blushed as he hardened underneath her touch, but grew more startled when he saw the thoughtful expression on her face. They’d been intimate to a small degree as roommates, but nothing like this.

“Just… try to relax,” Misato advised. She stopped cleaning and waited for him to soften before she continued. Fortunately, Shinji was able to keep up his control as she sprinkled powder onto him, and that perverted feeling didn’t come back. In fact, it felt more like… being in the cockpit of Unit-01…

—Feeling those arms around him—

“During the battle?” Shinji said hesitantly. He waited until Misato stopped to look at him before continuing. “We… we felt something. Something inside the Evas. It… it was like we… were coming home…”

“Like your mother?” Misato said quietly.

Shinji stared at her in silence. He had no answer for that. All he could do was lie there as she nodded to herself and slid the fresh diaper under him. He didn’t get erect as she taped the diaper onto him, but felt something different. It was that motherly warmth he’d felt before, the same feeling that Asuka had described. As if their mothers had come out from beyond the grave to be there for their children one more time…

“Shinji,” Misato whispered. She had finished putting on the diaper and making sure it fit. Now he saw that she was sitting on the bed by his hip. Slowly—like she was getting used to the idea—she spread her arms out and beckoned to him.

“Come here, child,” she said breathily.

Tears formed at the corner of his eyes. Shinji gasped and sat upright, hurling himself into her embrace. He buried his head against her breasts and sobbed.

“Oh God… Misato…” Shinji moaned, his voice muffled. “I miss her so much!”

“I know, baby, I know.” He felt her hands stroking his hair and sliding down under his shirt to rub his back.

They stayed that way for a long time, as Shinji cried himself out and Misato held him fiercely, with only the cicadas and the summer wind for company.

---

Inside a secure room at Central Dogma, Fuyutsuki stood next to Gendo Ikari as they watched the bank of monitors. Each monitor had a feed from a security camera inside the hospital that Nerv used for its injured personnel. Three of the most prominent screens showed the three Eva pilots, all undergoing the same treatment: having their disposable underwear changed.

On Monitor Two, it was Major Katsuragi who was taking care of the Third Child; on Monitor Three, it was Kaji Ryoji taking care of the Second Child; and on Monitor One, it was Dr. Akagi taking care of the First Child.

Naturally, Gendo was intently watching Monitor One. Fuyutsuki understood what kind of connection there was between the Commander of Nerv and the pilot of Unit-00, even if he had some reservations about it. But those reservations were minor compared to what she was capable of and what her existence meant for the fate of humanity.

“She seems to have recovered faster than we expected,” he risked saying out loud.

Gendo scowled at the monitor, keeping his hands clasped behind his back. “But she still carries contamination. Better to have her erased and a new body brought up.”

“If you’re referring to her”—Fuyutsuki coughed politely—“urinary condition, I’m told that’ll clear up soon.”

As he spoke, he noticed how Ritsuko Akagi was taking care of Rei. The doctor had just put a clean diaper on the First Child and appeared to having a quiet moment with the girl. Looking a little more closely, Fuyutsuki thought he saw Dr. Akagi smiling at the girl. It made him think of her late mother and how she’d been with young Ritsuko.

“Temporary or not,” Gendo replied coldly, “she still bears the imprint left by the last two Angels. That makes her a liability and we can’t change our plan at this stage.”

“We’ve adapted before—”

“And when we did, Seele could only protest without following through. After that last conference with Chairman Keel, I believe they’ll start to intervene in our affairs.”

Fuyutsuki had been present for that meeting. He knew what it would mean for Nerv if they did. He also knew what it meant if Rei were replaced at this stage. The scene was all too clear in his mind: the young girl, so submissively standing before Ikari, showing no emotion as he put his sidearm to her head and pulled the trigger—

“You might want to consider,” the Vice Commander said quickly, “that her experiences with the last two Angels might not make her defective. If the First Child continues to do well, she might not be as big a risk as you think.” When Gendo didn’t respond right away, he leaned closer and added, “She might also be a hindrance to Seele’s plans. They think they understand our pilots and how they work, but for all we know, what she picked up from the Angels will be something they’ll overlook. Something they’ll miss until it’s too late.”

Gendo continued watching the monitors in silence. Then he tilted his head and looked back at Fuyutsuki with the same implacable expression.

“Very well,” he replied. “Let her continue as she is.”